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Karma comes back - skids asking for handouts!

2Tired4Drama's picture

With the pandemic and unemployment issues on the rise, it's no wonder people are beginning to look at their lives and finances in a different way.  I saw this posting elsewhere and am amazed at the gall some of these adult skids.  This was posted by a daughter-in-law about her husband's stepmom:

"Step-MIL inherited a majority of FIL’s assets and leads a comfortable life. She doesn’t have her own children while DH (FIL’s son) and I have two young kids. She doesn’t communicate with any of us beyond giving updates on annuity payouts etc. However, she’s always been cordial and friendly. DH and I are struggling financially in the wake of this pandemic and he’s brought up that we need to approach his stepmom for money as it comes from his dad anyway. I don’t know how I feel about this as it’s going to be real awkward. She lives in another state and we haven’t seen her for a couple years. How would I word an email or text or should I just call?"

I wish, wish, wish I could be a fly on the wall and overhear what the stepmother has to say to this "son" and his grasping wife who thinks they are entitled to HER inheritance!

Better yet, it would be wonderful if stepmom happened to belong to STalk and could give us all a "behind the scenes" insight into the situation.  I'm sure we can all just imagine the b.s. she's been put through over the years!

Aniki's picture

OMG. Dad made a decision with HIS money and sonny boy (and wife) was NOT the the answer. 

If they have the gall to approach that lady, I hope she chooses to Ignore the Moneygrubbing Wh0res.

futurobrillante99's picture

If the FIL had wanted money to go to his children, his will would have taken care of it. It all went to his wife. While it doesn't seem fair, I raised my children to be independent and support themselves. They know not to PLAN to cash in when either their father or I die. They will likely receive money, but there is no guarantee after we have each funded our retirement and any necessary medical/long term care.

When a couple marries, they typically agree to support each other to the end and that includes financially. I don't know if I'll marry again because I don't need a spouse to support me financially. But, if there is a disparity in the financial wealth of one party over the other, I think it's only right that the wealthier ensures the quality of life of the less wealthy in his or her golden years.

I have a special needs adult child so I am leaving him money simply to ensure he's got a roof over his head and can survive.

I feel for the SM and I hope her stepson and his wife don't try to harass her.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Based on what DIL wrote, it sounds like they may be getting a monthly payout from Dad's estate (I assume that's why SM is giving annuity payment updates). Do they have funds in a trust that SM is trustee over and can give more money to them during this time? If so, I don't think it would be bad form to ask for an advance on funds designated for the DS.

What I DO find strange is DIL asking how to approach this. This seems like something you'd have a phone call or video conference about. Why someone would think a text would be sufficient is odd.

Now, IF Dad didn't leave DS any money and they're just going to SM because "it was Dad's money and I deserve some!", that's entitled as hell. SM earned that money in same fashion or form. It's hers. The only exceptions I could see are if 1) the money is actually from the DS's mother who died when DS was a minor, or 2) SM was an actual gold digger who manipulated Dad into giving all his money to SM. If either of those situations were the case, though, I doubt there would be any civility amongst those in this group or that SM would be giving updates on annuity payments.

I'm jaded enough to think this could be an entitled cash grab, but not jaded enough to assume that it has to be an entitled cash grab.

KC is not the stepmother's picture

I agree.  It sounds like the husband left the bulk to his wife with an annuity to his son that the wife manages.  That makes sense but I wonder if they understand that cashing in an annuity early like that comes with financial consequences, and if the husband left money to his son in an annuity with his wife as the manager it is probably because the son is irresponsible with money.  I'd love to see a follow up from the daughter-in-law saying SM told them to get bent. 

Rags's picture

IF anyone is calling for a hand out.... it should be the DH in this scenario.  

If there is an annuity set up for the Skids in th is case, it makes sense that the Son/SS in this case request that SM see if they can change the trust to award the Son/SS the principal that generates the annuity and Son/SS can then manage his own affairs.

Some trusts are irrevocable, some are not.

But for damned sure.... SM should not jeopardize her financial security. Not one bit.

IMHO of course.

notarelative's picture

Random thoughts on this:

If SM inherited the majority, his son was not left out and got something. Majority can mean anything from 51% to 99%. We have no idea how large the estate was or currently is.

DIL says SM only communicates about annuity payments. How often do they call her or send pictures of the kids? Do they consider her a grandparent or just a source of annual funds?

SM lives a comfortable life. What is the definition of comfortable? And how do you know that if you don't communicate with her or haven't seen her for a couple of years? And how much of that comfortable life is funded by her own work and savings?

Why is the son's wife writing this and asking how to contact the SM? Why isn't the son contacting her?

I hope the SM is leaving anything from her earnings or savings to someone from her family or a charity and not to the SS.