I am a young mother. I was date raped when i was 16. I kept the baby but never pressed charges because I didn't know who he was and was really lost. I am now getting married and my fiance wants to adopt my son. He has been there from the begining of the pregnancy. Does anyone know how we go about that?

...on what state you live in, but it's a fairly painless, although sometimes inconvenient process. A lot will depend on who you listed as father on the birth certificate. If there is no father listed, then there is no father from whom you must first get permission for the adoption. If there is a father named on the birth certificate, then his permission will likely be required. I'm not sure if you would be reqired to establish paternity first or not. That may depend on your state law. If you have to establish paternity, that could get ugly.

Many states have do-it-yourself adoption processes which are fairly simple. Some states are complicated enough that you might need an attorney. When my husband adopted my son from a previous marriage, I had to have the biological father's permission and we also had to be evaluated by social services just as if we were adopting a child from an adoption agency. I thought this was ridiculous, since my husband and son would be living in the same house regardless of whether the adoption was ever granted, but that's North Carolina law for you. There will be fees associated with this and those vary from state to state. Your best bet would be to first research the adoption law in your state and find out how complicated it is to do a step-parent adoption. You might find your state's Dept. of Health and Human Services has some resources to help you, especially with determining whether or not you have to establish paternity. Or you can just get a local attorney and let him/her deal with it. I think all states have a lawyer referral program where you can meet with a lawyer once for a low fee to get some initial guidance, then you can decide how to proceed from there.

What state do you live in?

~ Anne ~

Who has legal custody of the child? If she has sole or even shared legal custody, then I think she can legally post the pics. If he has no legal custody, there may not be much he can do about it. The first thing I would do would be to ask the ex not to include pics of the child, pointing out the danger of exposing her to sexual predators, etc. If the ex doesn't agree to remove them, then I would talk to whomever owns/hosts the website where they are posted and ask if they will remove them, since they are photos of your underage child and not there without permission. If that fails, then it might require getting a lawyer to file a motion for an order to cease and desist.

~ Anne ~