BM's dont seem to get we're married, So SMs what things can we do to help them & skids to realise it?
I think that one of the reasons we have so much trouble with BM's and Skids is because they cant accept their BD and EXdh have moved on and are involved in a new permanant relationship. They still think in their heads ; 'if i be really bad and interfere, i might just scare her away and things can get back to normal'
That being said, I feel that Us as the SM's should do more to make it more noticeable to these unstable persons, that their is a marriage or a significant relationship going on....and we are locked in like glue together.
I think ill order a plaque for the front door which says Mr and Mrs blah and blah liks
Ive made sure the white pages entry has us together in it....STill cant get the ex bitch away from being associated with DH name.
Ill get xmas cards printed with our names of mr and mrs on them,
and Ill get some little address stickers with our names on them....
HAS ANYONE GOT ANY OTHER IDEAS AS TO HOW TO MAKE A MARRIAGE STATEMENT FOR THE WEIDO'S TO READ IN A HOPE THEY MIGHT FINALLY REALISE THAT YES WE ARE TOGETHER, MARRIED and YES WE HAVE ALREADY STARTED A LIFE TOGETHER....EITHER LIKE IT OR LUMP IT....BUT YOU WONT CHANGE IT.
Be interested in your views on this
You can't make anyone believe
You can't make anyone believe something they don't want to believe.
Besides, many of these BMs WERE in a "permanent" relationship or had a SO that ended. Really, there is no such thing.
I, personally, don't give a hoot if BM "accepts" that DH and I are married. What she believes doesn't matter to me AT ALL.
When I got together with my
When I got together with my DH, BM was convinced it wasn't a serious relationship, and for all I know still thinks that, though we have been together for 9 years and married for 2.
Really, don't put energy into trying to change her stupid ideas - why the hell should you care what the daft bint thinks - if she's anything like our BM she hasn't got all her paddles in the water, and whatever you do or say isn't going to make any difference. Just get on with your life, because unlike her, you have one.
LEt it go, she will never get
LEt it go, she will never get it and you are causing yourself too much grief.
The wedding bands on our
The wedding bands on our fingers show it all.
And I couldn't care less what BM thinks or how she feels.
My DH swore to all who would listen that he would never get married again - and after our first date, he told these same friends - "I think I've found the woman I'd marry, if she'll ever change her mind about marriage." That was three years ago.
Haven't read the comments,
Haven't read the comments, but I'd let this one go...You're putting too much emotion behind it, and honestly, who cares what she thinks? I couldn't tell you what BM thinks, believes, accepts, rejects, etc...She's not a part of my thinking process...She's a non-factor...
AND she's never done anything disrespectful to DH and our union as DH manages her very well, so if she's ever tried to do anything sideways, he's squashed it...
Just let it go...
I don't care what Crazy BM
I don't care what Crazy BM thinks about our relationship. I don't give a damn about her opinion of me. I refuse to give her the power to make my home a stressed/anger filled place.
^^^^^^Totally agree!!!!
^^^^^^Totally agree!!!!
There you go....thats
There you go....thats it....if the Skids have a good relationship with the SM it can be seen as a betraying the BM. I expect that the psycho bitch knows the way the skids think and plays this card well.
Im hurt that the skids repeatadly try to drive a wedge between me and DH...on a daily basis
I remember when my mother remarried...I was an adult at the time....seeing mail address to her and her new husband made me realize that they really are starting a new life together now...and it was one I supported....that mothers decisions from now on would be made in consultation with her new husband.
I suspect that DH has told his skids similiar to what your DH told them, but they dont listen to him...they are so far up the bum of their mothers they cant see sideways....
Okay, this is what I would
Okay, this is what I would say to one of my friends:
Dude, really? You think a few Mr. and Mrs. references are going to make a difference? Why waste the money? Why waste the time? Why wast your brain's effort just thinking about what SHE thinks? You could wave your marriage certificate in her face till the end of time and it wouldn't make a difference. Let it go and move on. She obviously can't, but that doesn't mean that you have to be stuck trying to help her get it. You are not her guide to The World's Most Obvious Facts. If she's in denial, oh well, tough titty.
I agree I don't care what bm
I agree I don't care what bm thinks or anything she is not in my thought process. She can say or believe what ever she wants but i know and anyone that knows us knows the truth. Don't let her have that kind of power. If you do then she wins.
I hate that in court they
I hate that in court they call her "Mrs." She has not used the name in years and even told my SS during a phone call before what her name is just because she felt like it. I understand that the court caption can't be changed, but they can at least refer to her as "Ms." and not "Mrs."
hahah I saw this ridiculous
hahah I saw this ridiculous movie on LMN where this couple was divorced...dad was remarried and his wife was pregnant. SD was sent to live with dad because she was out of control...and she couldn't stand the sight of her pregnant SM. So after SM kept trying and trying and SD couldn't seem to get that her parents weren't getting back together...SM came up with a funeral for her SD's parents marriage - to lay it to rest? WTF. It was a funeral service for divorce? Weird...she was like 17...was that really necessary?? Maybe you could do that? hahahah
OMg....I find that so
OMg....I find that so funny...
Maybe not a funeral but....I would like to trash everything in this house that represents his past marriage....and I want to move out of this matrimonal house that DH once shared with ex bitch and skids, I feel ive been forced to live here...I keep finding little memoirs of her and the previous happy life, and the skids have their stuff scattered everywhere....all my things are still in storage
I keep telling my DH that he needs to just move on and let go of the past....Stand up to the bitch and make a statement by moving away from this neighborhood with you new wife. I think we could start a nice fresh life together and appear somewhat more aligned rather than me just being some slag who moved into his ex wives house....well thats what the BM suggest I am.
Im nothing but a real inconvenience to her once normal lifestyle....no husband required but she had his wallet wen ever she called for money...now its harder to get anything from him....
I agree that BM will never
I agree that BM will never get it. Just last week, she told me that SS and my DD will always be "brother and sister" (step anyway) even if my marriage doesn't last. Then she told me she would never take DH back if we got divorced and started stating the reasons why. I came to DH and said "Does BM know something I don't know bc there's a whole lot of talk about us splitting up coming from her" lol
My SD12 when she was younger
My SD12 when she was younger would say "when daddy divorces you..."This was coming from the child that her BM PAS'd as soon as I entered the relationship. BM does whatever she can to make my marriage to her ex as insignificant. BM goes to the point to say that my DH is still carrying a "torch" for her...LOL
My DH's response to BM is,
1. When BM asks about wanting something his response is I'll talk with my wife and I'll get back to you.
2. DH and I wear our wedding bands.
3. If DH goes to court, I am their to support him.
4. DH shows me affection with hugs and innocent kisses, holds my hand in front of BM and skids.
5. Says I love you, gives me a kiss when we are out and he has to leave to go somewhere. (BM and skids are there or not there)
These are things he normally does whether people are around or not.
There isn't anything we can do to convince BM's anything. I do think that consistancy between my DH and I will eventually tire her. Because the one thing BM's don't have is boundaries.