Very important question
I have a question. Really hope someone can help me here. My DH is being taken to court for child support and full custody of his 11 yo daughter. Currently according to the divorce decree they have joint custody and the decree orders he give her 150/month (not an official child support order, just agreed upon in the divorce) and he also gives her whatever extra she asks for. So two years ago Right after he and I got married she decided she wanted their daughter with her all week and would only let him have weekends. My husband didnt like this but let her do it bc he knew it would start a war with her if he did not agree. He does this all the time with her by the way. It drives me crazy that he lets her walk all over him and intimidate him. He gives in to anything she wants because she is very aggressive and argumentative. where as my DH is very non confrontational. He is used to just giving her whatever she wants so she does not blow up on him. Well this has backfired because three months ago she filed for full custody and child support stating that he does not see his daughter enough and is not sticking to the joint custody agreement. she also made a lot of lies up and could not provide proof for a single one of them. however, my hubby is able to prove that all of them are lies. It is also coincidence that all this is coming up right after we had our first child together. As soon as my baby boy was born, she filed these motions... They just went to mediation yesterday to try to solve things out of court and her lawyer is just as big a bully as she is. They would NOT compromise on anything, refused to give her more time with his daughter. Even tried to give him LESS with her. My husband and his lawyer would inch toward what they wanted but they would not budge in his direction at all. So of course nothing was solved and they ended up threatening my husband with legal fees and less visitation...My husband is FINALLY fighting back. he is demanding more time with his daughter and joint custody and she is pissed with him but he does not care any more. I wish he had stood up for himself before bc this is going to cost us a lot of money.
Anyway, with all that said, my question is will my husband have to pay Her lawyer fees? They are threatening to make him pay hers. his lawyer says its possible. Has anyone seen this happen often, even if my hubby is not the one that filed the motion? Also, will the court take in to account the fact that we just had a baby together, so he had more responsibilities and can not afford to pay her a lot of money?
well he has don ethe
well he has don ethe calculator but he is uncertain of how much she makes. Also she doees not pay rent bc her parents own the home she lives in and she may be RECEIVING rent from another property. So its hard for us to know how much he would owe , but the range was between $300-$600. For me its all about the money bc we can not afford that. He is mostly focused on his daughter and the thought of not seeing her often. He has a suspicion that she wants to move over seas. she has mentioned it a lot and it makes him uncomfortable.
She started this process before the baby was born. The papers were filed while i was in my third trimester and his daughter is very vocal. she does get bothered by the crying but brags to me that she gets to sleep thru the night. LOL. So the crying does not seem to keep her awake.
I believe she may have a preference toward her mother honestly. Which i can understand bc she is a girl. I was close to my mom as well, still am.. but she also tells her dad she misses him and wants to be with him too. truthfully she wants them to get back together and has stated that on several occasions but he made it clear that that would not be happening.
Usually having to pay
Usually having to pay someone's lawyer fees is most likely a scare tactic - some thing everyone asks for but few get. They are usually awarded for wasting the courts time with ridiculous suits, filing numerous times etc.
He does realize he can go back to the schedule in the court order? Especially if it gave him more time.
Nail on the head simifan.
Nail on the head simifan.
thats what he is trying to do
thats what he is trying to do now. His daughter was very receptive to the idea of seeing him more when he told her his plan to keep her longer. She was excited. Then things got weird after she spoke to her mom she seemed more hesitant and then after a few more days she is being just plain rude. very mean to him and accusing him of trying to keep her from her mom. she liked the idea until something or someone changed her mind... I think this is going to be a very long weekend bc all day yesterday she was being very nasty toward him.
my dear sweet sweet husband
my dear sweet sweet husband did not keep a copy of the decree. He was certain she would never do anything like this, so I dont know what was in the original but i believe the lawyers have obtained a copy and they have not mentioned any clauses to us. thankfully.
Any attorney can ask for
Any attorney can ask for sanctions, but just because they ask doesn't mean they'll get them. The judge gets to decide on that.
Good question. I live in MA,
Good question. I live in MA, where mothers often get the best deal. My fiancés ex had an affair , and they seperated because of this. He was an emotional wreck, and did not want to file for divorce. A year and a half went by before we met. Once we began dating, he wanted to get it over with because he was giving her $800 A WEEK, living at his parents house, keeping only enough money to pay for gas and food for himself, and only seeing his kids one day a week! He asked her if they could get a mediator and file jointly, because he obviously didn't have money for a lawyer. She agreed, but then hired a lawyer behind his back, claiming she thought she would 'get screwed over' without one. That was last year. My fiancé has cut her payments gradually, now down to $600/wk, because even with my income we can barely afford to live now they we have an apartment and have his kids every weekend. After months of us waiting for a court summons, he called her lawyer, who said the ex had refused to sign the papers and hadn't made any movement to get it done. My fiancé eventually filed against the ex because we want to get married! She just knows that when it goes to court her payment will be at the MA guidelines ($375/wk). She has threatened to make him pay for her lawyer, but NO ONE forces you to get a lawyer. NO ONE!! So NO!! A lawyer is OPTIONAL. He can't be made to pay for something that she opted for. Do some research online and print it out because if you don't have a lawyer yourself you NEED to stand up for yourself. Good luck!!
WHOA ireally hope we dont
WHOA ireally hope we dont have to pay back cs. I have asked her if she needed something extra would she tell us and her answer was yes. then she comes out of no where with this. if she needed more we could have helped to the best of our ability. this is just down right spiteful...
I totally agree. I think its
I totally agree. I think its ridiculous. I think it is out of spite. He wants to be with her daughter and even offers her more money. Hell he just got thru paying her car note for this month and never complains about it bc he said he wants his daughter to have a reliable car to ride in. I just hope her tactics dont work or we will be forced to downgrade our home and move into a much worse neighborhood.