I would go and stay away as best as possible. Mine HUNT me down (like if I leave my husband's side to go to the bathroom), they are watching my every move in order to make horrible faces at me or snide comments my husband does not see or hear-just in passing by, if I am ever left alone. It is crazy. If I say anything about it, I am crazy--so I just depend on it happening and plan on using the bathroom ahead of time. I leave as soon as possible too. Grown children who are emotionally still in junior high school....Ughhh...

I always take a nerve pill. It is terrible, but I can almost have a panic attack thinking about having to be with them...

Look like a million dollars! Hold you head high, it is their problem and their loss.

I feel your pain...

Just remember and keep telling yourself this time will pass....but, it does seem like forever when you are there, I know.

OP, Just keep remembering that you are there to honor and say good bye to your MIL. I know it is tough, but the rest of them are just dead wood. Also, know that they would rip you apart if you did not show.

Just hang on tight to your DH and pay your respects. Remember, it is very hard on him to have lost his Mother.

This is a difficult situation it is as though you are entering a den of lions. Ugh! I agree with the other posters envision your reactions before you go. Practice what you will say should the crows approach you. These crows can sense what your are feeling and they are hoping that you are feeling weak, insecure and vulnerable. What ever you do, do not come across that way. Make sure your head is held up, and should they approach you nod and then walk away. No explanations are needed.

You are not there for them. They are nothing but crows looking to feed. Do not give them fodder to feed upon. Look through them not at them. If she approaches you to apologize make it a game. Ask her to repeat the apology because you missed part of what she was saying. Ask her what she means with the apology. Drag the apology out. At the end, smile and say apology not necessary as you do not know what she is talking about, but thank you anyway, then walk away.

Print out a picture of a crow and carry it in your purse. When they are going to approach you look at the picture to remind you of their souls.

You can do this with grace, we all are sending positive energy to you!

Another idea may be to bring a close friend with you, so that when your husband has to talk to others, you won't be alone...they can stick to you like glue, and you won't be vulnerable to the rest of them.

I am sorry for your lose. All of the advice here is very good. I know I am going to have to deal with this also again some day. I hate funerals; nobody likes them for sure.

If it were me, in your position, I would go and pay your respects. Your MIL has had your back and she would appreciate your gracious presence.

You can get through this with subdued behavior and think of it only as a few hours of displeasure. I feel your discomfort; I also hate it when you have to deal with passive aggression. People will notice your classy behavior, as well as SD's bad behavior, no matter what she has said about you.

Example: When my SGS31 (cancer) passed in a neighboring State, my DH didn't want to attend (his health); therefore, we didn't drive to the services. Word got back to me later that SD56 was saying things about why "I didn't bring her Dad to the services". She was talking very loudly and making sure all could hear. It didn't go over well with a lot of people, who I thought would have believed her; they only got back to me and extended their concern for my feelings for our loss.

This is why I tell you this; most times it isn't as it seems. Will be thinking about you, hang in there.