Question for those of you with experience
Forums:
With supervised visitation, which my wife's ex was awarded.
It was court ordered in a specific facility, which my wife's lawyer calls and says is booked fully for 4 months, and asked for a talk about changing the facility.
My wife in her infinite wisdom has decided to refresh her lawyers retainer, which in my first post I pointed out is now coming from her own funds, so that's ok. She wants 0 biodad interaction. Again, that's her holy war.
My question is, has anyone dealt with this? Can his side appeal the co due to this?
Is your wife the one who has
Is your wife the one who has to have supervised visits... or is it her EX that has to have his visits supervised.
Either way, I think that the person who was awarded these supervised visits.. but has defacto no way to exercise them should have the right to petition for an alternate facility because it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to stick to one that is so over booked.
The biodad has supervised
The biodad has supervised visits.
What in the world happened to
What in the world happened to the children that supervised visitation is court ordered?
Nothing, honestly. My wife
Nothing, honestly. My wife made claims that he did drugs. He wasn't convicted of it. He did go to jail for 8 months or so for 2nd degree assault, but nothing to the kids. I'm trying to be impartial in the deal, but I'm also surprised at the courts ruling.
If she goes back to court,
If she goes back to court, she coiuld well see that ruling overturned. Even in cases of domestic violence, as long as he hasn't hurt the kids he'd usually still get (fairly normal) vistation. By going down the road she's decided on, she could well shoot herself in the foot.
That's what I thought as well
That's what I thought as well. You're getting pretty much the whole story here as well. My wife told me that he was a loser and drank, but he wasn't convicted of anything. His record is just am assault charge.
I don't particularly want to get rid of the kid, it's an ok child, but I'm mostly hands off. It's just off, almost, the rulings. The kid is always asking about the dad.
Your wife is abusing her
Your wife is abusing her daughter and you are “impartial”. Parental alienation is psychological abuse and you are supporting that.
Not your question, but had to say it.
It's not my responsibility
It's not my responsibility nor my place to. If it were my own child, it would be much different. I'm of a different breed than biodad. I don't "support it". I've removed my finances from the fiasco. My involvement would not, in any way, be helpful.
I just figured due to the vast amount of knowledge on this site, that I could ask questions like that and get informed answers, which I have, and am pretty grateful for. You can't find input anywhere else, really.
If you stay with her, you are
If you stay with her, you are supporting it. If you don’t make abundantly clear that you think it’s wrong and abusive of SD, you are supporting it. You are an accessory.
Hope you don’t have kids with her. If you do, we will see you in 5 years asking questions about parental alienation.
My DH abusing his child would be a deal breaker for me.
Fully agree with this. It is
Fully agree with this. It is no different than someone watching a kid being smacked around and saying “well, not my kid... what am I supposed to do?”.
As her HUSBAND you should have some sort of voice in this relationship and what goes on?!..... if you already don’t have a voice and she doesn’t listen you.... maybe that should serve as a red flag???
These women always go after men with no backbone though who they feel they can just ignore- it is part of their whole MO.
What you are watching unfold
What you are watching unfold in real time, IF true, should be taken very seriously by you.
I can only have an opinion on
I can only have an opinion on all of this, really. I don't think that I have any legal standing. My wife is for sure being an over-entitled mother, but I believe that she really does fear for the child.
While I'm not supportive of the situation, I do tell my wife my opinion on what would be healthy for a child. What she does with that is her choice though, and the woman did marry me.
In your previous post
You said she was overdoing it with seeking to end any form of custody the bio dad had over a fight... now she really fears for her child’s safety??
You seemed to have a conscience before but you’re following into the same role many partners of the instigators of pas do and thats turn a blind eye to the damage their partner is doing. You’ve washed your hands off the situation.
So you’re wife lied in court claiming he did drugs when he didn’t? Thats the lie she gives her daughter for life so she thinks her dad is a drug dealer.
hcgubm with pas and narcissm follow this route and its the same “oh i feared for my childs life... like really i did!!” When its total bullshit. They think if they say it enough they’ll believe that crap spewing out of their mouth...
saying you’ve washed your hands off the situation because you have no legal say is just as bad seeing a child abused and saying not my problem... you see wrong clearly being done, this child isn’t able to protect herself from the lies going on but you can... and you do nothing
I don’t know if you are ever
I don’t know if you are ever planning to have kids with her.... but don’t!!! My husbands ex did the exact same thing to her husband before him with their kids, and then years down the road did the same thing to my husband with their kids after the split. She “fears” for the children (for no actual reason)- it is an easy excuse to keep the kids away. Look up parental alienation and what kinds of people alienate children (usually borderlines). My husband is an amazing dad and person, he does not deserve what he went through!!!!! He actually went through an identical story to you when he was married to her. When she left him she blamed HIM for abandoning the kids and then it was that he was bipolar and was cruel and this and that and everything (I have been with him for a very long time and I can say that is sooooooo far from the truth). The pain this woman his inflicted on my husband and his family is disgusting.
That being said, in your situation, it is actually for some reason (not sure why??) easier for the dad to get MORE rights down the road when they have a criminal record than it is for dads without it. The judges will tend to at some point feel more sympathy for the dad with the record (or who was recovering from drug or alcohol problems) than they are for the ”boring” dad. I personally do hope it bites her in the ass though. I just hope you really think through what you are doing. I don’t think that you need to sit back and watch this- I think you need to have a voice as to what you feel is right within your marriage and life as well. This show isn’t all about her.
I feel sorry only for this kid begging to see her dad
she doesn’t realise what a shit life she is in for and currently the 1 adult who supposedly had a conscience and could voice himself or say in court that his wife is lying, there are no drugs or tell the truth did nothing... just stood there and let the lies unfold.
as adults in a position of power and influence its our responsibility to protect these kids... i get the notion you can’t give a stuff more than a bio parent but this case, you have an abusive wife who will not coparent and is narcissistic to the core. This kids life will be destroyed and she’ll feel noone protected her...
i have 3 skids 23, 21 and 14, effed up for life, stunted in development and expecting the world feel sorry for them. They blame everyone for how they treat others badly and disrespectfully because bio mum was their only role model and a poor one. They expect daddy pay child support indefinitely even as adults so we have 2 toddlers who will be subsisdising their life...