i can't understand
why do his mom and grandma have to tell BM they love her and ask her how her ugly new baby is doing every time they see her or talk to her? this is the same woman who refuses to give my FH or his family half of our time with SD6...the same one who took away christmas with SD from all of us last year...the same bitch who kept SD from us for six months straight...the same one who encouraged SD6 at 5 years old to call her stepdad who the crazy bitch had known for 4 MONTHS daddy and refer to my fiance by his first name...this woman has put it into the child's head that her daddy doesn't love her as much as she loves him. and all this is honestly just the tip of the iceberg, but some of his family still won't let go of trying to be friends with this evil bitch even though they agree with us and talk crap right along with us about BM when SD isn't around. i don't get it...it hurts my feelings so badly to hear them say i love you to her, and when they talk with regret about the divorce. someone please explain to me why these people would keep extending their kindness to someone who has hurt their flesh and blood and used their granddaughter as a total PAWN for the past 3 1/2 years?
Doesnt make much sense does
Doesnt make much sense does it? I think the possibly do it to try and keep communication lines open between them and BM for SD sake.
Yesterday morning, DD7 and BS10 had a game. She cheers for his team. My MIL did not come to watch her own flesh and blood granddaughter cheer, (she told her she would come to one of her games)yet my mother and ex mother in law were both there. DH was working overtime so he didnt get to come to the early game. Yet, it was MIL who picked up SS11 from our house for his football game. We pull in right behind her. When there we see BM's parents there watching the game before because they are there with a friend of theirs who was watching her granson play. Didnt think they were going to stay for the game but they actually did. When they were leaving, MIL and DH's ex MIL were all chummy in telling each other to come see each other and how MIL was going to get them a football schedule and how she was getting BM one and they walk off talking.
BS and I left a boyscout retreat early one time because you and everyone else could tell both MIL and DH's exMIL were badmouthing me there in front of everyone and overriding anything I would say to SS's. Such as you dont need to be drinking all that coffee at your age. MIL told SS's right after I said that if they wanted it to drink it.
Yet, she can nod and agree with BM a few years ago when she tells the boys no they cannot get their cD players off the back of the truck and if they were stolen when they got back they should have taken better care of them. I stood there in shock because BM had not paid a dime for these CD players. Bm still calls MIL and talks to her about how bad I am.
Yes, it hurts like HE double hockeysticks but not sure if there is anything I can do to stop it. One a side note, I heard my mom and XMIL whispering about how bad they wished XH and I had never split up. And thankfully, my XMIL is always telling DD how good she does and makes it a point to speak to her a few minutes.
Not sure what I can say but to let you know you are not alone.
i understand completely the
i understand completely the reason for playing nice, its the same reason i have to bite my own tongue every time i see BM. i dont expect them to act out their true feelings on her, i just dont get why they have to go as far as saying i love you. that isnt just keeping the peace. but yet FH's christian grandma stood at the court hearing and told BM God was going to get her for what she has done...which in this woman's mind is the worst possible insult to throw at someone.
Yes, well I had to sit next
Yes, well I had to sit next to a framed huge photo of my partner, the ss and bm in a family portrait taken about a month before they broke up at every Christmas at my FIL's house... so I'm hearing you!!
They think that I have ruined my ss life because my partner and I decided to have our children - but now he's all screwed up because now the ss will feel out of place. Well - welcome to the real world. At some point ss is going to have to accept that this is his life and it is full of brothers and sisters that love him to pieces! But no, because FIL feels that way the ss picked up on it and now plays to that all the time.
FIL goes around to BMs house and help her with her uni degree (which she started because she couldn't have another baby but didn't want to go to work - the poor thing is dumb as nails and won't pass anything) - so instead of being pissed off that BM is doing this just to squeeze more money out of my partner he's all - well she is just trying to better herself. News flash - she's a trashy skank and nothing is going to fix that!! You can't make someone be smarter, she just doesn't have it in her!
So I would be pissed off to - but there is nothing you can do. I just avoid them.