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SS14 Selfish self-centered brat regarding father’s day

Alexusmaine's picture

So after MANY years of buying Father's Day gifts for SS14 to give DH I figured time for SS14 to pay for his own gift for DH. First off SS14 has over $1000 between houses for spending money that he brags about. Second I told SS14 he could either work off the gift doing chores or use his saved money. I started reminding SS14 a month in advance that Father's Day was coming up and did he want to look at DH's Amazon account with me and pick something out. SS14 did NOT even have to go shopping just take ten minutes to pick out a $20 gift on Amazon and be done! 

SS14 always would say "not now" when I asked if he wanted to pick a gift. Well a month goes by and guess gift for DH. 

Bottom line is SS14 is super lazy and the thought of doing four hours of "chores" over a month time was to much for SS. Plus SS14 is super selfish with his money/Belongings and again the thought of digging in his loot for money for a gift for DH was again not something SS14 wanted to do. Now SS never said this but I know this. SS14 would get pissy whenever I mentioned looking at gifts for DH. Almost like he just wanted me to drop it so he could " pretend" he forgot. 

This self centered selfish behavior will SS out grow this?

Harry's picture

He is trained that way.  He will want more $ throw at him in the future.  It's your and DH job to buy him a car, pay for college, give him a lifestyle he wants 

Rags's picture

I have to say that dictating what a person does with their money does not make much sense to me.  You told him that it is on him to take care of his dad's FD gift.  It was on him to make that happen, or choose to not make it happen.

I do not think that saving one's own money is a selfish thing.

Reminding is fine. Harping on it... is a waste of time IMHO.

He will grow up.. or not.  In 4 years the growing up process will be entirely on his shoulders and he can figure it out on his own time and his own dime.

FinallySkidFree's picture

SS28 didn't buy his dad a card, much less a gift. He did however, show up for the Father's Day BBQ that I had for DH and the dads in our family. So I guess that was better than nothing. He did sleep over too, and I am hoping that he goes home today. I don't like him wandering around our home while we are all out at work.

ESMOD's picture

I got a nice plant arrangement from YSD for mother's day.. and a HMD from OSD.  

All my DH got was a HFD.. he got no gift from  To be fair, he is not a halmark holiday kind of guy.. and they know most gifts that they have gotten have come via my involvement... 

14 year olds are very self centered.. but this is honestly your DH's slight to bear and hopefully he is ok with the result.

CLove's picture

I think that you should perhaps disengage from the wole fathers day thing with SS.

Let him either do or not. Thats what I did. Left Husband to his own children and let them do them, while I spent time with my own dad.

ndc's picture

I agree with Rags.  There's nothing wrong with him saving his money.  Remind him once about father's day and then drop it.  In fact, since he's shown clearly that he has no interest in celebrating his father, I wouldn't bother reminding him in the future.

If your husband wants the kid to spend his own money, he'll stop buying him things when he "forgets" and leaves his money at BM's house.  If your husband continues buying him stuff that he wants the kid to buy himself, that's on him.  Lots of 14 year olds are selfish and think their parents should get them gifts but not vice versa.  He might outgrow it, and he might just have been raised to be a selfish brat - not your problem in any event.  Stop worrying about it.  Don't contribute any money to the kid, and if your DH is spending more on him than your household can afford, take it up with him.  

JRI's picture

I would disengage from this entire topic.  I know you want to see DH acknowledged properly, we all do.  And, in the younger ages, its appropriate for us to help. But, bottom lIne, at SS's age, its betwern them.

Mamabearof3's picture

You don't grow out of bad personalities and selfishness. It's how he was raised to be apparently. My son got money for his 7th birthday. 20.00. He spent some of it on his sister. His idea. So she would also have something new to play with. She in return did the same come her 5th birthday. 

Dogmom1321's picture

I reminded SD11 that DH birthday was coming up. I told her I would help pay for it. She NEVER looked on Amazon. NEVER thought of an idea. NEVER made him a card. She totally forgot about his birthday. Not my problem. 

ImFreeAtLast's picture

I only concern myself with me and my husband's kids doing for him for Father's Day. You should do the same.