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Covid 19 and pregnancy

Opti88's picture

Hey all I'm new here

I have an 11 yo daughter and I'm 30 wks pregnant. Bf has 2 kids 12 and 14. Both in school full time and mines doing online school. I'm asthmatic and prone to pneumonia. With cases of covid going up on apprehensive about his kids coming. They haven't wanted to come in two months BC the BM has told them me and my daughter are bad and that my daughter is mean and bossy. So they refused to come the last two visits. Now with cases rising and cases in their schools the bf thinks it's a good time for them to come. I'm also high risk in the pregnancy for pre eclampsia . His parents said no to Thanksgiving because of rising cases and then I said I'm concerned too. I asked him to ask if anyone was sick and even that was a fight. Then he said if I don't want them to come it's okay and he isn't upset. Only to freak out when I said I was worried. 


I feel like I have no control over my health or the health of my own daughter and this newborn.. I'm one foot out the door. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

"DH, I'm high-risk for having severe complications, or DYING, from COVID. Our unborn CHILD is at risk of dying WITH ME. I know you want to see your kids, so let's talk about ways to do that that limits exposure in this house."

Then talk about external activities that he could do with them. I also think it's fair to say to him that if he wants them to stay over that you'll need to leave (or he needs to leave) and quarantine for 10 days after. Be firm about your limits and boundaries, but don't let the only option be "no SKs until the end of the pandemic" because that may never come.

Harry's picture

Outside the home.  And keep his mask on and at a safe distance,  What impossibility.     He can not see his kids until this Covid thing is settled.  He want a child with you so it's his doing too.

Survivingstephell's picture

Get your doctor in on this.  Have them explain to DH how fragile your health in respect to COVID.  If DH still won't respect that he is responsible for his unborn child, maybe the bills that come with having extended hospital stays related to COVID might knock some sense into his dumb a$$.   

Stay safe. 

Opti88's picture

So I agree with all your advice. I talked to him and he reassured me there was nothing and the kids were healthy and asked the ex if anyone was sick.

Well... He's talking to the ss11 and he's like something new and exciting happened two kids were sick at school and we got to be outside all day. I was shocked. Why was this not conveyed over. So he messages the ex and she plays dumb that she had no idea. My daughter is the same age and would be telling me that after school and scared. 

Now he's saying kids won't be coming and won't be seeing them. But the blames on me. I'm so fed up

It's too close to having the baby and the numbers count just keeps going up and up. 

SeeYouNever's picture

I'm pregnant too and my DH and his family could care less about the pandemic and it's potential affect on my pregnancy. 

For my husband it's become such a fight and he uses the pandemic to get out of things he doesn't want to do but ignores it when it's something he wants to do or feels obligated to do. He has started acting like that's what I'm doing but I have been universally cautious. 

Covid infections can be more serious for pregnant women, our immune systems are depressed. I get that they want to see the stepkids but we are higher risk right now and we need to be careful. 

Opti88's picture

I agree. I think health comes first, especially pregnant and having a baby. I'm sorry you're going through it as well.

All I want is to feel respected. But for some reason it's such a fight and it's the only fight. 

Stepmama2321's picture

I'm also pregnant (35 weeks) and I'm limiting visitors heavily! The ONLY people I want around the new baby are SO (who works still but practices proper safety), my DD who will be 14 mo, and my parents (dad retired and mom is a teacher doing distance learning, so both safe) because they are watching DD during hospital stay and helping out with her during my recovery as she is super active lol. 

However, since I have a SD, I of course haveee to include her because "that's her sister". She regularly sick during fall/winter and BM still sends her, even last year when I had a brand new baby. BM dumps her off to every grandparents/aunts/cousins she can because she likes to go out and party so she's around tons of people. She also has an older sister who has a different father. So basically this 1 child brings in a whole WEB of interactions with different people.

Its so frustrating because if she were with us full time, I'd have us all on lockdown for a bit after the new baby is born. It's so frustrating because I'm not allowing visits from anyone other than necessary people but because she's my step, I'm an evil person to not want her around for a little bit after baby is born. Ugh!