I am working on a plan to get me and my things out of here and away from him asap. For now I have to deal with him only.
He sent his children away after this incident and begged me to come back to him. My answer was no but my sister put me out of her place simply because he was at the house when I came to pack up my things. She made and makes no attempt to understand what was going on that day.
I have a plan in place I am just waiting for everything to fall into place.

The mistake that I have made here was giving my all to people who took me for granted. That will not ever happen again. I love who I am and knowing that I am capable of and deserve so much more.
While I want nothing more to do with him or his children I am saddened to know that another generation of messed up children have been let loose on society. I am also saddened by the fact that I have allowed this to go on for so long without doing anything about it.
My heart is broken and I can accept that. What I am having a hard time accepting is that these people can be so cruel and ugly to me. All I did was try to show them that everyone is not like the bm/ex-wife.
I may have hurt their feelings along the way but I haven't ever lied to them. The funny thing is that they do not talk to me the way they talk to their BPs. I really didn't see this coming and his excuse for lying to the police on me is because I called them first. I called the police to help myself not to hurt them.

He has already sent his children away which is no small victory for anyone. unfortunately for me there is nowhere to go. I still have to find a good home for my dog which is killing me. I know that at this point it is petty for me to worry about material things but I just cannot lose everything all at once starting over with nothing. This would be just too much for me right now. I am already losing my home due to a pending eviction because of him.
Due to me having ptsd ( post traumatic stress disorder ) I love my things because they do not hurt me, people do.
In 2008 I sent his children away from me where they would be safe and I spent four days in a mental institution where I was diagnosed. I asked for help then too. They would not release me until he came out and spoke with the Dr.. The people that I sent his children to are witnesses to the fact that I would send his children away rather than hurt them. I am not a veteran who sees everyone as a threat. My condition is due to rape and abuse by males. My rage is triggered by males and males alone.
He has attempted to use my disorder against me. Even the cop told him that he should use this against me in court. I am still being victimized in my own back yard.
My court date is tomorrow and I am not going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

Thank you and my exit plan has been made. I am waiting for everything to fall into place. I am trying to be patient.
Funny thing is I told him that I would rather go to jail than spend anymore time living under the same roof as him. This is not true of course, the going to jail part.
In all my years of having suffered with ptsd, on meds or not, I would not ever harm a child. I have not ever wanted to see a child as messed up as me.
I cannot wait to get my get out of hell card and I believe that it is coming but going to jail would ruin the rest of my life and I just cannot have that. I am responsible for my future because I have no one to look out for me in my old age. I cannot bear children.
Quite frankly I am surprised that I am not suicidal. I think that it is because I know in my heart that I haven't done anything wrong.
I do have my back covered too. I can prove that he and his children are liars even if I have to have folks subpoenad ( spelling ? )

I will leave the vengeance for God to serve him because our Father can serve it so much colder than I can.
The children are gone to stay with their ex-crack smoking, now an alcholic mother. She pulls knives on her boyfriend in front of the children and well....
It is by the grace of God that I was not arrested on that fateful day which lets me know that God is watching out for me.
Strangely enough I do not feel scorned and there is some peace that lives in me. What I do feel is hate for this male and his offspring ( May God forgive me )because they attempted to take everything from me. They wanted me to sit in a jail cell while they lived and enjoyed the fruits of my hard labor. I do know that in time they will be made to pay for their sins and I am not sorry about that because no harm will ever come to them by my hand. I have healing to do and a life to start over without them and I am ready for that. I believe that it is because I believe in God that I am already saved.

My family will only help me by storing my things. Basically they want nothing to do with me because of him. I am getting my things out so that he cannot sell them or give them away.
I will however try to find a lawyer who works on cases like mine pro-bono, although if he is a male I will have trust issues that he is doing right by me.
One of the biggest problems for me is that because of my race and where I live some people think that I am uneducated. It is going to be a pleasure to prove them wrong. These idiots think that because I have ptsd and depression that I am unable to control myself. They want to believe that I am crazy. The issue here is that my kind of ptsd requires a trigger and I can prove it. I haven't been on meds in years and I have no criminal record. I am a good girl and I am going to stay that way.
Thank you so much for that advice because I had not thought of it.

Leaving is easier said than done right now but it is great advice. I am working on it. My case goes to court tomorrow and I will know more about what I can and cannot do based on what the judge has to say. I am going to plead not guilty and see if a trial will be held.
The cop took pics after the fact which still does not prove who started it. It only proves that a scuffle occured. It also doesn't prove that this idiot and his son were inside when everything happened. I believe that I could win my own case without the help of a lawyer should it come to a trial. And as soon as I win my case I am going after the cop. Should the youngest son be questioned about what happend that day i believe that he will win my case based on the fact that he will end up saying that they had to run inside after they heard the girl yelling. the cop refused to listen to me and told me that I attacked the child. Aren't they supposed to be objective?

Many thanks for your condolences based on my situation. Lol, no you can't fix stupid and is it amazing that some people are allowed to procreate.
I haven't ever claimed to be perfect and when the children got on my nerves I would yell sometimes, go in my room and shut the door sometimes, or fall into a depression where I only came out of my room to go potty.
On the day in question BD called the children out of the room and said to me " My kids don't like you anyway ". Of course the children remained silent and I replied that " I don't like your lazy disrespectful children either ". there that proves that I am not perfect and this is the truth. It does not mean that I attacked a child. They had meetings behind my back which BD would tell me about. How do I know that this was not a conspiracy to get rid of me?
There have been times when I felt that I cannot wait to die. On Aug 29, 2008 I was preparing to take my own life. You know I was 39 years old when my mother told me that she was sorry that she wasn't there for me. It helped to send me into a tailspin but.....
This little girl and I had so much in common with the way that our mother's treated us. Why would I want to hurt her? Even her grandmother said that this girl was a mean baby. Who did she have to be mean to? She was an only child up until I met her father. I am devastated.