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99 problems but a BM aint 1...

BuriedBarelyAlive's picture

(For those who dont know, my subject is a slightly revised title to a popular Jay Z song that I find quite fitting for my life these days.)

With that being said I really dont even know where to begin, I imagine it will take several posts to really get it all out so for this first one I think the best thing to do is just give a little background on my family without trying to discuss any actual problems.

I am 29, in my 2nd marriage, mother to 3, SM to 3 and even step-grandma to 1. I was about 2 years divorced when I met my DH, the older brother of my room-mate at the time. He had lost his childrens BM a year prior to a unfortunate heart condition and was left with a 1 year old girl, 4 year old boy and 13 year old girl. All that considered we seemed to blend pretty well. His oldest daughter was really open to the whole thing, I think mainly due to needing more female presence in her life. The younger kids, mine included were like perfect lil pairs, our girls being only 8 months apart and they boys just 11 months apart. I had just recently (regretfully) agreed to 50/50 custody with my ex and was left with a lot of alone time which help me build a relationship with my SK's. My DH did surprisingly well with my kids also, especially considering he only had half the time.

So eventually we moved in together, things went quite smoothly, no major issues or problems. We got married with much the same result, at first...then I got pregnant. (This is where it all seems to fall apart) Now my oldest, DS had slowly been becoming increasingly more challenging for me and it didnt take long for me to see that he was in need of some therapy. My husband and I went and got it started, sharing the kids 50/50 with their BF meant that I also had to have his consent for treatment though. And quite disturbingly he absolutely REFUSED. I guess you could say it was all down-hill from this point on.

My pregnancy continued and I got bigger, as did the issues with my DS. By this point we were unable to go even a day without a huge melt-down, usually for no obvious or logical reason. He was also having more and more problems at school. The custody agreement was split week, resulting in exchanges every 2 or 3 days and despite an agreement to switch to full weeks after the kids birthdays their BF now refused.

Now I have the baby, and my kids SM (I should probably mention ethat for about 2 years now we have had a kinda great relationship, almost like friends really) looses her damn mind. She cant handle the fact that I had another child while she still has none and 2 weeks after I have the baby they serve me with papers requesting they have full legal and physical custody of the kids. They then spend the next 8 months being unnecessarily difficult about any and everything possible (with 3 exchanges a week they had plenty of opportunities and took all of them).