I think I might just be a wicked stepmother
Hi Everyone! I am new here but I have been reading this site for forever. Here's the scoop:
I have been with my DH for over 4 years. We got married last year when I was pregnant with our son who is now 6 months old. I have a SS who is 8 years old, and he makes me want to vomit. I saw a post on here about "Do you consider your stepkids family?" And I definitely DO NOT. And I REALLY DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY!!!
The kid has a lazy/slacker/must party all the time mom. We have SS 4 days a week, yet pay child support to her. She usually maybe has him one day a week. On her other days, she pawns him off on her mom, the infamous "Nanna".
Nanna spoils SS rotten. He is her only grandson and her precious littly poopsy. SS wants to be the center of attention at all times, and he is bizarre. He has not one single little friend. None. He only talks to girls at school (he is in 3rd grade). And he tries to act like his Nanna. He wants to go to "estate sales" and look through Good Housekeeping and just sit around like a bump on a pickle.
He is not your normal, rambunctious 3rd grader. He is one of those "I was an only child for forever so I am spoiled and think I am an adult so I must be involved in all adult interractions." I literally spend all my time when he is here trying not to sit still or I will become his "prey". He comes over and tries to talk like he is a little old lady. I don't know how to explain it on here really. I can't DO ONE SINGLE THING WITHOUT HIM UNDER MY FEET going "Why? What? Can I do it?"
I know I am supposed to feel sorry for him because he has a crappy mom. Maybe I am supposed to step up and be motherly. But I am not your normal girly girl, and I have absolutely no motherly feelings toward him whatsoever. And I do feel guilty about that, but I literally feel nauseous when I see him. He is just so WEIRD and demanding. He won't even go play by himself for FIVE minutes. Sometimes I just wish he was really naughty, and then I would have an obvious, legitimate reason for not liking him. I feel so mean, but he drives me crazy, and the older he gets the worse it gets.
I am not mean to him. Not overtly. I literally try to avoid him so I dont bust open and scream "QUIT BEING SO WEIRD. GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY. GET A FREAKING FRIEND WHO IS UNDER 30. PLAY WITH A TOY. YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT" But I know avoiding him is not the answer. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, everyone make them I'm evil but it just felt so good to type all that out. I hope it made sense.
you are only human
i have a future SS that I have absolutely no feelings for.
he is the baby (12 y/o) and is waay pampered.
he is not a bad kid but like you I just want to avoid any interaction with him.
are you Evil? I doubt it.
feeling sorry for him is wrong too that makes kids feel intitled like little NANA is doing for her poopsey.
write down your feelings put it all out there then burn it.
welcome to our little piece of the world we call stephell!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
OMG! I can so relate!
to this: "He is one of those "I was an only child for forever so I am spoiled and think I am an adult so I must be involved in all adult interractions." I literally spend all my time when he is here trying not to sit still or I will become his "prey". He comes over and tries to talk like he is a little old lady."
SD12 was the only child for 8 years until her little brother was born. She thinks her opinion is supposed to mean something to me and tries to advise me on how I should decorate my house, how I should renovate my house, what temperature we should keep it, what new stuff we should buy.... I just want to say, "Look, princess, sorry we're not materialistic gotta-have in-debt-to-our-eyeballs like your crazy idiot of a mother. You have no concept of money, or earning a damn thing, so shut up and listen, rather than tell me what I should do with MY THINGS!" But I bite my lip until it bleeds other than to snap that we're not made of money. Gah!
And yeah, other than that, and her being lazy, and not paying attention to ANYTHING, she's really not a bad kid. Certainly not all snotty teenager attitude, or "you're not my mom!" The worst thing she can think of to say about me is, "I don't think Miss Trish really LOVES me!" when she's being emotional and dramatic. Well duh, kid, of course I don't. I do tend to avoid her, or send her off to play on the computer or read or something so I don't have to deal with her. I feel guilty about that, but it's not like we can put her into sports or anything - we only get her for six weeks in the summers.
So yeah, you're not alone. I feel horrible and evil for counting down visitation - a week this Christmas at my MIL's, nothing next summer (DH will be deployed), I'll probably be deployed the following summer.... and then she'll be 15, just like that, and half the time until she's emancipated will be gone. You're not the worst out there by a long shot.