I have a beautiful 8 month old BD. We spend all sorts of time together. My SD is 11 and is totally in sports until 8pm almost every night! So if I'm lucky I may get 30 min of QT with her a day. There are sport events many weekends. The deal is that and I know she's about to hit the teenage years in a hard way and she needs some guidance and I don't think she'll get really good info about life from anyone but me. Her BParents are uneducated, quite frankly. We have a good relationship, but but her BD and SM hog all of her time because they own the sports facility where she is all day after school. They don't seem to care about her schooling so me and my wife are the ones who have to deal with those issues since she isn't the best student.

Bottom line, I hate to admit it but I'm 10X more interested in the well being and future of my BD, but that is largely due to the time my SD is with her other family. She is there every other weekend and on Monday all day. But again, she's does sports until 8pm almost every night. We tried to get her in other sports, but her BD wouldn't let her. I hate going to her sport events since it is a 5 hour waste of my time and we have to stare at the other couple. Should I just not go since I hate every minute of it? My wife would be very pissed if I quit going.

Should I just disengage and let her go? Or should I try a little harder? The other thing that kills me is that I have absolutely no influence over her. Her SM is her coach, her BD is her BD who works at the sports facility. Her BM is her BM, so I'm the low person on the totem pole here. And I feel like I"m the only one who is interested in her long term future because I'm the only one who is doing her college fund, saving money for her, going over her suggested life plan of first finishing college, then marrying then having a baby in that order. It just hurts that I don't think she really cares about me, I think we just deal with each other in cordial way, but that is about it. I get that she wants to remain loyal to her BD, but if I don't get any appreciation in return why should I make the effort? Am I doing anything wrong here?