Can't forgive SS
Two years ago when I was pregnant with my son (about 8 months along) my SS11 went to school under the guidance of his BM and reported to the school counselor that I threw my Son 6, down the stairs. Of course, it did not happen because I was unable to lift more than 15lbs. And I would never hurt any of my children. Nevertheless, five days out the hospital my husband and I were investigated by CPS. Th case was unfounded, but my SS has never had any repercussions for his lying. I can't just get over it, like my husband asks. I am hurt am mad. My SS and I have barely any relationship and I would rather he not continue to co over to our house (my husband has joint custody). I don't know what to do. I have been to two therapists to try to mov-on, but I just can't. Please someone help.
That would be super hard for
That would be super hard for anyone to get past, and I think maybe right after pregnancy, your hormones were going nuts, so experiencing that under this kind of chemical duress can compound and make the trauma worse.
What has your husband done to help you get over it? He SHOULD have given dire consequences for that behavior, which would have been the first step to your healing.
I'd say if he wants you to get over it, you may be able to start if you get sincere apology from both your DH AND your SS. DH for not taking action, your SS for starting the whole thing.
I agree with this but I think
I agree with this but I think she needs some help though and definitely some closure. I don't know that if I had to let it go myself, if I could look at my DH the same way again if he demanded I let go but didn't give me the support I need, you know? Letting go of my anger at the price of my relationship with my husband--but the fact that her husband didn't do anything after to begin with, maybe there would be no hope anyway.
Why did your DH not enforce
Why did your DH not enforce any consequences for SS's lying?
My SD lies all the time and DH does nothing so I can relate, although she has not made up a lie about me that was that extreme yet. I'm sure in time she will, since she has been taught there are no consequences for lying.
I have been through this too!
I have been through this too! SD (now 15) made false accusations about me exactly 2 years ago. DFACS investigated but nothing happened. 2 months later she finally told the trusth. She didn't really have consequences just lost trust. she would say (along with MIL) that I needed to forgive, that I was holding on to resentments from the past. Yes,maybe, but she was also a terror every day for the last 2 years. She accused a man of rape. It was investigated. It was BULLSHIT. no consequences. we didn't even talk about it. Everyone is just exhausted from the drama. So I guess she got bored so she started accusing me of abuse agian this summer. WEll, I'm pregnant so i say I'm done. Me and my kids will not be aoround her anymore. Luckily, her nana (mom's mom) took her. They have called saying it's not working and she wants to come back here. NO. I know she misses living with her dad and she has only seen her sibling once in 2 months. That should be her consequence and teach her, but of course she thinks "she just want them all to myself." (talking about me) My husband understands I am done. It has been HELL.