Do we think we represent the majority of step parents, or we are the miserable minorities?
Forums:
Yesterday, my girlfriend and I had a conversation regarding life in general. She said people came on the internet to vent and only the minority of the miserable people liked to do that.
She said most of the step families are doing all right. I wonder if she is telling the truth here.
I've been a member on this site for a little over six months I think, I honestly believe we (steptalk.org members) are the great representation of the American step families, we are definitely NOT the minority losers who are crying for attention.
What do you think?
I doubt we are the minority.
I doubt we are the minority. The step family situation is just too complicated and unreal to be running smooth for the majority IMO. the rest just haven't found ST yet.
I doubt we are the minority.
I doubt we are the minority. The step family situation is just too complicated and unreal to be running smooth for the majority IMO. the rest just haven't found ST yet.
I doubt we are the minority.
I doubt we are the minority. The step family situation is just too complicated and unreal to be running smooth for the majority IMO. the rest just haven't found ST yet.
Right. I believe it too.
Right. I believe it too.
I used to think I was all
I used to think I was all alone and that everyone else had it together. Not anymore.
I totally agree with you. I
I totally agree with you.
I pretend I am a caring, kind, concerning step mom who loves the step daughter. well, I do love her, but I don't love her as much as my own bio son. Quite frankly, I won't feel I'd even miss her if she is completely out of my life.
I will never admit it in public other than this website. People will consider me as a woman who eats children for breakfast if I am completely honest with my true feelings.
Problem is I fake it too much and too long, I am now completely miserable in my own house, in front of my own husband. I am just utterly tired.
One interesting thing I
One interesting thing I notice is that when I talk to my girlfriends, they always pretend their marriages are perfect. But as soon as I start the conversation about my miserable step parenting life, they started sharing about theirs. I think people are just embarrassed to admit that they are not happy in the marriages they chose.
It is not like other step parents have magic power to make all the problems and negative feelings go away..
well, before I got married,
well, before I got married, DH and I talked about long term finacial planning, 401K, prenup, extensively. He told me I don't have to love his kid, and he will take a bullet for me, blah blah.
After we got married, things changed. I don't know when, it just changed. But he would complain that I have changed. Maybe we both changed, who knows?
I am open with everyone and
I am open with everyone and there are more that do not like being a step parent than those that do. I have never come across anyone that likes the situation....
I was on another support site
I was on another support site where women said anybody who married a dad are somewhat settled. Well, her words are not necessarily music to my ears, but I think her words have some truth to it.
I thought I married for love, I knew from day one that I had to take on his baggage so sure, I settled. I would be lying if I say that I CHOSE the situation.
I chose a man I loved, but I did not choose to be a step mother. No, never.
No, we cannot possibly be the
No, we cannot possibly be the minority. Usual statistics are about 50% divorce rate for first marriages. 67@ divorce rate for 2nd marriages. 73% divorce rate for 3rd marriages. One of the biggest reasons for divorces in 2nd and 3rd marriages are CHILDREN. Yes, CHILDREN.
This means, that NO, we are NOT the minority. It is just that most people have no clue about Steptalk, aren't internet savy enough, have enough on their plates and were told THEY were wrong by crazy psychologists, etc...
You can do some research online and although the numbers might change a bit, the issue is the same. Higher divorce rates on 2nd and 3rd marriages. Biggest source of conflict in 2nd and 3rd marriages always related to debt/money/children...and well, we all know debt/money are what many will say because it is politically incorrect to call it CHILDREN and because most of the people who actually HAVE the children, ie. in our case the husband , will NEVER claim that the CHILDREN caused the divorce, but will instead say that the 2nd or 3rd wife was MONEY hungry and they had MONEY problems...lol
I doubt we are the minority,
I doubt we are the minority, but I believe that there is a lot of unspoken pain out there.We are the ones admitting our struggles and having a voice instead of suffering in silence....If this is really helpful or not is the question.In my individual case I feel so understood by other peoples stories and don't feel like a freak anymore feeling what I feel.At the same time I am not prepared to bottle my emotions up anymore and this causes more fights with SO about princess SD 8.And to be honest I don't know where this will lead to.At least SO has suggested councelling now.
I think as others say we just
I think as others say we just hide how bad things are - I don't tell people what i really think about SS15 for fear of what they will think - I am a nice person but hate my SS15. He has made my life a miserable mess where as time goes on I think more and more about leaving. Hubby and i have not had sex in 18 months because everytime I look at him I see nothing but disapointment at his inability to deal with his asshole child. I don't think we are at all in the minority.
there is not one good thing
there is not one good thing in this universe about being a step parent. if you can come up with one to share, please do. I find not even one single solitary thing about it to like.