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Help. His daughter refuses to talk to me

meganw1972's picture

I have been dating a divorced man for two years and am at my wits end.
He has an eight year old son whom I get along with and a thirteen yr old
Daughter who we argue about all the time. He gives his daughter everything,
Never says no. She never talks to me, refuses to meet me in the eye (evidently
Mommy told her not to do that and she is obliging). Love my boyfriend and he
Wants to give me a ring but don't know if I can put up with daughter. At Christmas
Literally. Nothing is said between us because she never responds to me

HungryEyes's picture

Why in the hell would you want a ring from a man who is a foot rest for his 13 year old daughter? Are you crazy? I'm sorry honey - but I'd run away. This man does not parent his child and it will get 100x worse before it ever gets better. (Hint: It will NEVER get better). He's a Disney Dad. You said yourself 'He gives his daughter everything and never says no.' Why in the hell would you want to be with a man like that? Does that make him a good father to you? No way. He's a shitty father. I wouldn't marry him. I wouldn't even date him. You'll lose respect for him watching him cater to her and you will never be first. Let me be clear - You will NEVER be first place in this man's life. Get out of this unless he chooses to see the error of his Disney Dad ways and change them.

hereiam's picture

Why does he let his daughter act like such a disrespectful little brat?

Frankly, if he doesn't want to discipline her and teach her some manners, I would refuse to be around her.

A parent should never let their child be so rude, especially towards an adult. He claims to love you but does not think you are worthy of some respect from a child?

Evil stepmonster's picture

Love my boyfriend and he
Wants to give me a ring but don't know if I can put up with daughter.
I-m so happy
If you're ok with living with a man who puts you in last place every time or living with a girl who will give 0 respect then there's a chance. But you're already questioning it, that's not a good sign. Tell him very bluntly, she doesn't have to like, she doesn't even have to pretend to like me but I refuse to live in a house where I am treated with such disrespect from a child and a father who says it's perfectly ok for that child to treat me that way. I'm not saying end your relationship, but I am offering you some advice I wish I would have had before I married my DH. Stand up for yourself now, set your boundaries now, set some rules now. If he can't give you that much respect a good husband he will never be. Good luck.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Agree with everyone. Add that her behavior will get WORSE when you marry. By a hundredfold. Have the tough conversations now, before she ruins your wedding and then your marriage. These kids hate hate hate that wedding license, like nothing they've hated before. You ain't seen nuthin' yet.

rainbow bright83's picture

Agree!