Flying for long distance visitation

So we live 12 hrs away from my sd. For the past 6yrs we have been driving to get her. Because we have to drive to get her we are not getting her for as much of the visitation as we would if she could fly. I wanted to wait till she got older to fly her out to us. So last summer my dh flew back home with her at the end of our visitation. That way she could see if she liked it. She loved it and was excited to fly to our house for spring break. She will be 12 at that point and would fly as an unaccompanied minor. We talked to bm about it and she is refusing to do it. All it says in the co is that we are responsible for paying for transportation costs (which we always have and we were paying for the whole plane ticket). Is there anything we can do? Thanks

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If the CO doesn't specify

If the CO doesn't specify that the kid can't fly, BM shouldn't be able to refuse to allow it.

My DD15 has been flying for visitation since she was 7. She LOVES it and her dad wasn't thrilled, but couldn't refuse since it wasn't written into our CO.

I'd talk with an attorney to be sure BM has no legal leg to stand on and then enforce visitation through the courts.

???

I believe monkey is jealous

I believe monkey is jealous because her skids are NOT 12 hours away

Ah gotcha....I was wondering

Ah gotcha....I was wondering if that was it.

Honestly, I wouldn't put my

Honestly, I wouldn't put my child on a plane alone. Is 12 old enough to handle a 3(ish) hour flight? Yeah, probably, unless there are behaviorial issues.
However, when we got custody of my SD, she flew to her mom's one weekend a month (pain in the ass) and she was 12-13 (ish) when she started.
Issues came up...creepy guy on the plane, weather issues that caused flight delays, getting stuck OVERNIGHT in an airport... So, as a mom, I wouldn't do it.
I would just have your DH fly with SD. If mom refuses, you can go to court, but that's an even bigger pain in the ass.

She does not have any

She does not have any behavioral issues. The flight is only hour to an hour and half. Her mom would be taking her to the gate and my dh would be picking her up at the gate so we wouldn't have to worry about weather issues. It's a straight flight so we wouldn't have to worry about her getting stuck anywhere. And we can pay for the stewardess to sit with her the entire time so no one will be bothering her. To have my dh fly with her we would have to buy him 2 roundtrip tickets. That is just not feasible.

Stewardesses do NOT sit with

Stewardesses do NOT sit with the children the entire time. You'll be *lucky* if they check on her more often than they do everyone else.
I'm not sure this is a fight you can win. You can take it to court. It can be reasonable to put the kid on the flight. It can also be reasonable for BM to be against it.
I know my SD STILL teases about her "frequent flier miles." Flying is second nature to her because she's done it so much. However, when she started flying to see her mom, she had already flown more times than I could count for vacations and family visits and such, so she was comfortable flying. It sounds like your SD has flown once.

Now, on the flip side, about a year ago, I put my 3 bios on a direct flight out of state to visit family. They were 11, 14, 17 at the time. There were no issues.

She'll be fine. And she

She'll be fine. And she doesn't need a flight attendant to sit with her. Give her an Ipod or a book and tell her not to talk to anyone she doesn't know other than the flight crew.

People are so worried about kids traveling alone these days and I honestly don't know why. My daughter was 7 when she started flying solo. Was I nervous at first? Sure! Did she have an occasional layover where she was stuck for a few hours in an airport alone? yeah, but she also had us on cell phone and wasn't afraid.

As long as the girl's been prepped as to what she needs to do and you feel she's responsible enough, there should be no issues with her flying alone.

^^this^^ my daughter was 9,

^^this^^ my daughter was 9, before we even had cell phones, flying direct less than 2 hrs. she knew how to handle herself. Her father, otoh, would barely let her call to tell me she arrived safely
it can be a good experience for them!!

My SD10 is 1700 miles away,

My SD10 is 1700 miles away, has flown with her older brother for years and the last two times alone. If there are no layovers and you pay for the unaccompanied minor it will be no problem. I don't know the legalities of making the SM agree, in our case the travel expense is divided equally and we have had no issues with SM...about this

Many airlines have

Many airlines have restrictions on when UM kids can fly to prevent them from being stranded overnight. And, if it's real UM flying, with a fee, an adult has to be with them until they board the plane, soooo, no risk of stranding them in the airport. And flight delays bc of weather happen all the time to many people, not just UM kids.

Just saying.

And sometimes people get

And sometimes people get struck by lightning, doesn't happen often, but it does happen so, you better never leave your house.

Yep, my SD flew out here

Yep, my SD flew out here unaccompanied minor for the first time this summer at 12 years old. Not too young to fly alone, IMO. And it saved some time, as she lives 6 hours away from us. Of course, if she flies out next visit, I might recommend them changing her incoming flight time to be far, far away from rush hour as it took us almost 2 1/2 hours to get home from the airport that is only 30 minutes away from our apartment, haha.

SD is very nervous being by herself out in public places because GUBM has instilled some weird ass anxieties into her, but, she had a blast flying. GUBM walked her to the gate, SD got on the plane, was checked on by the flight attendants consistently throughout the entire hour long flight, and, after landing, she and the other minors were kept on the plane until all other passengers got off and they were walked off of the plane by the flight attendants and hand delivered to the adults picking them up. And, when she went home, the process was reversed with SO walking her to the gate and all that jazz. The kids are only "unaccompanied" by their guardians on the plane, at which point the flight attendants assume responsibility - hence the fee some airlines charge.

Once a kid gets used to flying, you can usually fly them out on airlines that don't require the UM fee, but, I think until it becomes habit, the UM fee airlines are the best because there's an employee keeping an eye on the kids and making sure they don't get lost in the airport.

My niece flew from California

My niece flew from California to Florida alone to visit me when she was 10 years old. She'll be fine.

I used to fly on business all the time. There were unaccompanied minors all the time.

On Southwest flights where there are no assigned seats I would always have little girls sitting by me. I think their parents told them to go sit next to the first old woman they saw.

I could see being nervous about a 5 or 6 year old flying alone - but at 12 she should be fine unless she is developmentally delayed.