No just that your kids are gaping assholes !!!

"Are you saying I am a bad father?" Isn't THAT convenient! Instead of confronting the skids about their rude and thoughtless behavior he turns it back on you. Much easier for him. My response would be, "Actually, you DID fail to teach them manners."

Most people get some depression after a serious physical set-back, and this might have a bearing on your expectations of your skids. You said you were not surprised so this tells me that this is not the first time you have experienced their indifference. But is this blame reversal something new for DH?

There have been times when DH has not been as caring or supportive of me as he should have been. One time I broke a leg and he refused to take me to the doctor. SD came over and expected me to cook dinner and play maid to her while my leg was in a cast. Then I let DH know what goes around, comes around. How he treats me when I need extra care determines how I treat him when he needs to depend on me. Ask your DH how he wants you to respond to his kids if a time comes they need personal and emotional support.

Praying for a speedy and healthy recovery. Please don't overdue it. Can someone (friend or family member) come and help you? Then explain to DH that there are people out there who care.

I have had this with my SK's. No compassion. They lack it and it is their parent's fault. Place the blame where it lies. Compassion is taught.

I had surgery and they never said a word. Same week had to put down my dog, nothing. Finally pointed it out to DH and he made them tell me they were sorry. Yeah, too late. I know who you are now.

Point it out to him. Treat him like it is basic parenting 101. I started doing that with DH and SS is much better. SD18 is a lost cause.

Hope you heal quickly from your surgery. I so feel for you. The skids do what they want and it is like you don't have a voice. At least that has been how I have felt.

I have not had any illness like you are experiencing. I rarely am sick but on one occasion I was sick and stayed home from work. Lost my voice (sure everyone was thrilled)and just felt bad. My OSD and SIL want to come over and bring SIL's little cousin. My dh tells OSD I am sick. She says that she doesn't mind and they come over. I thought that was so DAMN rude. If she were sick and I said that they would have pushed back and said they did not feel well enough to have company AND my dh would have said that was rude of me. I get so sick of the double standard.

Had my gallbladder out. My SIL was here for a week to help hubby out with kids and me. I didn't expect him to take care of my children 100%. I have always (even when I was married to their dad) been their primary care giver. My husband helps out, but I'm their parent. Anyways, my kids met us at the door with my SIL when I got home.. Mom are you ok? Can I get you anything? My surgery took a little longer have I had a torn muscle in my abdominal wall. They almost had to change from lap to opening me up. I had one stone only. And it was almost 1/2 the size of my gallbladder. They weren't expecting it to be as big.
Didn't see or hear a word from SGD who lived with us for 4 days. Never asked me or offered to help at all. Of course, she couldn't make it to obvious so she asked papa.
Grrrrrr It still pisses me off at times. She won't ask me anything about anything going on with me, won't say anything about a change in hair color or anything. But she will make sure to ask papa so he gives her credit. Won't answer a direct question, say good-bye unless he is around to see. Thing that still bugs the crap out of me is the hugs. ONLY when he is around to see it. He has tried in the past to give the BS of she just feels more comfortable with me around. I called BS. Said straight out, sorry, believe what you want but she is playing you. It is for your benefit and I AM NOT a pawn. Stopped answering the questions that are only asked around him.

I'm in a hiring process. 3 tests just to make it on the list. 2nd is physical ability. I failed the first time, spent 6 months building up my upper body strength hired a personal trainer, and retook it. I passed and moved on. Just completed step3 about 2 weeks ago. SGD knows I passed, knows everything that went into it. Hasn't said a word to me about it.

Get well soon.

When people turn it around on you, I find it even more helpful to turn it back around on them.

"Are you saying I'm a bad father?"

"I don't know. Are you a bad father?"

My step kids are awful. The whole year and especially during the first 3 months after their dad came home from almost dying and having a liver transplant, it was very hard on me, his only caregiver. Not once did they ever ask how I was, if I could use any help or offer to relieve me. They never thought once of me after all I've done for them the past 10 years and after all I was doing for their dad. I was sad and hurt but feel better now that I have completely cut them out of my life and wouldn't so much as give them a stick of gum at this point. My Husband also knows they are not welcome in our home, he can see them elsewhere. If they can't treat me with respect, they have no business in my home. I will never put myself in a position to be hurt or taken advantage of by them again and that makes me feel good. How you feel better soon!