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i am feeling quite elated. Dh has no one to talk but to ds. I feel evil.

enuf's picture

My dh is 70 and has continuously rejected me over periods of time during our marriage solely because according to his words "he has to protect his ds 47 against me." Over the years has filed divorce twice because he felt he needed to protect his ds against me. So now I have disengaged completely from my dh as a result of his treatment of me during my vacation. I having been staying in the house packing my stuff and I have scheduled a flight to be out of here on January 7th as my gs is having his birthday on January 4th.

I am having my car shipped to Arizona, and plan to ship some off my belongings and store the rest.

So while I am upstairs this morning, my dh rushes out of the house at 8:00am, and I remembered that my ss has a traffic violation that he has to go to court for today. My dh is going with him, probably to pay the fine. Later, this evening my ss calls my dh just to chat again, and I hear my dh say that his phone is dying which is a blatant lie as he has his charger right next to him in the office.

The morning ritual of sitting having coffee together in which dh would spout his opinions about world events sometimes for hours has ended. My dh is a talker and now he has no one but to his ds who is a high school dropout to talk too, not much conversation can go on between them, as my ss usually grunts out answers.

I left for the evening yesterday and got home at 11:00 pm and tonight I got home at 10:00 pm. It is great not having to be accountable for where you have been. As I walked in the door my dh is just watching t.v looking quite miserable. I smiled and went upstairs.

Boy am I feeling evil today and my health has never been better, I finally weaned myself off the anxiety pills and antidepressant pills I had to take to tolerate living with him and dealing with his ds. My diabetes blood sugar is lower than it has ever been and well within the normal range. Karma is a b**tch and sometimes you get what you ask for. As for me I am feeling exceptionally well and happy!

Thank you for all your feedback, it is greatly appreciated. It helped crawl out of the hole I was in.

sandye21's picture

An old saying: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Fits. You might think you are evil now but a year from now you will think you were smart. Be kind to yourself and very careful. He might try to convince you to stay before January 7th as he will suddenly realize that you might be entitled to alimony. You might be tempted to have second thoughts because what you are doing is different and scary. Stay firm with your plans. The world awaits!

Have you made that appointment with a lawyer yet?

hereiam's picture

Good for you! I don't know how you have put up with him and the situation for so long.

ctnmom's picture

I am so, so happy for you. Your DH is in for a rude awakening. I love my kids, but my DH is my companion. A concept that escapes your DH. Lets just hope he doesn't sucker some other lovely lady into his toxic soup of dysfunction that is his relationship with his middle aged man child. :O Really, good for you, your post made my day! Biggrin

enuf's picture

Sueu2 I was shocked when I opened the url that you posted. Everyone, except the one about the children fit all the characteristics I have been experiencing. Wow, and eye opener for me. Abuse comes in many forms. I am longer going to be experiencing the dis-function triangle I was living in because I am going to be gone. They both deserve one another for company. Let my dh live the rest of his life kissing his son's a*s. I am so out of it.

enuf's picture

I am overly educated for most jobs. I was extremely idealistic and went to school not to find a career, I had a thirst for knowledge. I have two Bachelor's, Masters, and I completed my Ph.d exams. My academic field was Political Theory.

The academic world can be extremely unrealistic. I was living my life behind a computer, books and within my mind. Not a way to live. When I realized that I no longer wanted to live that way. I stopped school and chose not to complete my dissertations. I donated my books.

Rags's picture

So, re-engage. Contact your Uni, get hold of your old doctoral discertation pannel, and see about finishing it. Then consult, be an advocate for those struggling with what you have struggled with. Leverage your extensive education and intellect to keep driving your Fresh Start. No need to live behind a computer or in books when you can apply all of that ability to help yourself and others.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

Rags's picture

Applause!!!! Your blood glucose comment peaked my interest. I am a T-1 diabetic and have been for 35 years ... as of this week actually. My Dx anniversary is in the next few days.

Just make sure you take care of yourself. Since DH and his toxic spawn are interested only in themselves you are going to have to focus on you.

Test regularly, keep an eye on what you are eating, move as much as you can, and you will continue to feel better and better. As you have shown, that is the best revenge and the best tool for being able to deal with the toxic people in your life.

I recently read a short article on the philosophy of The Fresh Start mentality. I have long referred to this as the Do-Over. Good for you for taking your Fresh Start and running with it. If you start to slow down in your progress to happiness... take another Fresh Start, step up for your do-over and keep on going.

Take care of you.

Sincerely,