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right to pick up sd

cnd62107's picture

my FH's court order says that any responsible licensed adult known to both parents is authorized to do the pick up's for visitation if the parent is unable but the BM has a problem with me and now refuses to let me pick up SD when my FH can't because he works out of town and doesn't get home on the weekends until after the pick up time. they have asked my FH to come without me and to not even have me in our own truck. they have asked him to leave me at the end of their driveway where "there's a shady spot." she is so childish that i can come to the property but have to stand at the end of the freakin driveway because she can't stand to have me near her. there's NO WAY she's going to tell me i can't be in my own vehicle and she's violating the order by refusing to give SD to me. she will only deal with FH's mom but that's not always convenient for us and it's not what the order says...we can't afford to keep running to court to file contempt every time she decides to try and control things...only for them to slap her on the wrist and have nothing change. i don't know what to do...

there are several instances where she has violated. if we document all of them and then go to court with a pile of evidence of what she has been doing would we be more likely to get results than if we filed an individual charge of contempt every time she does this? we can't afford $750 every time she wants to be selfish. we just can't. so do we have to just take this lying down?

cnd62107's picture

thank you that was helpful. what she has done when i have showed up is not be home and refuse to come home with SD until i leave. she called the cops and had them come out to her home and ask me and my FH's sister (SD's aunt) to leave. the police will do this but they tell us that the fact that BM is violating the court order is a civil matter and they cant help. its SO FRUSTRATING

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Document everything and have evidence to back it up. If you go for a pick up, take someone with you as a witness. If you want that person to video or whatever is up to you. But after each instance write down what happened. If you call the cops, write down the officer's name and what they said. If they give you a case number or anything keep that and document it too. Have dh email or write a letter like someone else said stating what the court order says about whoever can pick up the kid and that dh is just wanting her to k ow that you will be that person. Keep a copy of what you send as well as her response. Any texts or emails she sends regarding this, file and keep. keep proof and records of every other time you've filed contempt charges.I don't k ow for sure but I think building a case and having evidence of several instances of going agInst court orders would be more effective. I know here a bm can even be fined after several instances, although we've never had to go that far. Good luck!