FDH was so happy SD15 invited him over for pics
And she used him for a ride instead!!!! :jawdrop:
Now I'm NOT surprised, I have no expectations when it comes to her. She hit him up for $80 for an outfit (not that he has to report anything to me but he purposely hid it and did not tell me anything, rust me he normally would) I read a msg and asked him about it and he told me. He was writing her "SD15 I really miss you" She said miss you and love you too! You can come see me tomorrow and take pics before my dance"
It's really sad, he was so happy she "reached out" and invited him to see her :sick:
I was not going to go, I know she doesn't want to see me and I def don't want to see her. FDH tricked me, we dropped my daughter off at a family members house for a planned painting pumpkins event, on the way home he says "We are going to stop by and see SD15, If she's not ready oh well " :jawdrop:
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
So we pull up, she's waiting outside with her two friends...jumps in my car (fdh was driving) and says hey, can you bring so and so to her house to pick up dance tickets,it's on the way, then go to so and so's house to drop us off??????? WTF???????
FDH asked her about school, the dance and if he's only gonna see her once a month.
She says she will call him after the dance-never did. Hops out of the car, no pics were taken. She used him for a ride.
He thought he was so special bc she invited him to take pics before her first HS dance, meet her new boyfriend etc.
I didn't say one word the entire time- not hi, not bye, nothing.
FDH was pissed. "I was like WTH? she used us for a ride, I thought you were going to take pictures???" he said "so did I" :?
HE NEVER ONCE TOLD HER HOW HE FELT, HE didn't tell her she's rude for doing that nothing. Just let it go like everything else. She got her $ and her ride, he hasn't heard from her since.
Awww, I feel bad for him.
Awww, I feel bad for him. This is how my DH's kids-well adults (19,20,23) treat him. He finally put a stop to it about 18 months ago. They did some VERY hurtful things-no some HORRIBLE things. It was, and still is hard for him, but I think he got tired of being treated like crap.
Your FDH will either get tired, too, or spend the rest of his life waiting for his daughter to change. I am very lucky that my DH woke up. If he had not, we would not be together. It was horrible. I had to watch him be used and abused. But, so many of the ladies on here have husbands who are still trying to "find their kids' love;" they are waiting, I think, for their kids to wake up.
My biggest problem is really my MIL. She is still insisting that the skids will wake up and be nice someday. That is what she says. My DH and I do not have a lot of money, but she wants him to buy them stuff to "show his love." He was almost broke when I met him. This is my only worry, that she will continue to pester him. So far, he is sticking to his guns.
I hope your SD changes, I really do. If she does not, I hope your FDH realizes he can have a life where he does not have to jump at her every whim. I know it is hard for you to watch.
That's exactly what SD14
That's exactly what SD14 would do if she ever does contact DH again. I see it a mile away. If she gets wind that I'm in Michigan for Christmas and DH is here in Denver alone, she'll be hitting him up for all kinds of shit, I'm sure.
So sad how manipulative and nasty these teenagers can be isn't it?
It's really sad. Hopefully he
It's really sad. Hopefully he will "see it" but he still has so much hope in her it breaks my heart. It makes me resent her more and more when she pulls this shit bc it really does make him sad. I just try to be there for him. How many times is he gonna get burned???
He was upset, and never told her. He vented to SD20 about it, but NEVER to SD15.
I'm afraid he will always be there hoping she will change and she will just take advantage and shit on him every single time.
It's very hard to sit back and watch. I made a therapy appt. It will start with just me then I will bring FDH into it for couples counseling. WE need a third party to help him and help us resolve these issues now. Maybe he will start to get it if someone else is telling him??????
Yeah I get that. It really
Yeah I get that. It really hurts me to sit by and watch SD14 torture DH the way she does. And I can't do anything at all about it.
Am I glad she's gone? Hell yea! Do I wish she would treat her father with respect and love? YES! But she's a spoiled little brat who only cares about herself and unfortunately, he's on the shitty end of the stick.
Exactly but it frustrates the
Exactly but it frustrates the SHIT outta me that he lets her!!! Y doesn't he say, "It would be nice to see you without you wanting something from me" or how about "That really hurt my feelings I thought I was coming to take pics of you before your dance and you used me to cart you and your friends around"
He WILL NOT stand up to her and it drives me bat shit crazy, and I will always be there for him and support him but you know what? I get the short tempered, sad, depressed FDH after she pulls that shit.
See, my DH does stand up for
See, my DH does stand up for himself and he flat out told her that relationships are two way streets, not a highway and a parking lot! She's expected to put forth some effort as well. Mine was a pushover at first when she was calling all the shots. That didn't last long otherwise there's NO way in Hell I'd still be with him.
