I have posted a few times about the problems I have had with my SD but I don't think I have mentioned her lying before. We have got into the habit of talking through issues which had made things a lot easier. A couple of weeks ago she came and told me her mother was hurting her, we had to involve child protection last year when her mother had bruised her. I was horrified with the things she described - being grabbed round the throat, having her hair yanked, being violently prodded. We sat down and discussed it with her dad, my fiance. We decided we would leave it a couple of days while we decided what to do i.e. talk to her mum, go to child protection etc. My fiance spoke to his solicitor who advised contacting child services, so the next time SD and SS were at our house we called child protection. I then had a weekend of being used as an emotional crutch for sobbing distraught SD, terribly concerned her mother wouldnt love her any more etc. BM denied all harm and the children went back. The beginning of this week my fiance and BM took SS for a hospital check up, they always do these together. While there my fiance asked BM if she wanted to discuss what had happened, she did. She denied again all harm and then told him of the abuse we had been accused of by SD. Apparently I have taken SD shopping then just left her in the middle of the supermarket - I have not, I did walk about 2 metres away from her when she was being such a spiteful little brat I was starting to cry but thats about it. She has also told BM that we regularly send her to her room to chill out for several hours at a time. We don't we send her for chill out telling her to come down when she has thought about her behaviour - normally around 5 minutes.

I am absolutely furious with the lies she has told about us, we have no idea now whether or not BM has harmed her which means I also feel bad that we have acted on SD's word rather than discussing with BM. BM and fiance have agreed that in future they will discuss all such "stories" as soon as they occur. However, I cant seem to calm down. I refused totally to see SD when she was due a visit this week. I have to see her tomorrow but I hate the thought of it. I have told fiance I am not prepared to take her anywhere on my own again but he does not think that is the right thing to do. He believes that he and her mother have said they are drawing a line under what has happened so far then so should I. Problem is having had a difficult relationship with her for months to suddenly be let down and lied to again by her I am not prepared to be forgiving. Quite frankly I would be more than happy never to lay eyes on her again, I find her lies abhorrent and almost evil. We made it quite clear to her when she was asking us to ring social services about her mother that doing so could cause her mother to lose her job (her profession involves working with vulnerable people). She said she didnt care she just wanted it to stop.

Anyone any tips on how to deal with my anger as as much as I currently loathe the little I do love her dad and her brother so for their sakes I need to at least be able to treat her in a reasonable manner.