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anyone here have experience with kids on/off ADHD medication?

sammantha7's picture

So, it had been a few months since we moved out of the state my boyfriend's son lives in. Previously when he would come to visit he was totally zombified on Strattera, an ADHD medication his mother gives him. He came up with my boyfriend's mom for Christmas break and was totally different--hyper, impulsive, rude and twitching. BF tried to say it was just excitement to see us but come to find out from Granny his mom didn't send any of his meds for the trip...which she said his mom uses to "calm him down." Now to me this seems medically reckless to take a child off a powerful drug without a doctor's supervision...Cold turkey. And also have to wonder if it was malintent on his mother's part since she had to know he would be going thru withdraws and out of control...she is pretty much a miserable person and I would not put it past her to try and sabotage any/all of us enjoying the visit. BF is very passive and barely communicates with his sons mom. It generally amounts to lies, manipulation and threats. And she has full custody. I'm not really sure if I'm asking anything. The whole situation is messed up and sad and I am pretty much a frustrated by-stander. It just seems like total BS and the worst part is having to constantly worry what his son is going to do around our 18 month old we have together when his 11 year old is visiting...on or off his meds always in some kind of chemical upheaval. And his dad and grandma refuse to address the proverbial elephant in the room. Basically I just wanted to take my baby & run.

Comments

HungryEyes's picture

"He came up with my boyfriend's mom for Christmas break and was totally different--hyper, impulsive, rude and twitching."

That's ADHD described perfectly. Oh how I love people who claim we moms medicate our children just for fun or to control them. Live with a child of ADHD for a week unmedicated is what I always say. My son suffers from ADHD and he's been on meds for a few years. He doesn't actually have any behavioral issues - he just could not learn at school. He would not retain knowledge of anything.

When he's off his meds, he can be very impulsive and seems to have a hard time controlling himself - jumping, being loud, socially awkward. I would think it would make him very sick to just take him off cold turkey. Plus, my son has a hard time socially and personally when off his meds. It would be hard to go one day without them for both of us. Any parent with a child with ADHD knows this. Shame on her.

B22S22's picture

Thank you!!!!

Sorry, but I cringe when I hear parents (those who do NOT have ADD/ADHD children) accuse me of "drugging" my kid just to make it easy on me.

My former MIL actually threatened to take me to court (yeah, whatever) to stop me from putting DS on any kind of ADD meds. But then, she didn't have to deal with him on a daily basis -- constantly forgetting, socially awkward because he was always jumping, twitching, shouting out, bad grades because he retained nothing, etc. And it was affecting him emotionally, socially.

It really is one of those situations where you can't possibly know until you've lived it.

sammantha7's picture

As a parent I think we always have to make decisions about what we think is right or wrong, so not judging you or anyone for using these kind of meds. Its the context, taking him off just for his visit and likely knowing the results. And imagine he went right back on them when he got home to make him easier to control for her. Seems dangerous and his son seemed very uncomfortable in general. Plus it created anarchy in my home. Not cool.

B22S22's picture

I never got the impression you were judging me Wink
Was just responding to Hungry's statements.

B22S22's picture

My son has been on Vyvanse for a couple of years, and another one (can't remember the name) for a couple years prior to that.

Putting him on the meds was a long drawn-out process per my request -- I wanted him started at the lowest dose possible, then work up to find the RIGHT dosage. Some of these meds are weight based, some are not. I did not want the "zombie effect".

And you are correct about abruptly halting the med -- it can be dangerous (read up on it).

Maybe having your BF read about the med, uses, side effects might help him be more informed?

sammantha7's picture

I tried to educate his dad about the meds. Read up on this Strattera pretty extensively. He agrees it was a bad decision to take him off it abrubtly and said he understood my frustration. But that was about it. I think he feels powerless to change anything his son's mother does. And doesn't want any more of a war than there already has been for the past 11 years of this boy's life. My brain feels fried when I try to fathom it...

sammantha7's picture

I can see that. Well put. I'll add his grandma is also kind of an enabler since she kept sneaking him caffeinated soda even after I told them to stop. Too much fuel on the fire.

B22S22's picture

I heard that... since technically most ADD/ADHD meds are stimulants.

One time my son sneaked some Mt Dew. WHEW! That was ONE LONG EVENING.

sammantha7's picture

Yeah. Imagine about 4 in one night. That's how many hidden empty cans I found. Think granny is trying to make it totally fun at the cost of my sanity. In any case, off the meds + soda = bad news

sammantha7's picture

Hmm. Wasn't aware of that caffeine effect. Probably the sugar then. Made me angry though as Granny was sabotaging my authority in my own house! Don't get me wrong. He is in his mother's control; that was some poor decisions on my BF's part when he was younger that left his son totally in her custody. I'm not trying to say it's right or wrong to do what you think is right for your child. But this boy's mother is a recovering drug addict and prescription drug abuser herself. Its shameful because she just takes these powerful meds so lightly and uses his son as a pawn in her evil mind games...or so it seems.

sammantha7's picture

Thanks for the comments. Guess it feels better just having vented & some agreement that its reckless to take a kid off his meds like that. It feels like I'm the only one with any common sense in this situation because everyone else is more comfortable being blind.

sammantha7's picture

I could understand if that's a doctors recommendation... But a responsible parent would give the other parent a heads up and it seems from the online persciption medication info that there are symptoms to carefully watch for when on or going off this drug.

And of course the mother would come up with some excuse. So its pointless to ask.

sammantha7's picture

I could understand if that's a doctors recommendation... But a responsible parent would give the other parent a heads up and it seems from the online persciption medication info that there are symptoms to carefully watch for when on or going off this drug.

And of course the mother would come up with some excuse. So its pointless to ask.

tryingmom's picture

That was our long weekend away with family. SS11 didn't have his Vyvance packed and was a horrible weekend. BM expects SS11 to remember all these meds (ADHD and asthma) to be packed and she never checks the bag. DH asked her if we need to start checking the bag before we leave her house as him being off meds for that long just messes him up, she told DH that SS11 is old enough to remember to pack them and be responsible. FFS, everyone BUT BM has to be responsible. She thinks that she knows better than the doctors when it comes ADHD and asthma. She has been investigated for medical neglect in the past, seems like we are headed that way again.

sammantha7's picture

Medically negligent sums it up. I feel for you. The woman you're dealing with sound frustrating. I would assume his sons mom is just being dumb but I have seen enough of her to know she is spiteful as well. Feel bad for their son. But honestly looking out for my younger sons best interest which I have to question, when a much larger child, who appears to be out of control and subtle signs of anger and defiance are growing and more outward when he was off his medication. It was kind of scary.