OMG...I am embarrassed by:

1. SD11 and DH smooching, holding hands, sitting next to each other or on DH's lap (all while I sit alone), and DH playing with her hair and rubbing her back when they stand in line at a store or restaurant.

2. SD11 is still allowed to ride in grocery cart

3. Loud obnoxious behavior (running, yelling, screeching)

4. Tantrums when Dadddddddddyyyy won't buy that $80 toy (she gets it anyway after they play their game of yes-no-please for a few annoying minutes)

5. The way that SD11 is allowed to dress(kinda like a clown)...just like everything else..no one says anything because no one is allowed to perhaps hurt poor little baby's feelings. She might get mad and want to go live with her mom.

If you could pull off the childcare at Walmart idea...that is a million dollar idea!!!!!!!

LOL...and yes she does ride in the grocery cart (in the basket part lol)...she is not embarrased by it in the least. Socially, she is only on the level of about a five year old though so that is why. When my bio daughter and my former SD (my son's sister) were 11, they didn't even like walking with me..they were off to the clothes or music section until we were done, much less ride in the damn grocery cart.

CTBB was a well behaved little boy, but I was embarassed by him for 2 reasons: horrible table manners and he was a very fat child. I feel guilty about the fat thing but there it is. Now that he's an adult he doesn't embarrass me at all. He actually has really wierd food issues from having been an obese child.

I do not differentiate between how I discipline between my BD and my 2 SS. I treat all the children like they are my own. My 2 SS are embroiled in extreme sibling rivalry because the BM and BD each have a favorite (BM favors SS1 and BD favors SS2). This has caused great strife in my household (yes, my DH has custody of his two darlings) that I cannot begin to describe. What I find extremely funny is that both of the skids have told their BM and BD that I am more fair than they are. This is because I do not allow participate in unequal treatment between any of the children. If child #1(for example BD) wants a special treat and I am unable to get the same item for all three of the children, child #1 does not get a special treat.

The same goes for discipline. If something gets broken in our home and I do not catch the individual in the act (2 SS often finger point at each other and lie about each other's behavior), everyone gets punished. Because I am consistent and treat each child the same as all the other children, I seem to have alot less behavior problems that the BD and BM do. It should be noted at this point of my life that my BD is off at college so getting to bottom of things is much simplier.

I remember everytime entering a "big box" hardware store the announcement would come on over the PA system advising parents to keep track of their young ones for safety's sake. It was becoming a running gag. Due to the fact that GG's kids are absolutely chimps on crack. They would climb the shelving (they're all oversized, overtall and overweight) and then chase each other around the store, knocking over displays and running into people!!

It was very embarrasing and GG as an UBER guilty daddy couldn't care less. He was even told by an elderly lady in a LAUNDROMAT once that Prince Hygiene (SS at the time stb 6) was too loud!!! You have to be PRETTY NOISY to be loud in a laundromat!!! GG's reaction was to tell the elderly lady to "F off" and mind her own business! ALWAYS coming to the defense of his ill-bred spawn!!

P.S.

Eating out was WAAAAAY worse. I was continuously embarrassed as hate stares were being thrown my way at the local Applebees. The other patrons wanted to run us out on a rail. GG's kids would block the aisles, whine about the food not coming, make constant menu changes then pick at the food and waste it once they got it; burst out into racous ear splitting laughter, shoot chocolate milk through straws up their nose, climb on top of the table, crawl underneath it, turn around kneeling on the seats to stare at the patrons behind us, unwilling to go the restroom without GG, made a huge mess, etc. etc

But GG was oblivous to them as he's a "professional wrestler" type and not afraid of anyone else who might have a problem with his "angels."

I made a vow to never eat out in public again with them. The last time was at Prince Hygiene's sixth birthday at a local "kid-friendly" ice cream and diner chain. GG was pissed at me for being "unfriendly" as Prince Hygiene proceeded to do all of the above that he and his siblings did at Applebees. (hint: notice i used the word "friendly" twice eluding to the name of said restaurant chain)

Fortunately all three have PASed out. (SS15, SD13 and SS stb 9)

hahaha...love it.....ILL BRED SPAWN!!!!

Wait till I tell my SIL this...she hates her brothers kids too...wont let her children have anything to do with them anymore...

My Bio kids were terrible when I used to go shopping - thank god they are now older....they say sugar can send them wild along with all the flurescent lighting and too many things to look at....supposedly over heats their brain....???

so....in answer to your question re how to make them stay with you.....
My mother taught me to say to them....'you have to not let your mommy out of your sight...cos if you cant see me, then your lost and a naughty man or woman may steal you and put you into a big bag and take you away...and youll not see me ever again....so dont leave my side and keep following me...."

it works....I could just stroll around and the kids would run after me....mind you over the PA system I would hear how there was a little girl/boy lost....so I knew it was mine and would just leave them there....at least I knew where they were...

