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Mentally Ill, Rude Annoying Stepson

Sweetbug10's picture

I have zero children and will always have zero children. My husband's son is beyond a handful and I am beyond resentful that he was and is such a shit parent which caused me to be in either of their lives. I guess I should have smelled the smoke and the bullshit when he introduced himself as 'a hardworking single dad.' He is NONE of these things in addition he claimed he had one 5 year old when he said that and he in fact had already fathered 2 kids with 2 women but was only caring for the 1 child. Hence ignoring the older child. Didn't mention he 'might' have another child for months & even then still didn't take full responsibility for him when he knew he was his as he has court papers proving paternity & court papers showing his mandated child support.

We have now been together for almost 7 years married for 3 - through a dhit done of lies and BS on his part and all have been shit each year getting worse thanks to his POS son. He never knew / couldn't see his child had a boat load of issues - I saw them right away yet he wasn't diagnosed with anything until he was 7 going on 8 & that was a crap diagnosis of ADHD. Then I saw shit wasnt getting better only worse even with multiple med changes, therapy everything you could do was attempted & eventually this child went from soso to intolerable!!!!! Just knowing he exists makes my pressure go through the damn roof. Then again we find another set of doctors the team agreed something more was going on finally at 10 going on freaking 11 he was diagnosed with Autism which anyone could have seen but no DAD didn't see shit even with telling professionals - he spoke in 1 word answers his whole life, he was late to walk, talk, ise a toilet, meet any milestones. Like how braindead are some ppl. This is why I say you should need any application to procreate!!!!

Now here we are he just turned 12 and the month before what are we diagnosed with WHICH I HAVE BEEN SEEING & SAYING for like 4 years oo yea  childhood early onset schizophrenia - a diagnosisthat is rare yet POS has it!!! Awesome just what someone wants to freaking deal with...ps severe history of mental health on BOTH sides of this kids gene pool and some ppl undiagnosed including his father and mother with a number of things and no I get to deal with and suffer from it all.

Since Jan 2018 my health has been horrible and I now have 2 fatal noncurable immune diseases - thanks to these POS!!! I was in top peak physical condition before they entered my life so I know it's bc they are around and causing the most stress I could ever experience. It's insane. Kid is manipulative, evil, angry, does things bc he wants what he wants and also has hallucinations, delusions and this year and last has hurt ppl bc they didn't do what he wanted or bc he thought he was 'defending himself' he totally was not & seriously hurt a kid last year. I hope he does something unforgivable & the parents get him arrested I will NOT let him live in my house much longer with this shit and have told his father they can leave. He is his father, he should have known & seen half of his shit early on as he has had signs of a number of his issues since he was 2!!!!!!! Plus the family history

I hate this kid and the fact that he breathes!!!! I hope his social worker can find a group home or mental facility for him before he does something really nuts bc I don't want him in my home anymore!!!! He can barely bathe himself or use a toilet correctly - this is not aomeone i want in my house anymore. 

JRI's picture

I'm so sorry you are going thru this.  I dont know what I'd do.  There are medical people on this site, perhaps they will have helpful insight.  Thinking of you.....

Elea's picture

It sounds like this guy really pulled the wool over your eyes. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Any way you can get out? Why live what time you have left with these basket cases? 
Thanks for the reminder to make my own health a priority. I don't need a stress induced fatal autoimmune disease on top of everything else. 

Sweetbug10's picture

I could get out but thay would mean going broke to get divorced  or having to end up still supporting these ppl once divorced and I can't deal with either of those on top of everything that has already gone on right now.

My health ughh no words but I have tried to ignore them more and focus on myself more to ensure I don't get sicker or end up in the hospital needing more infusions and treatments. But little hard when you have little day over your illness as most dont

Some things are easier said than done sometimes but I do know I will reach my boiling point regardless of what else it will cost me..

Elea's picture

Well, do the best you can to take care of yourself. Maybe at least start to create supports for yourself such as a women's support group or even a book club type setting, anything away from that dumpster fire of a relationship you are in. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Ok, it's time to leave.

You hate a kid that has no control over himself with Autism, Schizophrenia and ADHD. He can't help any of that. It might feel like living with Satan himself, but you are blaming a child who was born this way. He literally can't help who he is. 

Your husband sounds like a POS in every way. Stop blaming anyone but him, pack your stuff and go. Yes, it might be miserable financially, but it is better than how you are living now. You haven't been married 10 years so the likelihood of alimony is small. You aren't the child's parent. Stop wasting your life being miserable. Take control of what you can now and get out. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Step life is especially hard on childfree people, but your situation has other issues that are dealbreakers, too.

You're in a bad situation that is literally making you ill. Your H is a lying pos, a leech, and a shi!!y parent. His son is a behavioral nightmare THAT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AND BE PROBLEMATIC FOR HIS WHOLE LIFE.

You need a plan, and to get some control back in your life. First, make a few appointments with divorce attorneys to find out where you stand and what it will take to extract yourself from this nightmare. Knowledge is power! Next, go into stealth mode and form an exit strategy. Remove all important documents from the home, start selling unwanted items, move monies so he can't get to it, etc. If you'll be the one leaving the home, gradually remove your valuable items and store them elsewhere. You can pretend you're embracing minimalism, redecorating, donating etc. Keep a facade in place while you prep for your next future, then pull the pin when all is ready.

We have a member called reedle2021 who recently extracted herself from a toxic marriage. She was being used and abused, but went into stealth mode and saved herself. Type her name into the search bar and read her blog. OP, she got out. She saved herself, and you need to as well.

You're not the only step parent to develop health issues due to the stress and dysfunction in the home. The best treatment plan is to remove all the toxins from your life. This vampire and his son are making you ill!

Sending you hugs and strength; we're here for you.

CLove's picture

Get thee to a lawyer ASAP. Find out your options. Get your ducks in a row - financially and paperwork wise.

Focus on your health.

Protect yourself. Nanny cams, or just cameras in the house. Call CPS, or 911 if there is any endangerment.

This isnt a marriage its a prison.

Sorry you are going through all that.

Winterglow's picture

I agree completely with what the others have said but I would like to add an anonymous call to CPS once you're out and away because this kid needs more care than his father is prepared to give. Yes, he is hard to live with but he needs proper care and his bios are not capable of assuming that responsibility.