You are here

Mental Health and Child Custody Evaluation?

Jonesie's picture

Hi everyone,

I'm new to steptalk but I've been reading for awhile. We're going through a custody suit and so I've been hesitant to post.

Just to give you a quick background: My DH filed for custody of his 5 year old daughter. BM is his ex girlfriend from college - they were never married. DH and I started dating when SD was about a year old and we've been married for a little over one year. They did not have a prior CO.

DH filed first, then she responded. She requested a mental health and child custody evaluation and the court granted the request. We just finished the evaluation and we are waiting on his report.

Does anyone have experience with a child custody evaluation? Thanks!

Kilgore SMom's picture

I've not heard of that. What all did it require? I've heard do drug testing. You probably don't have anything to worry about. I would make her take one too. Good Luck.

Jonesie's picture

Thanks for the reply. I don't know anyone personally who's done something like this so I thought I'd reach out on Step Talk.

Myself, BM, and DH had to take the MMPI and then we had to talk to a psychologist. I think BM went to the psychologist three times. I only went once. And DH went 5 times. Then the psychologist watched DH and myself play with SD for about thirty minutes. After that I guess he writes a report that will suggest how custody should be divided.

DH is very confident that the psychologist will suggest something in our favor but having never done this I wondered what other people's experiences were...

my.kids.mom's picture

You don't say why dh is seeking custody. Was bm not taking proper care of her? The evaluations are done to make sure both homes would be suitable for the child. They evaluate bm to see if anything warrants the child being removed from the home. And if it did, does your dh qualify as a suitable alternative? That's all they are looking for. If bm passed the evaluation, custody will likely not change. There has to be a change in circumstances in order for them to change residential custody. That doesn't mean your dh can't get more time or even split time with the bm, but if bm has been a good mom in the court's eyes, she has good chance that everything will stay the same. Remember that psychology is not an exact science. It's a human trying to get what's in another human's brain. So even if things aren't quite right, some are able to put on enough of an act to pass an evaluation.

Jonesie's picture

I guess I should have been more clear. DH filed to get some sort of custody order that would protect his rights as a father. BM was withholding information from DH like doctor's appointments and school schedules. If he didn't go along with her visitation schedule she would withhold SD until he agreed. He tried to work with her for a long time but when she withheld SD over Christmas one year it was the last straw for him.

DH isn't asking for sole custody but a shared parenting plan that protects his rights and his time with his daughter. She asked for a mental health and custody evaluation. We were happy to do it... we're very stable and work together at the same place. We have the same doctorate degree and own our home. BM dropped out of school, is unemployed, and lives with her parents temporarily.

It seems a little scary that one third party could recommend something that has the potential to seriously effect your life. We're crossing our fingers.

my.kids.mom's picture

Oh I see. My bf is going through the same thing. Almost exactly. It is so crazy because you never know how it's going to turn out. The bm can make all kinds of accusations, the judge can be in a bad mood that day, the stars might not be aligned...but sometimes the courts do the right thing as far as the ncp/dad. He's been dealing with this for close to a year and it's just dragged on. But lucky for him, she has done lots of other stuff that he has documented over the year, so he has more of a case. Look up hostile aggressive parenting and it might give you some clarity about why bms do these kind of things. Good luck!