She's at her moms fulltime,
She's at her moms fulltime, if she was at our house theres no way I could've dealt this long. She used to be at our house every other week until this past June, It really f****** me up, 1 week I was happy, the next week I had anxiety through the roof and would spiral into a deep depression. Since she calls the shots she stays at her moms bc she doesn't like me and I don't let her make the rules. We do what *I* want to do. She can't handle that.
OMG we have the exact same
OMG we have the exact same life!!!!!!!!! SD14 used to be at our place every other week until June when SHE decided she didn't like our rules and mom's place was SOOOOO much better so she's at mom's full time now!!!!!!!!!!!
And yes, I would get anxious, depressed, angry and make myself sick when I knew it was "her week" coming up.
DH and I have the honeymoon period we truly needed, since we were just married in June. She hasn't come over since June 16/17 when we caught her having phone sex with her boyfriend using my daughter's cell phone!
SO many similarities here!
Crazy!!!!!!!
Crazy!!!!!!!
Oh yea, when I mentioned to
Oh yea, when I mentioned to someone that I was quiet the whole time and not once did SD15 say hi or bye and purposely would say Hi DAD, bye DAD and not include me, FDH felt the need to point out that I am the adult and I should have said hi to her first and I could have asked her about the dance :jawdrop:
I said when she is getting in MY car, when WE pick up her and her friends and she is asking for a ride in MY car. When she gets in SHE should say hi, out of respect (which trust me, I have no expectations with her , she has no respect but I had to make my point to FDH).
Am I wrong?????
Yea, WTF happened to
Yea, WTF happened to manners???!!! My own mother never did anything like that for me and it blows my mind what these spoiled entitled brats "expect" and then they aren't even grateful. SD15 goes out of her way to say she doesn't like anything I make and then she helps herself to thirds and hoards it. She does it to be mean.
And if she ever said Thank you I might have fainted from shock. But I will pipe up and say " you're welcome"
Thats just rude.
You are doing the right thing, this year, she will be sorry she doesn't have your help. That was very nice of you to do all those things for her. Maybe she will realize it when she doesn't have it this year! }:)
I can see both sides of this
I can see both sides of this - since YOU are the adult YOU could've made the effort to say hello first and ask her about the dance. However; she's also 15 yrs old. She knows what she's doing by acknowledging her father and purposefully excluding you. It's not like she's 4 or 5. She's FIFTEEN.
In my opinion, you're not in the wrong by ignoring her and not starting a conversation. I'd have done the same thing. And I have with SD14. The last time I saw her, her dad was getting ready to take her over to his grandparents and my daughter and I were going out for a concert. As they were leaving before us, SD said "Bye T (my daughter), have fun at the concert" and nothing to me, even though I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO T!!! That, to me, is blatant disrespect and a diss. I said nothing and DH looked at her and said "What? Is Mel invisible or something?" And she mumbled a quick "bye" and walked out with her head hanging. HA! Called out, FINALLY!
And I do agree I am the adult
And I do agree I am the adult and I even tried to put myself in her shoes. What would I have done? I would have said "Hi" in general or "hey guys" And I was a bitch too. I know it was intentional and thats why I played the game. I don't even want her to think I give a shit about her dance, thats why I didn't go out of my way. She has said some pretty hurtful things and I'm working on not letting it get to me but when someone is straight up mean and disrespectful, I DO NOT feel I need to go out of my way to acknowledge them or ask about their stupid dance.
Like you said, she's 15 she knows good and well what she's doing. Idk, maybe I didn't take the high road but I just cannot stand even the sight of her!!!!
Good for you Redwingsfan, I hope my FDH gets enough balls to do that one day. He doesn't even stick up for himself, in a situation like that I'm afraid we have a long way to go
Oh yes, you KNOW she knows
Oh yes, you KNOW she knows what she's doing by dissing you. Too bad your FDH can't see it and do something about it.
Seriously had major issues with SD when she was 12 and RULING DH's life. She called the shots. It was literally disgusting how much power she had over both her parents. When I finally got him to see the light, he became a real father to her and boy she didn't like being knocked off the pedestal she was put on and went running to her mother, who still babies and caters to her.
I really hope your FDH sees the light and puts his foot down with her before y'all get married. To let a teenager get away with shit like that when she knows better is not a good thing!
We won't get married! Thats
We won't get married! Thats why we are starting counseling now to get these issues resolved! I would love to marry him but he needs to get a grip on reality with his daughter before I say I do and commit the rest of my life to him!
Good! I told my DH the exact
Good! I told my DH the exact same thing. I handed him back my engagement ring and said "I think you need some time to work things out with your kid before we go any further".
We got married in June. This would not have happened had he not become a true father instead of a "friend" like BM is being. There's a reason why SD14 lost her virginity at 13 and has gained a good 35+lbs over the summer - she has no discipline, no structure, no rules and no consequences for her actions. Happy that she's happy with BM and they can coddle each other! Stay the fuck away from me and DH...we actually have a functional and loving relationship!
Good point
Good point