SD fakes illnesses and injuries
Hi folks. I was wondering if you all could weigh in on something. My SD, age 10, is coddled beyond belief, has little manners and regard for others, thinks the world revolves around her. She still sucks her thumb, doesn't wipe correctly thus gets infections, never flushes the toilet, goes around without her shirt on even though she is developing, acts generally like a 4 year old. She interrupts adult conversations and talks only about her "accomplishments" seeking validation and praise constantly. My spouse gives her oodles of attention, is loving and indulging to her. Nevertheless, she seeks constantly to be in the spotlight.
She always seems to get "injured" playing at school. Twists her ankle. Sprains her arm. Of course she is taken to the doctors. Each time the x-rays come out negative. My spouse always believes her even in the doctors don't. Recently she accidentally kicked a bench at school ( whatever the hell that means) and claims to have sprained her foot. Limping and the whole bit. First trip to doctors they x-ray and of course find nothing but because she acts in agony and dramatically limps, they cast her. Second trip to doctor they take the cast off and give her a splint. After two days she is still in intense pain allegedly and limping like crazy and crying to my spouse. Back to the doctors today. They re-casted it again. Next week she has another appointment with a surgeon. They have said it is hard to diagnose kid's ortho injuries. Whatever, but they really didn't believe her AND NEITHER DO I. The problem is that my spouse does and again the kid is finding a way to be the center of attention. It doesn't matter to her that we can't take a summer vacation or that she might have to have surgery. I am honestly thinking she has a mental problem. 5 or her dolls are disabled according to her with injuries ranging from brain tumors to hearing loss. How can I get my spouse to realize she has a problem??? We can't even change to better insurance because the girl has no regard for how much money it costs to go to doctors. She also missed 29 days of school last year due to illness.
Help!!!! Thx.
Girl, I don't know HOW you
:jawdrop:
Girl, I don't know HOW you put up with that! I couldn't for one millisecond! :sick:
Oh goodness. I'm afraid I
Oh goodness. I'm afraid I can't really help, but I can sympathize. That's just a terrible situation.
My brother and his girlfriend are both horrendous hypochondriacs. The only thing that remotely seems to help is therapy.
That is absolutely awful.
That is absolutely awful. Google "child hypochondriacs" and print out some literature to share with your SO. Getting him to see it is your only hope!
is the BM similar? sometimes
is the BM similar? sometimes mothers suffer from Munchhausen Bi-proxy. where they make their kids sick on purpose for attention. sometimes these kids then learn that behavior themselves.
sounds though, as if the child has been reinforced and has learned this behavior for attention. she also knows it drives you nuts! yes, get help ASAP!
Good Luck!
Thanks for the comments my
Thanks for the comments my friends but EASIER SAID THAN DONE when my spouse is so arrogant about parenting and unreceptive to the opinions of others especially ME. I have been tagged as "out to get" the little one. I generally have to fake being sympathetic to the kid or I incur my spouse's wrath. IT is a terrible position to be in and we have made some progress in the area of manners and picking up after herself but have a long way to go. My spouse is against counseling ( no wonder as somebody would be putting their two cents in). I am starting to think I have bit off more than I can chew.
Aquarian and others....how
Aquarian and others....how are you coping with this? Do you and your spouses argue about it? Do you stay silent? I need some coping strategies. IT is hard to completely disengage when it costs us money to keep taking her to doctors, taking time off work, etc. Thanks.
All I get when I point it out
All I get when I point it out is a backlash of criticism against me for not "liking" the little brat. My spouse becomes very hostile and even said one time " I will always take her side". So there you go. I am done pointing things out. Good luck to my spouse when she starts cutting herself or something. I just hope she doesn't bleed all over my nice carpet!!
My SD11 started this about 2
My SD11 started this about 2 years ago...she's since stopped most of it in the last year (started seeing the school counselor). Initially when I suggested to my DH that she might be faking it, he was hostile because he assumed I was criticizing his parenting. I started sending him articles about kids faking illnesses for attention in the wake of divorces and he started to get it.
Last year, SD11 almost failed 5th grade because of the number of absences she had related to pretend sicknesses. She lives primarily with her BM so we couldn't control her attendance as much as we wanted to...so I suggested that she start talking to the school counselor about her grade issues and some of the challenges she was having with her friends. That led to talks about attendance, attention, and the fake sickness. I also started conveniently forgetting to give her "medicine" and pointed out when she seemed fine.
My spouse is going to have a
My spouse is going to have a rude awakening when my SD10 starts to miss too much of school next year having transferred to a different school district that is much stricter on these things. I have already done some preliminary checking and my spouse can look forward to visits from social workers and even the police if the kid is allowed to continually miss school. This new school has more access to counselors. This will all come to a head and my spouse will be confronted with all the issues that I tried to bring to his attention. Not my kid, not my problem. My spouse is going to go ape-sht having his parenting examined. I will feel sorry for him to an extent after I silently gloat with an "I told you so" victory.