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SD refuses to pay back loan

Decieved's picture

have a 27yo SD who is a
Submitted by Decieved on Mon, 08/02/2010 - 2:09pm.
I have a 27yo SD who is a total spoiled brat. Unfortunately for the past 10 years that I have been with her father (married for 3) I was totally blind to her true feelings for me. Just before I married her Father, she asked him to finance her dream business. He did his best, but every week she was asking for more. I believed in her, and loaned her a large sum of money from my own account. She tearfully thanked me, promising to pay back every penny. We have a signed agreement for a five year loan. She has not paid back a dime to date. Recently in a fit of anger, she let me (and all of those around us) know just how she felt about me, and it was absolutely disgusting. This has caused great turmoil between H and I, and now she refuses to pay back the loan. I don't want to hurt him by suing his daughter. Any suggestions

Decieved's picture

Thanks Windee,

I am afraid that if I sue her, I will lose my husband. He is already total turmoil over this, as she has asked HIM to help her. She is emotionally blackmailing him and its killing him. I want nothing more than to teach this brat a hard lesson, but she has always been Daddys little girl and I know he will be hurt deeply than he already is.

Rags's picture

Time to put a lien on her home, car, boat, RV, etc ..... Also time to take her to court and get her complete lack of character documented in public record for all of her friends, family and customers to see.

File a BBB complaint against her for unethical business practices.

If she has already decided that she does not like you .... it is time to hold her accountable for her behavior and lack of business eithics.

Nail her ass to the wall. Sue her.

This has nothing to do with your husband. It is a business agreement and you have rights that you should enforce.

Best regards.

Decieved's picture


She has NOTHING to put a lien on, except the business that we paid for. She leases the space.


Rags's picture

Then put a lien on her business, take it over then sell it.

My wife's family has a really bad habit of "borrowing" money from family then conveniently not paying it back. Over time the loan becomes a gift in their mind.

This is to the point that they are all in to an aunt for $10's of thousands and in to my wife's youngest bro for more than $30K. This inculdes my MIL/FIL, BIL and SIL.

The only one who is decent is the youngest BIL who is the one the rest of them have "borrowed" blind.

They know better than to call my wife and I for a "loan".

We did loan one of her cousins about $1800 to facilitate her leaving her abusive alcoholic husband. She ended up reconciling with him then going on vacation.

We won't loan or a give a dime to any of my ILs for any reason. If there is a bad financial decision to make, they will make it. Hell, if they were on fire I would not piss on them to help put out the flames. It would be a waste of liquid.

But other than the obvious they are "nice" people and I like them.
Good luck.

Jsmom's picture

Sue her. Easy. DH will understand that you have no choice. She needs accountability.

Shaman29's picture

My brother-in-law once said something very wise.....

When it comes to family, never lend them more money than you're willing to lose.

Your signed agreement will be in your favor if you go to court, as she will have to prove payments to back to you. If you do obtain a judgment in your favor, you will still be responsible for enforcing the payment. You can file liens against her, which will only keep her from obtaining loans, bank accounts and credit cards. Liens won't guarantee any kind of payments back to you.

With all due respect to your DH, he needs to nut-up and confront his child. You are his wife, you helped HIS child out of kindness. She needs to be a grown-up and begin paying you back ASAP. The only time a debtor throws out insults and BS to a creditor is when they know they are in the wrong. Collect your money and be wiser in the future.

I'm with the BBB. Let them know you're a creditor and she has failed to meet her loan obligations to you. Also, because you have a signed loan document you may also contact Dun and Bradstreet and Experian credit services as a creditor as well.

Decieved's picture

My DH stands by my side as far as the loan goes, and he knows that I have been VERY patient with SD. It hurts him that we are now at odds and he does feel very much in the middle. I have called in the loan, which resulted in her calling dear Daddy and asking for his help out of this mess. She put him in the middle, and continues to do so. She is a master manipulator, and reminds him of how much his divorce hurt her (according to her, she became self-destructive, self-loathing, yada yada yada).
I appreciate all of the advice, and think I will take steps to sue her. Perhaps facing the reality of ruined credit, reputation, etc, will knock some sense into the spoiled brat.
As for deeper issues with my DH, there are none. I simply love him to death and hate to see him hurt more than he already is. And you are all right, this is between SD and I, not him. I will deal with the loan, and leave it to him to deal with his daughters negative disgusting disrespect.

Decieved's picture

Beaccountable: I wish the amount was low enough for small claims court, I would definately love to drag her to Judge Judy or any other highly public forum (hmmm..maybe Dr. Phil??) She would probably pay me back in a heartbeat than endure the public embarassment! LOL.. I am thinking evil thoughts that would knock her socks off }:) Smile