Kid not caring; I'm not sure I do either.
Forums:
I feel like my SS thinks we "owe" him everything. Like we were just watching something on TV a few minutes ago. Well he walks out of his room to tell his dad that they need to go ride the 4-wheeler now. We have the SS 1/2 or more of the time. Pay 600 a month child support and every time he comes he acts like nothing we do is enough. He also acts like he doesn't have to care about us or what we do it is just everyone should do for him. I feel neglected half the time b/c the SS basically throws a fit when his dad wants to sleep with me or do anything with me. He thinks he should be in the middle of everything. I guess I am just discouraged today and need a little help getting over this hump. Sometimes I just want to quit.
We all have days when we want to quit...
..it takes a lot of work to be in a blended family. Try to keep a balance between the things you can change and the things you can't.. How old is you SS? Is his attitude age related? ....my 13 yr has had a bad attitude lately (I guess I'm into the horrible teen yrs) she just got a lecture on treating people with respect..this includes me, step-dad, brother, bio-dad and his spouse.....and enough of me,me, me...she is currently grounded...so she will have time to think things over..without any distractions from MSN, friends, etc!
I believe children have to be taught their place, what is acceptable and what is not....
SS having one on one time with Dad is very important for their relationship .... but the same goes for you and your husband as well. SS has to learn that you are not beneath him on the totem pole of life. The adults are the pack alfa's so to speak .... All of you need to spend time together..to build bonds and work out the dynamics....
But hang in there....if all else fails.....they eventually do grow up and move out!!lol
He's 7..We have a long way
He's 7. I think a lot of it is he is the only child here but at his mom's house he has two SB's. so when he comes here he thinks he should automatically have someone doing something with him all the time. we do family things together but even after that he demands that someone be right beside him. last night after i got done working out I went into the living room and his comforter was in the floor. i asked my husband why and he said that he had gotten mad and stormed off to his room b/c my husband told him he was going to sleep with me and not him. he didn't come out until i went to bed at which point he tried to sneak in our room to sleep with us. of course i know he doesn't sleep with anyone at his mom's so why does he feel he has to here?
Does he have any friends to hang out with?
We almost always have extra kids in our house! But where my "x" lives their are no kids around their age ... they do get bored.
My "x" complains that the kids always want to do something that costs money and he can't be constantly spending money to keep them entertained....understandable! My daughter will bring a friend for a sleepover at her Dad's sometimes...same as she probably would if she were here. My son will have his cousin (on Dad's side over)sometimes. For the weekends their Dad doesn't have much planned...it has worked out well for everyone!
At your SS's age..he can't verbalize his issues very well..and may just be acting out his emotions relating to the divorce..new people in his life, etc....
Give him guidance, boundaries, be patient, he's still young enough that you can work with him, teach him how to treat people...
He should sleep in his own bed though...that can be such a hard habit to break once it's established..
Good luck...
Your SS has learned this behaiviour
From my observation over the years when parents divorce that both will bend over backwards for the children. This even happens when they don't agree with the childs request. Your man should start with sleeping in the same bed as you no matter what type of fit is thrown.
We've all hit that point where we want to quit. I understand your frustration & I wish you the best. Keep writing.
I have a SS he is 10 years
I have a SS he is 10 years old now. When he is over our house, he sleeps w/his dad and I sleep w/my daughter. Your SS is 7 so I believe he is still clingy to his father at that age. My SS has to sleep w/his father and will cry if he doesn't. As far as demanding attention from his dad, that is normal if he has nothing else to do around the house. He is still pretty young and children that age need constant attention if no other children resides w/you. Maybe try and get activities for him to do on his own if you want to relieve his demand for attention sometimes. Find out what he likes to do as far as activities he can do on his own when you both can't attend to him. Some ideas, legos, puzzles, books, drawing or video games he can learn from.
I have a 9 yr old SS with ADHD
who has a hrd time sleeping on his own too and although he won't throw a fit when we go to bed he does arrive at least 3 times during the night. I think it's normal to a degree but my husband used to let him sleep in with us if he came in and I told him he shouldn't do that so now when he comes in my husband will go with him and put him back to bed, SS does this cos he knows he can, at biomom's she locks her door so he can't get in so he has no choice, my SS also refuses to go to bed at night and will get hysterical, my husband is usually softly softly but last night SS got hysterical and I decided I'd handle it, my husband and I are total extremes in our views on discipline, I'm a real hardliner - my view is discipline firmly enough to make it count - it should only take a few times. Well SS tried his hysteria on me but I firmly told him I wasn't going to tolerate this behaviour and punishment would be given if he didn't do as he was told, well he got very nasty so I took away several of his favourite toys and told him when he learned to talk to me with respect he could have them back, so there he was crying himself to sleep, I felt bad taking his toys but I figure it's a means to an end, this morning he seemed fine, I wonder what tonight will bring. Kids need to learn adults are the decision makers, society today has made kids believe they are entitled to this or that, I wouldn't have dared question my parent's decisions as a child, they said it, I did it, end of story...............