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Did I have the right to report BM to child proection....?

blackandwhiteangel's picture

all of the other info tied into this, is under Blended Family issues forum, " cant accept my stepson, spouse loves and accepts my children" . my spouse and I have made many reports to child protection and got nowhere. the last report I made a few days ago. now when I went to the police about a peace bond against bm, the officer told me I dont have any right reporting her to child protection, it isnt my business, basically said from his point of view, " no wonder she hate you". But to my knowledge, I thought whether your a parent, step-parent, counsellor, passer-byer, nurse, that you have to report child abuse, neglect, abandonement, anything concerning childs well-being, safety?? that officer said its my spouses job to make those reports to child protection, he has in the past, nothing happened. ive told my spouse if he doesnt report it, I will. thing is my spouse is scared and intimadated of bm and her family, theyre all pyschotic alcoholics. my spouse and his family had so many chances to phone child protection as something was happening but they didnt, bm keeps making threats keep ss away "forever" . was I wrong and out of place to report her with/ without spouse? without my spouse, he agreed to it just couldnt leave work to be there w/ the social worker. the police said it doesnt look good on my part given the history between me and bm. just stay completely out of all matters, issues concerning ss now? even if I know hes in an unsafe, very unstable environment???

blackandwhiteangel's picture

the police seemed to have thought differently, they said I didnt have any right or business reporting bm, because of the history and im just my spouses gf so ....idk I know it was right, confused because of what the police said

Orange County Ca's picture

Obviously it would be received better coming from the father of the abused children. Obviously it would be better if you weren't conducting WW III with this woman.

Obviously all of that makes your complaint less valid sounding. Given all that anyone can make a complaint. And the police and child services can act on it or not as the law requires and they see fit.

Lastly the reprocussions that the BM has in mind may happen regardless of who files the complaint. However if she actually stops his visitations she can be held in comtempt of the courts order and usually just the threat of that is enough to end that activity. If the father doesn't have a court order of visitation he can obtain one easily enough.

IronRose's picture

Hmm. Obviously things are different in my jurisdiction.

If a non-custodial parent makes claims of abuse or neglect, (in my jurisdiction) it is often ignored or dismissed, and assumed to be an ulterior motive in a "custody battle".

Conversly, if a day-care worker, neighbor, teacher, etc. makes a complaint, it's taken very seriously because it's coming from an unbiased source.

Speaking as "just the girlfriend" I did call CPS on my skids Step-dad & BM, but I had no criminal or legal conflicts with either. Also, I have a clean criminal record & have worked with CPS as a respite worker. They investigated, that's all. 8 months later, all skids are aprehended & placed in my care.... :?

OP- Make no mistake here, you are required to report any and all instances of "child abuse", (or even your suspisions!) In my jurisdiction, people can be charged for NOT reporting to CPS if the KNEW abuse was happening.

janeyc's picture

Yes thats right whenever you see anyone being abused or neglected you have a right, indeed a duty to report it, that policement sounded like a lazy asshole, did'nt want you giving him more work, please don't doubt yourself, you have absolutely done the right thing.

IronRose's picture

OP! Make no mistake here, you are required to report any and all instances of "child abuse", (or even your suspisions!) In my jurisdiction, people can be charged for NOT reporting to CPS if the KNEW abuse was happening.

Naturel's picture

You can report anyone anytime for what you think may be abuse. Don't listen to that cop. I reported my boyfriend for his abuse/neglect to his kids. He cleaned up the house, bathed the kids and sat and waited for them. They tried to take his kids even though they swore they would not (silly me) and brought a cop to the door which intimidated the kids. I expected the thugs to show up when the kids were not there but it was a mess. He played them and said I lied about the whole thing. If you report anybody to child services realize that they are like drones. They make take it out on whoever they choose. It's terrible. They threatened to put me in jail. That's what child protection services is for-protecting kids. Ask them. You can be walking down the road and if you feel it you can report something. They are underpaid, uneducated thugs who might as well be flipping burgers so when the investigators arrive things may get volatile. They will lie to you and everybody involved. You cannot trust DCF because they are trained to lie and test you. I tried to help a messed up situation and practically lost my life for it. If you want my opinion, as ANYBODY involved in or near the family you have the supreme right to report her. Goes without saying. Just be careful about the drama that may ensue.

StepKidto3Momto3's picture

You can and should report anytime you feel a child is being abused or neglect (using the legal definition). However, if you are calling over and over about differences in parenting choices or as part of a plan to make mom look bad, then you can be charged with filing false reports.

I'm going to check your other thread to see what is happening that concerns you....

(just realized this thread is old, nevermind)

doll faced sm's picture

Hon, when I was 16, my step dad beat one of my younger brothers until his back was bruised and bleeding. I called the cops and they came out to the house . . . and *refused* to look at my brother because I was obviously a teenager over-reacting to discipline. To this day, I wish I would have done more, but I didn't know what to do.

If the cops won't help you, start photographing everything and file for custody w/ BM having supervised visits. Go directly to CPS, completely bypass the police if they won't cooperate. Talk to their teacher and tell the teacher what's going on so they can start watching (teachers are mandated reporters). Take the kids to the dr. or ER if you have to; medical professionals are also mandated reporters. Keep telling people until someone listens.

Rags's picture

If BM is legitimately neglecting or abusing the Skid then not only do have the right, you have the responsibility. Just as any adult does to protect any child from neglect and abuse.

Make sure you go over that cop's head and report not only BM to CPS but that cop to his own leadership and even the county prosecutor. If your Skid is truly indangered then that cop is now a criminal. Cops are not allowed to have opinions if they are not enforcing the law.

If the cop's inaction exposed your Skid to more neglect and abuse then I would own that cop's scrotum if I were you.

Now for your serial reporting of BM. Be very careful. From your OP I would guess that you are approaching the point of stalking BM. You are going to have to have verifiable and incontrovertable proof of BM's Neglect/Abuse in order to get the attention of the authorities. If you don't have it ... then you may want to tone down your CPS calls against BM.

All in my legal layman's opinion of course.