Do you think I'm bieng unreasonable? I just am done giving another chance. sorry for the language.
SS8 has made our life hell. He would make up abuse stories to BM & also to my MIL/SIL/Niece....they sided with BM ...not their own son. They all got together and decided that SS8 should not be allowed sleepovers at our home and DH could only do visitation but not in our home. This is a big slam to me. I have 4 kids...I don't even believe in spanking!!!. We had rules in our house he was ALWAYS in shit for lying...compulsive lying...picking his nose and wiping it on my walls/ his bed/couch...disgusting. This now put a giant wedge between me and DH's family. But everytime he made up a story...oh poor SS8...here's a new video game/lets go to a movie but only you not the other kids...and on and on.
Okay...so I hate to say it. ...our house has been peaceful...I have had no Step for 2 months. DH see's him 3 days a week a couple times he's come for dinner then left...or has been there but I'm out.
Last night...my BS told me that SS told him he's coming back to start sleeping over every second weekend again...I was floored. I confronted DH and he said SS8 wants to start coming over he's sorry....awwwww did the video games run out because you aren't around to make up shit? I said no way. I will not walk on eggshells every second weekend because I'm worried what crap he'll say....what if he makes up something really bad and I loose my kids? DH said I should give him a chance. I said not going to happen. ....I swear it's just because he needs to be in the situation to make up the crap to get rewarded..and because Christmas is coming.
We also pay child support for BM's older son ( my DH's stepson)...he graduates this year has had nothing to do with us for almost 3 years...he has made it clear that he doesn't want to be a part of our family. But CS ends when he graduates high school....so we get a text from BM...You should make an effort to include him in your family how do you think he feels being cut off...he should start coming every other weekend to your house.....we're not stupid...if he starts coming we can't end CS at highschool and she gets another 2-4 years plus we have to pay for 1/2 of university too.....I told DH don't you dare...wait till he graduates..sign the stop support order and then tell him (not BM) that he's there if he needs him. But this is just BM trying to extend her money.
All this....I honestly wish I would have not gotten involved with someone who has kids.
I'm so sorry, I know the
I'm so sorry, I know the strain it can put on a marriage when a skid is not allowed to sleep over, but Sally is right. You've got to worry about your kids first, it's not your fault his kid did these things.
3 are mine from a previous
3 are mine from a previous marriage of 15 years. 1 we have together. lol. I don't think I'm a crazy BM...I get along really well with my ex's gf....is that you??
You should definitely stand
You should definitely stand your ground and your DH should support you. This is a great opportunity for him to teach his son about consequences for his actions.
Abuse accusations are serious. Why would your DH want to even risk it?
As far as the step son? Um, NO!
my kids don't really talk to
my kids don't really talk to him about it. my BS11 loves my SS8...because they play hockey together but he gets frustrated with him by the end because SS will do something and blame BS...then when we question him a bit we find out he's lying...my two DD's are 14/15, old enough to choose who they live with to be honest and my ex knows this. (and to be honest he has a new life with a 1 year old baby I don't think he would want them full time at this age..lol but he's a great Dad to them and I have talked to him about the situation and he just think's DH's family is nuts. My girls are actually happy not having him coming around.
When he does come over for dinner...we are never ever to be left in a room with him...if DH goes outside...SS has to too. DH isn't pushing the issue about him not coming over..I told him a long time ago I will not loose my kids for him and his son.
CS we can stop on the Step son (not DH's son...BM's son from who knows) when he graduates hs but if we have a relationship (father/son) then it goes till he's done university/college, and we are on the hook for the cost of post secondary too. I know the push right now from BM to have this relationship all of a sudden is because she realized this.
Due to the he abuse
Due to the he abuse allegations and the fact that you have kids of your own, never having the kid in my home again would be a huge deal breaker for me. Protecting your kids has to be your first priority. An abuse charge (even a false one depending on what is alleged) could land your bios in foster care. I've seen kids pulled from their home while the parents were investigated. Once the charges were found to be false, the kids were returned home. No man is worth taking that risk.