thinking therapy?
For myself. I dont know when I'd squeeze it in.. but I'm thinking about it. BM in our life is causing so much stress- and I'm pregnant so I know its not healthy.
Sks live here full time, they currently see her eowe. Most of you may know that she has been on sup visits off and on. The kids are at a breaking point. They are so smart and doing so well, but all the stress of bm is making them emotional wrecks. Yes they are in counseling. But their emotional issues are starting to affect school, therefore affect our work lives and home. Literally every other day there is something going on with BM. Some email, some tracking we have to do, some contact to the court people to tell them what is up now. Every visit something catastrophic happens either to the sks or around them. At least twice a week I have a conversation with one of the kids about the bad things that happen at her house or the nasty things she says to them, that usually involves tears of sadness and pain from the kids.
I'm tired. I'm tired of watching these kids suffer. I'm tired of documenting. I'm tired of getting pissed and stressed out. I'm tired of authorities telling us they care when they really don't give two shits about what these kids go through. I'm tired of her making excuses about the money she owes. I'm tired of her acting like she cares and loves these kids but yet keeps causing them so much emotional and physical harm.
My husband has the ability to compartmentalize it. They have to go there. He can block it out. Usually I can too. Usually I am all over this stuff (background in social work/abuse and neglect). But lately I just feel like I'm falling apart. She is so much a part of our lives but she shouldn't be. These kids deserve so much better. I know that I am overly emotional bc of the baby, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
If it was me, I would get a
If it was me, I would get a big cheesecake (or some dessert...normally I would recommend a bottle of red wine and dark chocolate...but you are pregnant, so you could do dark chocolate and Martinelli's I guess...) and go over to a girlfriend's house with one or two of your closest bff's. Eat the cheesecake, talk, cry, and watch Steel Magnolias! You probably will be able to clear your head, get some good grounded advice and then on Monday call your therapist. You are in a stressful, stressful situation. It is hard to watch the skids hurt. When I received sole custody of my dd, she would visit her BM and would come home a wreck. I would spend 1-2 weeks trying to help her through the sadness/anger/frustration...whatever was going on. When it first started happening, I was told by a very dear friend, that it is normal to have to try to put them back together again after a visit. That eventually they see the BM for who she is, and will eventually know that you were the sane one who loved them unconditionally. It has been almost three years now, and I am starting to see it. Doesn't mean it is easy and that she hurts any less, but she is starting to understand in her own 10 year old way and she is learning to talk to me about it instead of holding it in and letting it sadden her.
So go easy on yourself. Girlfriend time will help and a good therapist will help you see what boundaries you need to set and help you decide what you can handle. Maybe after talking to a therapist, they can help you figure out what areas maybe dh could pick up to take some of the pressure off of you. But having been through it...not as a SP but as a bio, (which I would think is similar) you will have this go on for a long time. And just remember...those kids are soooo lucky to have you!
Good luck!