Too much syrup in my kitchen
Forums:
My problem is not so much with my 13 year old SD, but the way my husband behaves around her. The kid and I get along really well, but he babies her so much when she's here I just want to punch something. I generally end up separating myself from the two of them because they drive me insane, but I feel guilty about it too. He caters to her every whim, consults me on little concerning these whims, and then acts like I'm being unreasonable if I object. It's totally not the child's fault - she's just being a kid and is very respectful and sweet to me. I love her dearly, but when they are together I struggle to keep from rolling my eyes.
Right there with you!!
BF & I have been together for 18 months. The last 3 months we (ie: BF, me & SD12) have been living together fulltime. She is a lot more mature around me when he is at work etc. She knows how to batter the eyelids and say "daddy" when she wants something, rather than ddaaadddd, when he annoys her.
All in all, she's a good kid, and to be completely honest, I may be resentful of her to an extent, because I know, she will always come first. (I/we have no children of my/our own), and for that fact, I feel guilty sometimes, it is not the SD fault.
I was the one that dealt with the first time she got her period, the night of her grade 6 leavers dinner, it was fantastic. Yet, I am not her mum.
It's hard to know where the line is between becoming the wicked stepmother and fulfilling my own needs and responsibilities being in this role. I am lucky that the BM is not terribly psycho or difficult to deal with, probably I would describe her as being indecisive. I am also lucky that BF gives me backup and trusts me in my judgement with discipline (although I feel really uncomfortable) if I need to deal with it.
So, having written it down, I think I may have have started solving my own problem: I am scared that SD will start hating me, which will in turn jeopardise my relationship with BF. I am doing my best to accommodate them both. SD starts high school this year, and I know things will change.... again.
I will expect her to do more around the house (and that's mainly to teach her responsibility), they seem to be able to organise a trip to the movies and their social life, they know how to work the most modern of electrical equipment, then why not turn a dial on washing machine??
Sorry now, I'm ranting
Input greatly appreciated - one way or the other.
Mave