Is it worth being a stepmom
Hello I'm not sure what I'm looking to get out of this but this is something I've been struggling to find out if I want in life or not. Is it worth being a stepmom? I'm currently with someone who has a kid from a previous relationship. Weve been dating for almost 9 months but I've never really been involved with his kid. I've been anxious about the whole thing since I found out about him having a child which was a few weeks after we were dating. I guess I just feel more than anything sad and jealous that his ex was able to give him a child and share that special moment. I'm not sure if anyone can relate to any of this but I just feel like I wouldnt be important or even if we had kids it wouldn't be as special or hed prefer his first. I know a lot of you will say I'm young because I'm only 18 and my boyfriend is 20 yea he had his daughter young at about age 17 and they were together for 4 years but I truly do love my boyfriend and I would want to have a family soon I just dont know if I should with someone who's already had a kid before...? Is there anyone in my situation or who can give me advice? I'm completely lost. I just dont see how it would work and I feel like I'd never be a priority and the BM would.
I know you don't want to hear this,
but please try. You are too young to want to settle down and have a child with any man, let alone one who already has a kid. Your life as an adult is just beginning. You will meet plenty of guys who will be able to all of those "firsts" with you.
You love your boyfriend and you get along - that is great! Keep dating, no need to start a family right away. Go out and live life - experience all the things you want to do. When the time is right you can start a family.
What do you want to do? Are you going to college or trade school? Make sure you can support yourself before you attach yourself to any man. You will find your 20's a time to explore and you may be surprised about how much you change in your 20's. Please, don't make any decisions now that will limit your options for the future.
If I could like this 1000X I
If I could like this 1000X I would.
Get a career that makes you happy...then worry about a family. Choose someone who can give you what you want.
Don’t do it.... you don’t
Don’t do it.... you don’t need the headache right now. You are only young once in life so wait at least 5 years (or longer) wait until you know yourself better and have life organized and are married and you are 110% sure you are with THE right person. As soon as you have a kid you are stuck and tied to that person for life and if you don’t like the situation (or the person) you can’t just make it go away.... and then it will impact your future relationships and what you can do for a job and how much money you can make, where you can live, etc etc.
I would also say that it is better especially when young and you have more available options to find someone who doesn’t have baggage and then you can create your life with them from scratch.... no worrying about baby mama’s and him having to pay out money to a kid that isn’t yours and on and on
I love my skids. But no.
I love my skids. But no. Especially not at 18. I mean I'm not too old, but at 18 I was still dealing with learning how to live on my own and figuring out supporting myself. That's no time to get married... You have to learn to live alone and be an individual away from your parents before you can figure out how to be married. If I hadn't given myself that time I'd never have really figured out how to be independent.
Other than that. There's a LOT of heartache being a stepparent. Like TONS. And it's unavoidable, at some point you will be hurt, and quite badly.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
You have your whole life ahead of you
No
In a word, no. You should leg it and fast.
You have no idea the myriad ways, scenarios, outcomes, hurt and disappointment that having stepchildren will do to you.
You are 18, focus on you for the next 7-10.