I’ve been living with my BF for 7 years. No kids of my own. He has two boys now 17 and 16. Divorce papers say JShared custody but there is NO visitation schedule on file with the court. He is ordered by the court to pay child support. He and the x wife have worked out a 50/50 split with the schedule. Its been that way for the last 16 months. She changes the schedule when she sees fit. When she has a BF she wants us to take the kids more often. When she feels like being a mom she pulls them back. I have willingly helped out throughout the years doing my part as transporter, cook, and guidance counselor. I enjoy doing things together with the boys and we all get along quite well. We take them on out vacations with us and have never had a vacation just ourselves since we've been together. And I have to say it's getting old. Especially when she doesn't make any effort in taking them on vacations at all. Now my BF has to work out of town for a few months and now she doesn’t want to deviate from her schedule. He cannot be here for 5 days of the week. She insists on dropping off the boys ANYWAY and either have ME watch them or have him drive 160 miles back home every night to care for them. She REFUSES just to keep them and deviate from HER schedule because this is HER TIME and she says she has plans for those nights. >

I am NOT responsible for watching his boys- for either of them. I am not the parent. I am NOT listed in any of the court documents as a care giver or guardian nor do I want to be.

This woman has crossed so many boundaries during our relationship and this is one of the big ones. Again no visitation order with the courts..she makes up the schedule and he obeys…on top of it she changes it and makes her X husband take the boys extra nights because she is going out to fancy dinner parties…and she wants to be alone when she comes back home..he says of course he would love to have the boys extra time…all this and he gets to pay HER child support on top of it when she makes 5 times more than he does. They are 16 and 17 and should be able to cook and care for themselves anyway at HER house when X husband is out of town…yet she insists on inconveniencing me. I’ve had it. BF is not willing to take her to court to get any kind of schedule documented. I want to know if I have any legal stand as they are not my kids. I feel its not my place to cover for her- she needs to step up and think of HER kids first. She is the parent. She should cancel her "plans" to have the house to herself instead of making it inconvenient for everyone else, including her own kids.

I’ve told him I REFUSE to sacrifice MY time for her. I have done my share over the years in accomidateing HER schedule changes often enough. She needs to STEP up and assume responsibility for her kids when he is out of town working to pay her support.

Please help