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Mental Health Issues SD13

Ashley1983's picture

Hi, stepparents!

I've been struggling with knowing how to manuever my relationship with my SD.

She opened up to me about a year ago about some pretty deep issues, which forced me to speak with my SO about therapy ASAP. She told me that she has demons and that her mom told her that she has demons too and that in school she was always the "violent" one. During time at her mom's house, SD said her her aunt is an “alchemist” and did a spell for her old friends to leave her alone by burning a picture of her and her friends and leaving it in the middle of the road (SD had been struggling with bullying at the time).

She constantly says she just wants to be left alone and with nature and that she doesnt feel like a kid and feels like an adult and wishes she was an adult... she also says she doesnt think her mom is a good mom and doesnt trust her. She said she has bad images of hurting her mom, too.

She is an AMAZING artist, but draws very violent images. She "rocks" back and forth constantly while listening to music and says the reason she bangs her head to her music is because it helps her release her anger and anxiety. She says when she can't "rock", she feels angry and anxious. Is rocking back and forth normal?

She showed me art she was hiding in her drawers and said “look how violent it is, I'm not normal” and just constantly makes negative comments.

Over the past year, it has gotten better. We have taken her to therapy, as well as play therapy, but it doesn't seem to really work. What has helped was her starting middle school and making new friends. It's honestly been such a blessing because she loves school now.

My SO believes there was some truth to what she was saying, but also feels she was seeking attention. Whether that is true or not, we handled it appropriately and are trying to give her the help that she needs.

Is rocking back and forth, being an introvert, socially awkward, and overall having a negative outlook a cause for concern for my future and when I eventually have children of my own? And of course, therapists will only discuss their conversations with the child with us if they feel the child is in harm or danger - well hello! Look at the things she has said! Therapy has been more frustrating for us than anything and SD hates going...  I try to help her and I feel a huge responsibility because she told me all of this... but I just can't help but question what the heck I may be signing up for... does anyone have experience with these types of mental health challenges with step children?

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

I am wondering what qualifications this therapist has, and opinions that her teachers have. 

Has she been assessed for anything?.....Has she seen a psychiatrist or psychologist?

The only reason I ask is I am curious to how long the ‘rocking back and forth behaviour lasted’.  Did she do this as a toddler or young child, or was it quite recent and gone now. 

If she has shown behaviours such as this from a young age you may want to get an additional professional opinion.