Should I give adult stepchild one more chance?
Don't know where to start, after being married many years, being disrespected by stepkids, manipulated and used - then the behavior started with the stepkids spouses. Hubby made excuses for them for years, he's very non-confrontational and the kids walk all over him. Well I grew a backbone, and warned him if things didn't change I was done! The one Stepchild is married - significant other didn't want to work and they ended up with 4 kids, they expected us to pay for groceries, cook/clean, babysit... they would show up at Christmas without a gift for anyone, let alone their own children, and they bragged about it.
Fast forward, when we tried to stop this entitlement behavior things got ugly - even with the spouse. When hubby would not address the elephant in the room, I did and things went very bad. It was NOT a fair fight and instead of addressing the issues they (stepkid and spouse) made us feel petty like we're willing to end a relationship over a f***ing $300 (where they got that figure I have no idea). Basically they knew they were using us, manipulating us into helping them financially - they got pissy. It's a long story.
So I told stepchild I'm willing to work through this, that they have 4 children and need to grow up, pay their own bills, BUT they also need to treat me/us with respect. The reply I got was "you have to earn my respect." That's when I decided I'm done, I've been over backward for 20+ years, paid for their weddings, planned the entire thing, baby showers, wedding showers, been to every event... this is what I get. This was 2013?
They live out of the country - have 4 kids and are coming to the states this summer. We got a message from stepchild wanting to get together for a meal with the their family. Not sure if I want to open this door again, is it sincere, their way of making amends? Or do they want something... free meal, babysitter, a place to stay (past behavior - when they called there was an ulterior motive and we'd get sucked into being used/manipulated).
Sorry so long, but I'm sure most of you have experienced similar - I and hubby were doormats for way to long, because it was the only way he felt he could have a relationship with them. Thanks in advance!