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As I figured She's Doing It!!!

losingmymind's picture

Submitted by losingmymind on Thu, 01/31/2008 - 12:20am

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DH called BM today to ask if her and her husband and DH and I could all sit down together to talk and she refused. She said her husband wouldn't talk to us after I called him and his situation out to her. (long story...public information is priceless and I got tired of hearing how he did everything for SD when DH pays on time- get the hint)

So DH went into how we were going to be moving out of state and that he wanted to only go for summers with SD and she said she wouldn't agree to it. My gosh!! She said that SD had soccer and friends and would miss out on too much and maybe a week here and there would work better for the interest of SD. Are you kidding me!! Right,...SD needs soccer and friends more than her father and siblings!!??

We we are going to fight back. DH is filing with the courts tomorrow for an emergency hearing based on financials reasons (too expensive to come up after the move) to modify parenting time due to the move and DH is now going for EO spring break and half of Christmas and asking BM to have to meet half way for exchanges or put SD on a plane that we will gladly pay for.

I don't get it.....I wish DH could request for a phych eval done on BM. There HAS to be something to this. DH even told her that we have horses for SD to ride and many more activities where we are going and could even play soccer down with us. BM then told him that she didn't think her husband would go for it either...like he has a say!!! What does it take to make these women step out of it? I was on that side once before the adoption and I was never like that. No feelings, no reason to be hateful.

stepwitch's picture

Submitted by stepwitch on Thu, 01/31/2008 - 12:45am

She obviously is jealous of your relationship with hubby, because she didn't do it right. BM's otherwise known in the medical field as bowel movement ya know like (shit), are always stirring it up. Regardless that yall pay your ransom on time, she will never make it easy, that is my experience anyway.

Good luck in court and let us know how it goes. If I would have known back then, what I know now, I would have never allowed my SD to move in with us in the first place. If for some reason, the courts don't allow for summer visits, try not to get upset about it. You have heard the saying, you can lead a horse to water....

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

sparky's picture

Submitted by sparky on Thu, 01/31/2008 - 9:51am

"She said that SD had soccer and friends and would miss out on too much and maybe a week here and there would work better for the interest of SD.:"
I agree. The older kds get the harder it is for visitation. Just recently Cruella said that her skds are asking not to go visit BM for months during the summer. Its not that they don't care of love the NCP its just that its hard to maintain friendships and be a part of things when you have to be gone every summer. The kds are entitled to a life too and most of the time 1 week or 2 weeks is plenty enough.

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 01/31/2008 - 10:07am

And I would request a Guardian ad litem be set up while you're still in the same state.

The court will do the ad litem, I personally think it looks good for whatever parent requests it too. The psych eval we never got, but the day before final court date BM caved after GAL report indicated she had a "self centered approach to relationships....was not able to collaborate with DH or SD....was not able to see things from SD's perspective" etc. It was obvious a judge would have to order a psych eval (GAL's report was based on conversations with all involved INCLUDING SD's psychologist who gave those tidbits based on several visits with BM alone.)

Anyway, good luck. And to warn you any change in custody/visitation can take upwards of 6 mos to a year or more.

LOTS of pre-trials, orders for mediation, etc before we were even granted a court date. Our case started in June and didn't wrap up for a year.

Peace, love, and red wine

losingmymind's picture

Submitted by losingmymind on Fri, 02/01/2008 - 12:16pm

I do get what you are saying sparky but we are talking about a second grader here. Not to mention the cost of driving 10 hours back and forth every couple of weeks....who can afford that kind of gas, time off etc. that it would pose?

I know that when we took the papers into the courts the judges assistant seemed to think that it was reasonable.

On the GAL...is that something that we can set up money wise before the court hearing or does it have to be court ordered? Shared cost or to the petitioner?

You know...DH wanted to sit SD down and tell her explaining it all out to her and of course didn't get the chance. The first thing out of SD's mouth was that she knew we were moving and was surprisingly totally okay with it...oddly so. She said she was excited to spend summers down there and maybe she could then do gymnastics instead of soccer and she could still do spring soccer so she would only miss the mid summer round anyway.

Conflicted's picture

Submitted by Conflicted on Fri, 02/01/2008 - 1:27pm

You're awesome, you said it perfectly.

There is no reasoning to their madness, they just HAVE feel that they are in control or they will combust. This drives me absolutely crazy.... but its all worth it when the judge slaps them upside the head and tell them THATS NOT HOW THINGS WORK!

Poor BM was crying her evil eyes out in court last time when her crap didn't fly and the judge put her right in her place.... man it was great!