Now the SD's are going to other extremes!
Well, as I predicted back in Dec., the SD's have now resorted to a new level of cruelty. I had told my FH that they would try another way to cause chaos in our life and sure enough, they did. They so much as told a friend of mine, ( a girl I went to school with 25 yrs ago) who happens to be my FH brothers gf. Actually, she is how I hooked up with my FH. But a couple yrs. ago, when we were on speaking terms, the SD's were asking me about us when we were teens, and I told them that Julie always stole my BF's. Mind you, I did not say it in a hateful way, but rather as a compliment. well, they went and told her that (God knows what context they put it in) and now she is angry with me. She saw my FH at the casino one night back in Jan. and told her to tell me she didnt appreciate me telling them that she stole my BF's! I was like WTH! SHe has a daughter who is 19 and she is good friends with the SD's. And the SD's were always dogging her out, saying really ugly things about her, like she was a slut and she steals from stores and such. I thought to myself "damn, thats a helluva way to talk about your friend!" I told my FH I wouldnt dare tell Julie about what they said about her daughter, altho I could do that and start alot of drama, but I try to be the better person I guess. My FH told me to call her and squash things, and I said no, that if shes that stupid to take that to heart, and knowing the hate these girls have for me, and seems like every time something happens with these girls, Im always the one held accountable. Im really losing my patience with all this. I told my FH that i was seriously thinking of moving back to my house when my 10 yr old is out of school. I just dont feel like I belong in this family anymore. And I feel bad knowing I am the reason he doesnt get to see his grandchild. he could go to her house and see him, but he wont without me cuz he thinks it will bother me i guess. I really dont see any good future in all this for me and everybody else involved.
Normally i would call, but
Normally i would call, but its just not worth it to me. I have been thru more drama in the almost 3 yrs ive been with this man than Ive ever experienced in my lifetime. And all this becuase my FH has a big mouth and he went and told the girls confidential things because at the time, he was thru with me. I told him I wish he wouldve let me go on instead of keeping me around to go thru all this crap. He was married for nearly 18 yrs. to a drunk, they got divorced when the girls were 15 and 16 yrs old. This woman was a bad one, a drunk and cheated numerous times on him. He also cheated once that i know of on her , i believe just to get back at her for doing him that way. If youve read my previous posts, I mentioned that the girls had alot to do with him and his x gf splitting. That tells me it must have been pretty bad. But my FH is in denial about his girls, he thinks they are perfect angels. They are good girls, pretty girls, but their attitude and personalitites lack character. I told my FH they stoop to the level of trailer trash. WE had plans to get married in Feb. but now that is on hold. My Fh said its not the time, he said nobody would come to our wedding anyway, not on his side anyways,
These two future stepdaugters of yours
Remind me of the two hateful stepsisters belonging to Cinderella.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
Miz...
Call your girlfriend before those pos SD's succeed in ruining your friendship with her. Like you said, God only knows WHAT they really said to her! I'm sure once you talk to your friend, and explain the conversation/context the statement was given, she'll probably be fine.
By not calling your friend, you are giving the SD's exactly what they want - you're unhappy, and your friend is pissed off at you. They're probably sitting back and giggling about what they've stirred up.
As for your FH, I'm not sure what to say... Have the two of you considered counselling?
Try to explain
I think it is worth trying to talk to your friend, and just in general let your friends and family know even before it comes up, what is happening with your SDs toward you. If you make your friends aware you are not on friendly terms with your SDs, they can put your SDs' comments and actions in perspective.
In the course of trying to talk to your old friend, I would mention what the SDs said about her daughter stealing. I no longer believe that the stepmom should be held to some higher standard when her family is being attacked - I say fight fire with fire. Your friend may be lost to you and I have had that happen before too and it hurts, but I think you should at least try.
Maybe your friend has had a similar experience and will understand. But either way why give up your marriage for these girls, that is what they want! They may be worried about you lessening inheritance also. It sounds like your DH loves you and wants to be with you. Your SDs need to get a life of their own!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Way too many "cooks in the kitchen"
Mel, I posted to you when you first started on here....those "girls" should in no way, shape or form be interfering in your life. Period.
I lived with the same dysfunction when my H and I first started out. They thought they were my "equal" (3 adult SDs) and that they had a "right" to stick their nose into our relationship.
Like you, I had NEVER dealt with anything like that before, and not knowing this site existed, I was clueless as to how to handle it.
NOW, they know better than to EVER stick their nose in. EVER.
If they can't play "nice", then I'm not playing.
Hopefully, your incident will pass (SDs did things like this to me, too, caused lots of embarrassment), but you have to set a limit as to when THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. If they get away with this, and you get back with H, what will they pull NEXT to cause chaos.
Something to think about...is he really worth all this stress?
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Preach It Sista!!!!
I've been married for 16 years. My husband is 50. His mother, who is still very much alive, has been an overbearing, control freak her entire life. Not only was I a threat to her position in his life, but so was every other woman in his life, including the BM. So, she trained all 3 of my stepdivas to hate me and blame me for all their woes in life. My stepdivas live near my MIL. Their mother lives elsewhere. So, my husband and our young children would be summoned to my MIL's house for holidays, where of course my stepdivas would be. Ohhhh, the games that ensued. MIL would be cordial to my face, but turn her head as if not to notice my stepdiva's behaviors towards me. Likewise, my DH never saw it either. They were horrid, absolutely horrid. Picture 3 hybrid crosses of Paris Hilton and Linsey Lohan. Well, as they got older, their behavior became harder to deny.
And then, DH and I went to counseling. Lo and behold, the counselor said, "You have choices". How liberating!! Me?? What?? Other than divorce, what were my choices?? I had to stop and think about it. Well, I decided not to engage them in anyway. I stopped going there to visit. And my young children aren't going without me, because I don't trust them. I'm not going to have them saying hateful things about me to my own children and bringing them into their games. They can see their father whenever he goes there. And they are welcome in our house anytime. They always behave when they are in my house. Just not going to play anymore.
Well, now they complain to my DH that they don't see their "brother and sister" often enough. Since when did they give two cents about them? They can't stand the fact that I have made a concerted effort to cut them out of my life and my family's life (exclusion is DH, who sees them on his own time). They called the shots before. They'd set me up and then spit on me. I'm sure they miss that.
Here's the deal. They will either treat me with respect, as I have treated them their entire lives, or they are nothing to me. If them not having relations with my children bothers them, that's their consequence. They've given me enough grief that I have no qualms about any consequence they may have. I have loved the peace. And, my DH has enjoyed the peace also!! He sees them less. He appreciates the calm here more. He hasn't come out and said it exactly, but he doesn't call them as often. He doesn't want to go there and deal with their drama.
Takes two to argue. Remember that.
M
M
they are
trying anything they can, hitting low.
Cruel nasty girls. I don't blame you for wanting to move away.