I've had a few miscarriages in my previous marriage (its a god send really). Last year sometime I was telling fdh i could have a 4 yr old right now if I hadnt miscarried, how would you feel if I had a 4 yr old? He said if I would of had kids he probably wouldn't be with me right now. Ofcourse with his age I can see not wanting to raise a small child now, but I have to accept his kids (actually stepkids, but whatever). I was kind of pissed about the double standard at the time, but I'm over it for the most part.

umm yea. My SO told me when we first began dating how happy he is to have found someone without children. I asked him why he felt that way, and he basically said he dated 2 other women with kids and their kids were not well-behaved at all, so he became turned off to it.

I can't say I blame him. If his kids weren't so well-behaved, I'd be out the door. And when they do rarely act up, SO is right there putting them in their place.

My DH said he specifically looked for a woman without children. He would not have dated me if I had children already.

That being said, he also wanted a younger woman (I'm 15 years younger) so that he could have more. He has SD20 from his first marriage, and now we have our 7 month old son, and are expecting another.

I think my DH knew how complicated it is being divorced with a child, and he didn't want to add to it by having both people in the relationship divorced with children. It certainly is selfish on his part, but it does cut down on the messiness. If he refused to have children with me, however, I would never have married him.

I have asked this same question a million times.... but DH only says "I don't know." Which I think is a pile of crap. He sees everyday what I go through. And he doesn't know how he would feel. Sometimes I wish I was did have my own kid to make him feel the same way I do. }:)