Right or wrong?

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I would really like some thoughts and opinions on this.

I have 12 year old identical twins SD's. I also have a bio daughter who is 20 months. My MIL and SIL give my skids EVERYTHING and my daughter gets nothing. For example MIL buys skids shoes and clothes for birthdays and christmas. My daughter got NOTHING and I mean NOTHING when she came into this world. For her first christmas (2010) she got a second hand ripped old teddy bear. My daughter's first real gift from MIL was her Christening present - a few clothes - which my SIL paid for anyway and it was a joint gift.

My SIL is getting married in 3 weeks - the skids are bridesmaids and my daughter will be flowergirl. Skids have both their dresses and shoes sorted and will have hair and makeup done. My SIL took us shopping for a flowergirl dress, which she paid for AFTER my fiance told her it wasn't fair not to pay for it seeing as she's paying for everything for skids. Then I had to go and buy shoes for my daughter becuase my SIL has not once mentioned anything about buying her any or contacted me to see if I've arranged it.

Is this fair? I keep bringing it to my fiances attention, but he dismisses it saying it's not a big deal and we shouldn't worry about it.

Skids were raised by MIL and SIL because their BM went back to work when they were 3 months old, so yes, there is a weakness there, but I don't think it's fair that my daughter shouldn't get anything because she wasn't raised by them.

What do you all think? Am I over-reacting or do I have a reason to be upset?

I like that you say "Your

I like that you say "Your daughter is as related to them as much as the skids are!". This is exactly what I say to him.. but it just goes over his head! Thanks for the response - I was beginning to think it was me over-reacting.

i am in a similar type

i am in a similar type situation, i have said f-it to the inlaws. they have no relationship with bd1 (w/fdh) and show no desire too. it bothered me for a short while, but i realized and came to grips with "boundaries" this year. And not "waiting"

i have set physical and emotional boundaries with those who do not contribute positive in my world. i dont go out of my way to be a bitch or broadcast these boundaries, but i dont HAVE to be around certain people if i dont have to. when i AM around these people, i am cordial and keep my time short.
As far as "waiting", i have a life that keeps moving, kids that keep growing, and before i know it they will be grown. im not waiting around for others. not waiting for things to happen. not waiting for this and that and him and her before i do something, go somewhere, etc... i dont purposely exclude, but instead,,, "maybe next time"

in the end, it is what it is!

in your case, yup its shitty and bullcrap. My fdh wont grow a pair either. it is what it is.
Your dd doesn't get a gift at christmas over at mil house? Bring one for her. They won't pay for her shoes for the wedding? Go get them and enjoy the shopping day with dd.
MIL and SIL aren't gonna change, and neither is dh silence. Make the most out of each situation as you can.
Believe me, I have the moments where I get frustrated and bummed that is is the way it is, but then i snap out of it a couple days later and say
THEY ARE MISSING OUT. not me.

Good luck, remember....it is what it is!

Thanks! You have given me a

Thanks! You have given me a new way to look at things. I bought her shoes, and we did have fun shopping for them - she loved putting them on when we got home I guess a positive here is that I was able to choose them for her and they were what I like. If my SIL doesn't like what I chose, then it's her fault really! Sorry to hear about your situation, but it sounds like you're doing better without them.

Yes, she is my fiancés baby

Yes, she is my fiancés baby too! I know they don't like me. I'm Australian, he's Greek and should've married a Greek girl, etc, etc. His first wife was Australian too and they don't like her either. I figured not liking me was one thing, but my daughter is their blood. Good on you for cutting your in laws out. I want to keep my distance, or should I say cut them out, but my fiancé keeps telling me that we "all need to get on". They make me mad the way they treat my little girl.

I am an Australian, too

I would be very upset, too!!

I would be very upset, too!! Why do they have to treat her like cinderella??? And those skids get the total wrong message of how it is 'ok" that the adults in their family treat them better as her little half sister!Not right.Greek or not.Aren't Greeks normally extreme child friendly???Obviously this family is very selective and biased.I feel for you.

So this is THEIR grandchild

So this is THEIR grandchild and niece...blood related? And they are doing this? I don't care if they like YOU or not - that doesn't mean they make the kid suffer! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??? You had a child with their son/brother. I'd probably ask why? I'd demand an answer and IF they do not give you one...then go your own way...like someone said - get the negative out of your life....I plan on doing this when FH and I get the ef out of his crazy mother's house.

Ah, these darn women...I just

Ah, these darn women...I just love that they want US to love these kids like they were OUR OWN, but they can't even treat all THEIR grandkids the same...gotta love it. I'd be ticked off. If you allow it now, it will continue. Let me tell you that idiot MIL has treated my kiddo like that ALL HIS LIFE...we no longer visit.

It's about control. In their

It's about control. In their heart of hearts they are pretending that the skids are their own daughters, and plainly they can't do that with you. They are no doubt controlling their son too. We SMs don't notice anything odd about the bitching about BM at first because often we agree with it as it seems justified. But gradually, one realises that they are bitching about oneself also and the issue is how no-one is good enough for their princely son. I would agree wholeheartedly with cantwin about how to handle this. Also, bear in mind that as your daughter gets older, if she does start to forge a relationship with them, they will bitch about you to her face. Make sure you don't let her have a relationship with them separate from you. I know that seems incredibly unlikely now, but my eldest who is 13 is finally being asked to stay with my ILs on his own. I can't say no due to how things have gone in my particular family but you can be sure I'm limiting it to a very short period only to reduce the pressure on him.

That is completely wrong! To

That is completely wrong! To me it sounds like in order for the MIL and SIL do such thing to your 20 months old sounds personal, or they're simply doing it on purpose to get your attention/nerves... Which is so stupid on them because that's their lil niece or gran. Beside, she is just a child and they should look at her as family too! With that being said, i will continue to address it to DH, and no longer depend on them to get her not a darn thing. If you recieve well great, if you don't well forget them and continue to provide for you lil' one. Your daughter will have whatever she needs at any time no matter what...
I don't have kids of my own as yet, but i have 3 beautiful nieces one from my younger sister and 2 from my brothers, and it's unbelieveble how i love them all equally as if they were my own. Each time i go shopping and i see something nice for the youngest one 5yr i'll it and also consider buying for the rest of them. Especially because they always together during the weekend, and are to each other like sisters. Especially during holidays: christmas,easter,etc..it just makes perfect sense to me, none of them will feel less important than the other or less special. I treat all of them equally and fairly.
Good luck to you and show them that you don't even need their crap!

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your opinions, thoughts and support!! It means a lot

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