Does this really work out? I do it all the time. But sometimes I feel I should not even think about it.What about you, when has it worked out.Or when has it been something you regret?
When has it worked out? Never. When have I regretted it? Every single time I did it. Like they used to say during the Cold War, trust but verify. If someone has reached the age of 30 without a person they truly thought they knew surprising them to their very core, they have lead a charmed life.
It's working for me. It took me disengaging for DH to give "Disney Dad" the boot and start parenting again.
SD26 and I have an excellent relationship. SS20 and SS17 are both very friendly with me, ask how I'm doing, actually notice things about me or what I'm doing and commnent on them and we TALK. SD23 is a mini BioHo, getting worse every day. Even DH doesn't like her.
DH and I just got back from vacation and it was like being on a honeymoon. Things are wonderful with us. It CAN work.
Queen, DH had me blushing like a teenager MANY times. It was grand! I feel like a new woman.
Sweetie, you DO need to be more selective. When people cause you to do that over and over and over, you should question THEIR place in YOUR life. More often than not, you're better off without them. {{hugs}}
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt.. as in not assigning a negative conotation to an action or words when there is room for interpretation?
It depends.. is the person in question someone that generally would or would not have your best interests at heart.
I mean.. if something can be taken two ways.. and it is coming from someone you care about and you believe cares for you.. taking it the more positive way is fine.. until a pattern emerges that changes your opinion of that person.
I gave DH the benefit of the doubt. I didn't think he was really "over" BM. Not that he loved her but he is the kind of guy that will do anything for his family. I thought for a long time that if BM simply said "Lets be a family again" - he would go running back to have his son, his ex step kids- his family back.
I wasn't sure he could move on in the beginning. He did, he did it so well. I love this man so much. He is an amazing husband and I am so glad I gave him the shot.
I don't necessarily give people the benefit of the doubt, but I also don't find reasons to look for negatives if there isn't probable cause to. I take it case by case. The most important thing in my opinion is to go with your gut. What is that little voice inside of you saying? I don't think that is generally wrong. I have never regretted following my gut feeling, but I have regretted not following it because that has gotten me into trouble. Another thing to look for are patterns of behavior. Could this be an isolated event or behavior or does this person have a pattern of doing blah blah blah?
Only if it is earned. It is only earned with extended honorable behavior. Others have mentioned trust but verify. A good philosophy as long as that trust is earned. If it is not earned then the offender should get only doubt and zero benefit.
When has it
When has it worked out? Never. When have I regretted it? Every single time I did it. Like they used to say during the Cold War, trust but verify. If someone has reached the age of 30 without a person they truly thought they knew surprising them to their very core, they have lead a charmed life.
Thank you. Trust but verify.
Thank you. Trust but verify. Great advise.
Wish I could
Wish I could take credit but it is actually a Russian proverb that Reagan made famous in a speech. Yeah...I am that old. And that much of a nerd.
Interesting, thanks
I am glad you posted that.
It's working for me. It took
It's working for me. It took me disengaging for DH to give "Disney Dad" the boot and start parenting again.
SD26 and I have an excellent relationship.
SS20 and SS17 are both very friendly with me, ask how I'm doing, actually notice things about me or what I'm doing and commnent on them and we TALK.
SD23 is a mini BioHo, getting worse every day. Even DH doesn't like her.
DH and I just got back from vacation and it was like being on a honeymoon. Things are wonderful with us. It CAN work.
Hi Aniki, Honeymoon...do you
Hi Aniki, Honeymoon...do you have a glow!!! I do give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. I need to be more selective.
Queen, DH had me blushing
Queen, DH had me blushing like a teenager MANY times. It was grand! I feel like a new woman.
Sweetie, you DO need to be more selective. When people cause you to do that over and over and over, you should question THEIR place in YOUR life. More often than not, you're better off without them. {{hugs}}
Love this. Makes me so happy
Love this. Makes me so happy for a complete stranger.
Tell me your secrets
BIg smiles for you.
Giving someone the benefit of
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt.. as in not assigning a negative conotation to an action or words when there is room for interpretation?
It depends.. is the person in question someone that generally would or would not have your best interests at heart.
I mean.. if something can be taken two ways.. and it is coming from someone you care about and you believe cares for you.. taking it the more positive way is fine.. until a pattern emerges that changes your opinion of that person.
I gave DH the benefit of the
I gave DH the benefit of the doubt. I didn't think he was really "over" BM. Not that he loved her but he is the kind of guy that will do anything for his family. I thought for a long time that if BM simply said "Lets be a family again" - he would go running back to have his son, his ex step kids- his family back.
I wasn't sure he could move on in the beginning. He did, he did it so well. I love this man so much. He is an amazing husband and I am so glad I gave him the shot.
I don't necessarily give
I don't necessarily give people the benefit of the doubt, but I also don't find reasons to look for negatives if there isn't probable cause to. I take it case by case. The most important thing in my opinion is to go with your gut. What is that little voice inside of you saying? I don't think that is generally wrong. I have never regretted following my gut feeling, but I have regretted not following it because that has gotten me into trouble. Another thing to look for are patterns of behavior. Could this be an isolated event or behavior or does this person have a pattern of doing blah blah blah?
Only if it is earned. It is
Only if it is earned. It is only earned with extended honorable behavior. Others have mentioned trust but verify. A good philosophy as long as that trust is earned. If it is not earned then the offender should get only doubt and zero benefit.
Love this.
Absolutely.