Ex partner coming into house opinions?

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Hi everyone, i was wanting people’s opinions

my fiancé ex partner dropped off items for step daughter for school on the weekend. She has been extremely hi conflict and abusive the last three years and hates me and my partner for no good reason.

usually drop off or pick up is done outside of home

on this occasion she knew I wasn’t going to be there and came to the door, her daughter opened it and said come look at my room which she did and looked at everything else too.

am I right to think this is disrespectful considering her behaviour towards us the last few years and that I was not there?

This should have never

This should have never happened! I would tell her and skid that next time you will call the cops. You have the right to keep your home bm-free! Unbelievable. I wouldn’t trust your skid ever again.

I gather from another post of yours the daughter is 4. Personally I would not allow a 4 yr old to be answering the front door - it could have been anyone. I certainly would not have allowed NPD BM in the house, and would have preferred my DH not to let her in, in my absence but it's his house too. I wouldn't have been very happy though.

ThAnk you, she is six , he

ThAnk you, she is six , he avoids confrontation with her, and I agree he defiantly should have answered the door himself

Thank you, my fiancé was

Thank you, my fiancé was there, cooking by the time he realised she was already half way through the house heading to her room. He said he will set boundaries in the future, neither of us expected her to walk in and do that

I’m generally not a fan of

I’m generally not a fan of the ex being in the house. There is really no reason for it. The child can meet his/her parent at the door.Parents can be cordial to one another during pick up and drops offs. There is no reason for them to be inside the house.That is in no way psychologically damaging or harming to the child. I wonder why your partner allows his children to answer the door and invite anyone in anyways. Issues need to be addressed wth your partner .

BM does not enter my home, DH

BM does not enter my home, DH does not enter BM's home. This just does not happen. BM used to come in, but had made herself unwelcome. We are not friends, but we can be friendly at the door for sd's sake. Sd is 14 and has not ever seen any of the adults be rude to each other. The is no reason for anyone to enter each other's homes.

I allowed BM in our house

I allowed BM in our house once. When DH and I first moved in together he invited her in to see our apartment and the room his kids would be using. I told him upfront this was a one time thing so she could see where her kids would be staying and she was not allowed near our bedroom. I felt super uncomfortable when she was there and I never wanted her there again. And she never was. She rarely did any of the driving to pick up/drop off the kids anyway, so it wasn't really too much of an issue, but she did a lot of evil things over the years that made me not even ever want her on my front porch.

Exactly! BM used to come into

Exactly! BM used to come into our house, when she was in the area anyways to pick up sd... I didn't line that idea, but at first she didn't do anything "wrong". But then she was making comments anout my home... she was no longer allowed in. But, when sd decorated her room she was really excited and wanted to show BM, I allowed her in to see it that one time. After that, no, never again.

Thanks his ex is the same.

Thanks his ex is the same. She is a nasty piece of work. I don’t think he will allow her in again

We did the same thing because

We did the same thing because SD wanted BM to see her room (we had painted and decorated). It was super weird and BM smelled so much like smoke.

When BM and SD moved, BM let us in to see SD’s room too, but that hasn’t happened with this latest move (this is the 3rd time since moving out of the house that DH lived in).

And since the original poster’s SD is 6, maybe this is a good opportunity to teach about answering the door and stuff like that. She might not think anything of it because it’s her Mom.

Hell I would let BM in the

Hell I would let BM in the house before I would let ss34 in. Of course she would never stop by though.

This is my BIGGEST gripe

This is my BIGGEST gripe about BM. She thinks nothing of walking into my house. Drives me nuts. I've asked my H to say something to her, but his cowardly self has not. Obviously I am going to need to say something myself next time it happens. SMH.

Tell her you'll have her for

Tell her you'll have her for trespassing ... and follow through. Who lets her in? If she just lets her self in, keep the door double locked at all times.

Someone needs to remind these

Someone needs to remind these exes what a divorce is. Yes they should be involved in their child's life. Yes they should be polite and coridal to one another. Yes they should be financially supporting their kids. However your ex should not be in your home, period. It is a boundary issue. It confusing to your kids and invasive. It is also disrespectful to your partner.

Normal people do not let

Normal people do not let assholes in their home.

In civil divorces, it's just

In civil divorces, it's just fine for the ex to wait in the foyer or even come into the house. My sister has stayed in her husband's ex-wife's home (I was there too) when in town for her SD's graduation. Awkward, but doable.

For me it's not that they had sex in the past, who cares - it's that she's been high conflict and nasty. In that case, you lose the right to be in my house.

It’s an absolute NO NO

There’s no reason for BM to ever come into your house at pick up or drop offs. Also no need for the skids to show mummykins how their bedrooms are decorated.

No, no and NO!

No BM does not come into your

No BM does not come into your home unless invited by you or DH. SD should also be taught she does not answer the door unless and adult is with her and says she can.

NOPE! DH's ex is not allowed

NOPE! DH's ex is not allowed in our home, she can wait in the car. Once I was coming home from work and I walked into the house with her in the entrance waiting for SD. I gave her a look like why the hell are you in my house, waiting outside. She then quickly left once I walked in saying "SD needed help carrying something" which was bullshit she was just being nosey. I don't go into her house, she doesn't need to be in ours.