Struggling every weekend

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So I've been with my bf for 4 years. With his 5years old son. Gradually I find it more and more difficult to spend them with him on weekend. I see it as countdown from 9am, 8hours to go that sort of thing. Partly because there were times my bf was aggressive to me in front of his son. Pushing me again getting agitated when his son fell in a park. Wet himself accidentally in the public, etc.

Since then I've been setting boundaries and wanting to him a distance. hoping the time would help to fix this.

I know being in a step relationship is difficult. We had an abortion 3 years ago and it was very hard for me to get over it. It wasn't the right time and we struggle back then. But I was firm that we will stay in this relationship regardless.

These days I set my boundaries more firm. I want my own time because I'm fed up with weekly silent torture.

He lost his house in previous marriage so now he's relying on me. But I insisted that I should have my own time and space especially after his behavior.

But now he's being very difficult every weekend as I come back. Come on. It is not my fault. I need my own time to catch up with work, exam. You don't just expect me to be the perfect child minder to pick a good place to go visit and care your child?

What can I do? :

Why are you so determined to

Why are you so determined to stay in such a crappy situation where you hate every weekend, are not being respected, are getting pushed around, are being used for your money, and feel like an unpaid nanny?

Time and again I felt he

Time and again I felt he loved me. The time when his son is not around we are happy together.

Whilst noone is perfect, the down side to him is his past. I really don't know

I appreciate every of your

I appreciate every of your comment to te me a true picture

Please tell me your view. I'm probably in the tunnel that I can't see a full picture

He is abusive to you, leave.

He is abusive to you, leave. Find a better relationship, someone who doesn't have children, someone who actually loves you. He may only be abusive when his child is around, but he's still being abusive

I agree with the posters

I agree with the posters above. Please look into the terms "love bombing" and "gaslighting", if you are not familiar with them.

I've been with him for 4

I've been with him for 4 years now. Does that love bombing still the case?

Sorry, I can't think straight. Please help

Please look up both terms.

Please look up both terms. Yes. People will use love bombing years and years into the relationship. It keeps you "hooked" thinking "they love you and maybe you should keep trying".

This man is abusive to you. It doesn't matter if it is only "some of the time". How much abuse should you put up with? 10%? 40%? 80%?

NONE. The answer is NONE. Please leave him.

Listen to the ladies

Hi and welcome

You may find some of the responses brusk but they come from a place of concern and experience.

Listen to the advice you've been given so far and follow it. Don't give up your life for someone who puts their hands on you.

Welcome to the site!

Your username says it all - "whyamIdoingthis" - you know, yourself that this is not a good relationship and that your bf is abusive. You are worth more than this - ie someone who appreciates you, does not manhandle you, does not verbally abuse you or give you to believe that you are in the wrong. Please dump this twunt and find someone worthy of you.

I'm probably being irrational

I'm probably being irrational here. Would talk and discussion help?

I didn't realise his acts were abusive until all of you point it out. In all honesty none of my friends agree with this relationship. He has no friends in life. But he would do anything for me.

Sometimes I thought it was his anger and stress that push him to say oldd things, maybe family upbringing too.

Would time helps to change him to make things better?

A decent human being can

A decent human being can handle their anger and stress, not take it out on others. His family upbringing? Please stop looking for excuses for him.

You think he just needs more time? It's been 4 years so far and, from what you say, it seems he's getting worse, not better.

You deserve better than to be his physical, verbal and mental punching bag.

"But he would do anything for

"But he would do anything for me"

Except respect you and your needs.

He might also be willing to do anything for you because you are footing the bills ...

What exactly is it about him that your friends don't like?

My friends think he's rude.

My friends think he's rude. He's not very sociable. And obviously, they think I deserve better especially him with a baggage and seeing how much I'm carrying through.

But when you are in love, you think this is what love is.

I've been seeing therapists in the past

But it's too much money and I decide to deal with it myself