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OT - Would you go back to him?

ladynischera's picture

I know this is off topic, but I just wanted to hear what others might think of the situation. I'm sure many of you have heard of the current dilemma going on between Governor Sanford of South Carolina, who has been taxpayers money to bank his chronic affair syndrome. He and his wife are currently trying to work it out - as she is willing to forgive him. However, he has already publicly stated that he has to 'learn to love his wife again,' and is 'glad that he had the opportunity to meet his soulmate (his mistress)' and is ready to move forward in his life.

So the question is...if you were in his wife's shoes, would you try to work it out with him knowing that you will always be second best? Or kick his dirty ass to the curb?

I would love to hear you guys opinions on this one!!!

Tara12's picture

unless she there is some other reasons she wants to stay with him, ie, position, money, afraid to be alone, etc. I could never stay with a man who cheated on me period.

WowjustWow's picture

N-O. Never. My body will be cold and dead before I stay with someone who has cheated on me.

She won't stay for long I bet you. It's all a front.

Sasha's picture

After hearing that he was glad for the opportunity to know his soul mate, no way in hell would I take him back.

On second thought, she could always stay married to him and make his life a living hell. I think that would be fitting punishment }:)

belleboudeuse's picture

I would leave him so fast his head would spin. Then I would buy the best lawyer possible and crucify him in court.

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

stuknaz's picture

and to make matters worse he's been hoeing around the entire time they've been married!!

"And this too shall pass..."

LizzieA's picture

What a wanker, as the British would say. And a fool. Using taxpayer money, sneaking off so it became a media event, then saying all that stuff. Serious self-control issues.
I can't see a single reason why she would stay with him. He's made them into laughingstocks.

Austen's picture

No way. No how.
I don't know what Spitzer's wife was thinking, and I certainly don't understand this.

Sita Tara's picture

I have been on the receiving end, as in South American soul mate. Sounds so much more exotic that way but none the less.

Part of how I allowed myself to believe that we were meant to be together, is because I made the mistake of thinking everyone valued fidelity over staying married. Meaning, to me, if my H even thought of cheating, we must be in big trouble relationship wise. If he acted on it? Then we do not share the same standard of marriage and fidelity.

All the vows are important equally.

But fidelity is the one I'd never forgive. If my DH ever cheated on me I would be devastated, but I would not think twice about walking away. In my book, no matter how or why he did it, either b/c he disconnected from me and reconnected with someone else, or WORSE - risked my trust and our marriage just to have sex, I would rather be alone than stay with someone I could never trust again, that I felt I had to bend over backwards (and hang from chandeliers every night) or never question or always question just to keep him.

However...

The wife of the man I fell in love with, the man I chose to release rather than fight for or force him to chose me...for her, it's enough. I believe they are happy. And though that elephant in the room would never allow me to be happy, they have never even discussed what happened.

That is just not possible for me to comprehend. And if I ever was to cheat on my husband, I couldn't face him, couldn't stay, couldn't feel worthy of his forgiveness and would leave as well.

We just had this talk last night, DH and me. And it seems we are the right match in every way, but especially this one.

If I ever felt like cheating b/c I was disconnected, or if I ever learned he had....

we agree we would be brave enough to talk it out.

If either of us acted on it? We would let each other go out of respect for what we once had.

I don't judge my ex affair's wife with what made her happy. Him choosing to stay made her happy. If that's where she finds happiness, that's her business. Regardless of my standards, which by the way may be higher or lower depending on who's weighing in.

Kevin The Man's picture

...that she is a very wise woman. I myself could not do it nor did I choose that path when it happened to me. (came back home from Iraq with a wife that was six months preggo, I was gone for ten months) It seems he is her prize pony and even though they won the race and are reaping the benefits together, he decides to eat from another barns feed troth. Does she put down the pony for that?? No, she keeps her enemies close and knows his weakness. To know someones faults, weaknesses, and hatred for you makes them predictable, and in this she perceives him as she could never perceive a friend. He will always do and act EXACTLY the way she predicts.

Kevin The Man

from the book, 'The 48 Laws of Power', good read, I give you ladies a VERY dangerous weapon when I suggest this book.

I gave it to a genius friend of mine and he has manipulated another $30K a year out of his boss, has two very strapping young boys and a wife that is successful at everything she ever puts energy into. Use the power wisely please!!!