AND I DID GET ONE OF THOSE LEADS FOR MY ELDEST....great idea....until they learn how to undo the wrist band....then I was wondering around with the lead attached to the cart but no child???? service desk had him...I would then ask if they could hold him for another 5 mins why i finish my shopping - and they did.....

This stuff happens to biological mothers all the time.

My son had a habit of having fits in the car. Once we were on the way to a movie he really wanted to see. He wouldn't stop his whining and having a fit, so I told him if he didn't stop we weren't going to the movie. He didn't believe me, so the next time he whined and had a fit, I turned the car around and we went home. He really wailed when the car turned around, but I told him I meant what I said. If he wanted to see the movie, he would have to stop having a fit when I told him to calm down. He eventually got to see the movie, but he minded much better.

Another time my son had a screaming fit in a store because I told him no to getting a toy. I immediately took him - screaming and crying with the whole store watching me - to the bathroom and let him know that this was not acceptable behavior. Because this was years ago, I spanked him twice on his thigh (not the butt)and told him I loved him and hugged him, but he was not going to scream and cry in a store when he didn't get his way. I had other parents watching me the whole time, and one woman "spied" on me in the bathroom to make sure I didn't "beat" my kid.

I know you can't spank this child, but still if she knows there are immediate consequences for her bad behavior she will stop. Tell her if she doesn't throw fits in the store, she will get a box of animal crackers - or some other small treat. If she still throws a fit, be prepared to leave the cart in the grocery store isle (even if it is full of food), and leave the store immediately! The same if she walks away from the cart and won't mind.

You will need to go to the store with the mindset that something WILL happen, but you will be prepared for it. Immediate consequences is what works. Threatening her over and over again will not work, she will blow you off.

You don't have to get mad, or act mean, just DO IT IMMEDIATELY! It is the consequence that works, not the anger, empty threats or yelling,etc....

Welcome to the world of parenthood (and stepparenthood) - it is a real roller-coaster ride at times, but there are ways to navigate it. I am so thankful for those other moms who helped me learn to deal with my son, and now it includes those people here at StepTalk who are helping me deal with my Skids.

My bio kids do the whole walking away crap. Here's how I handle that. They are 10, 9 and 7 WAY to big to be caught dead in the baby seat.

They get three strikes, meaning two warnings and third strike.....ya a** is in the baby seat. I can't lift them so ds15 has to do it, but, they hear me counting down numbers and they usually stick by my side after Strike #1!

Yes, I do feel emmarassed to be with SS alot of the times. He burps loudly, is too loud and crazy, the way he dresses, he never washes his clothes and therefore he never has anything to wear. I took him to a nice store so that he could buy somethings for his dad for Christmas...he has NOT washed him clothes in a VERY lomg time. He wore satin shorts (it was windy and freezing) a dirty, spotted tshirt, A weird stocking cap with a brim (just wierd looking)and hi-tops tied loosly. I told him to put on some pants and a jacket. He said that he didn't have anything clean that they were all dirty. I told him to at least put on a jacket and he grabbed this thin hoody and put it on. We were going to some nice stored along wiht the regular ones and it was so emmbarassing going in there with him. I usuall y tell him he isn't going anywhere looking like that when it is just the 2 of us, but that night I was in a hurry, running late b/c he got into trouble for not cleaning his room and that was the only night I could do it. Wow! He just needs to dress decent. Appropriately. Christmas when he opens presents is another thing! It was bad when he was younger (he has gotten better). He would TEAR into the present (roughly), look at it,toss it onto the floor, grab another present real fast and repeat until there were no more. Then say is that all and complain the whole time the rest of the family was opening ther presents that he was bored and didn't have antthing to open, so DH would give SS HIS presents to open. That used to PISS me off!!!

JoJo68 I agree!!!!

3. Loud obnoxious behavior (running, yelling, screeching) SS is a teenager and does this continually!!!!

My SKIDS definitely embarrass me (actually, DH gets embarrassed, too!) when we took them out shopping with us...which is why we no longer do it! They were always loud and annoying and nosy (would ask other people why they were buying what they were buying!), they had to touch everything on the shelves, and they'd fight, too! Not to mention that little miss princess (SD8) would ALWAYS want a toy! We can't take them anywhere, yet they get all mad when we do things with our BS, who's 4 but much better behaved than his 8 and 10-yr-old step siblings! Even just having dinner at home is an embarrassment - they have no table manners whatsoever! UGH, it's disgusting! Today, I'm stuck at home with a cough/cold while they're all at Grandma's house for her annual Christmas Eve party, but do I care? NOT ONE BIT At least I'll be spared the embarrassment of SD8 incessantly asking when she's going to get her presents, and SS10 eating like a dog!