This is ludicrous. So basically the counselor is telling your DH that he should be a crappy parent because BM is and that's what the skid is used to?!?!? She ought to be glad skid is allowed to use it at your house at all, as I'm sure DH didn't have any say in whether she got those things or not. Ugh....stupid BMs (and idiot counselors!!!)

SD13 is not allowed to bring her phone when she visits with fiance. Its the source of too many battles and it controls her life. So we eliminate the problem entirely by not letting her bring it.

its hilarious when she asks to go home early so she can play on it. we of course dont let her and she pouts and says we are mean. she denies she has an addiction to it but clearly she does by acting like this AND by the fact that she carries it in her hands everywhere. literally. she never puts it down. even to pee.

I heard a lot about therapists and counselors when my FDH's oldest girl was in therapy after a suicide attempt. I even was in contact in a way with the counselor via email and phone message telling her what I was seeing as technically an outsider. Interestingly she was very complimentary of me to my FDH when he went to the appts with his daughter and said I was a very smart woman. I saw near the end that the counselor became a problem in that the kid would use her against us. "I'll tell so and so what you said or did." Uh, okay? I told her that a few times. I told this counselor is there to make suggestions and for her to talk to. She doesnt make ANY true decisions here for either FDH or me. Sorry, doesn't work that way. FSD20 shut up after that especially when I told her she wasn't the only one talking to her counselor, so was I. She was stunned.

The counselor has zero right to make such a decision on cell phone usage. Electronics are a privilege not a right and this counselor is an idiot.

Counselor for FSD20 complained to FDH that he was too demanding when he insisted his daughter get a minimum B average or she wouldnt get her cell phone back. Excuse me?

If I was your DH and I heard that.... I would have whipped out the cell phone, put an earbud in one ear for music, then started texting....

Ugh, that is really irritating.

the problem we have with SD's counselor is that (contrary to the terms of the parenting plan) the counselor was chosen solely by BM and my fiance had no say. as a result, BM "guides" what she thinks the counselor should be discussing with SD which is basically "you and your behavior are not the problem but your dad is". we made a request for the records, which we received, but conveniently any commentary by BM made during a session with the child was redacted. we argued that we have a right to knoiw what is said during an appointment of the minor child. the counselor said the BM's commments are protected. fiance's lawyer said we can get the full records through formal subpoena which will happen, and i cant wait because those comments will prove that the counseling is not helping because its not addressing the real issues.

based on my experience above, i think the only counseling that can work is where both parents are involved and the counselor is completely netural with the child's needs put first - not the needs of the parent who is trying to get custody or remove custody.

This is easily solved by flushing the phone down the toilet. My Skid is not allowed to have his phone on when he visits his mom and I and he is an adult. He pushed this with us once when he was in his teens and I did throw his phone in the toilet.

My house my rules.