Blowing off steam about SD
Many Steptalk long-haulers on here know some of my details but as background ...
SD has a significant auto-immune disease which she was diagnosed with as a small child. This resulted in her being placed on a pedestal. She has been completely worshipped, coddled and spoiled her whole life. IMO she is one of the most selfish and self-absorbed people I've had the misfortune to run across.
Fast forward to now when SD is a married adult. She is very much part of the Instagram generation where she likes to have the appearance of a perfect life - gets professional photos taken which show the beautiful couple, the beautiful wedding, the beautiful house, etc. The next thing on the agenda is ... the beautiful child.
SD knows any pregnancy she would have would be high-risk. She already has health complications from her disease which make it even more dangerous.
As soon as she got married they started working on getting pregnant.
SD miscarried, wound up in hospital and had emergency surgery to save her life
SD became pregnant again within months via IVF. Pregnancy was again considered very high risk for both her and baby
SD had significant complications during this pregnancy and wound up hospitalized for weeks
Baby had to be delivered more than two months premature due to her life AND baby's life being in danger
Baby spent several months in NICU and was discovered to have a major organ defect
Baby underwent significant, serious surgery a few months later to correct defect and spent several weeks in hospital again
Thankfully, all seem to be doing well now and everyone considers it a great blessing that such dangerous circumstances have been resolved and SD and child seem to be doing OK. Of course my SO (her father) was on pins and needles throughout all this, deeply worried about his daughter and grandchild.
Then she talks to her father the other day.
SD is in the medical profession and can get the Covid vaccine but she said she has no intention of doing so since she told my SO she's trying to get pregnant. (I imagine she's doing another round of IVF again as that's the only way it will happen.)
Here's the stunner: She then told him she doesn't want to take any "risks" by taking the vaccine as she doesn't know what its long-term effects are.
Is it just me or is this (supposedly grown) woman out of her mind? Does she have a death wish?
Of course my SO is both distressed and angry at his daughter but obviously he can't say anything to her as it's her choice. He doesn't understand why she is in such a rush and is taking such risks to have another child, especially now.
I am disengaged but when stuff like this comes up my SO has to vent to me. I try very hard to avoid saying anything and this time I almost had to sever my tongue because I was biting it so hard.
If I could, here's what I'd say to him: "Your daughter's desires and wants are paramount. She will do anything to get what she wants and in doing so, she doesn't care if she puts herself at risk nor does she care about her own innocent children and the pain they may suffer. She also doesn't give a damn about hurting those who love her who have to watch the fall-out or potentially pick up the pieces. This is how you raised her and this is what you get."
I would also tell him that he needs to have a very frank discussion with her about her trust fund. I'm sure all her medical bills are astronomical. Her husband likes expensive toys and likes to gamble. She just purchased a second vacation home which was hundreds of thousands of dollars. That money pot may eventually run dry and when it does it is going to be a disaster.