The DRAMA QUEEN Never Quits
Yep, this morning, while we were having breakfast the SD calls. She is outside our front door with EVERY THING we have ever given her over 30 years! I let H deal with her and stayed eating my pancakes.
This is typical over reaction from her. Note she allegedly, don't know I haven't looked in the boxes, that we gave her, but that wasn't the problem. It was whast she STOLE and I bet those items haven't come back.
What is the bee in her bonnet is that I took the money she offered, first in good faith and then tried to back down the amount.
H didn't say anything just that she brought back EVERYTHING "I" aka we ever gave her. I bet she didn't returan the antique mirror I would love to have now, or the Christmas tree done with old jewelry and lights that is framed. I should see just what she gave me back before I make those claims.
Here we go again. H keeps
Here we go again. H keeps telling me that after he is gone she would help me out. I don't believe that. When I point out the few times I have asked for help and NEVER received it, he tells me "That is the past", But isn't how she acts towards me in the past indicative of the future? What do you think? I mean the woman has never taken me shopping, out for burgers, to a show, anything.
I see another head ache and stomache problems starting.
H is sitting in the living room not even watching the tv, so I know it bothers him. Now will he go after me or?
I need all the support I can get because I don't want to start a fight about this. THAT is what she is doing. This is the kind of stuff she always pulls when she doesn't get her way.
One thing I can say, is that whatever we gave her was NICE stuff not the garbage she gives us that is so bad we throw out. Or things like a can of cookies from China for Christmas etc.
Okay, checked the boxes. No
Okay, checked the boxes. No antique mirror - we are talking a good size piece that was in pristine condition. No Christmas tree made of old jewelry and lights picture 'cause that was also in pristine conditoinand costly.
What I got back is a sterling silver pin we bought her when we went to Ireland years back, and a set of dishes that we got her about 30 years ago that she stopped using and packed away. BIG DEAL! She sold the pricey serving pieces so we just got back the plates, cups and saucer. She just cleaned out part of her garage.
H. is quiet. He hasn't said a word to me about her latest tantrum, other than she said she brought back EVERYTHING, EVERYTHIING I tell you, that i/we ever gave her. That has proven to be another lie. I did point this out to H, about the mirror and tree, which as we don't put up a tree anymore would be wonderful to have. His comment was to just let her keep them. I personally hope that she thinks about me everytime she looks at them and cleans them.
I would smile and say thank
I would smile and say thank you. Engaging her in drama is what she wants. Don't say anything to your H about it. He was delusional about her before, lied to cover her stealing, and all that was BEFORE he came down with dementia. Talking to either of them would be an exercise in futility. Lock your stuff down. Get cameras. See a lawyer. Forget them. Focus on YOU. Do what is best for you, whether it's staying or leaving.
Rumple - Isn't this the
Rumple - Isn't this the craziest stuff you ever heard? The way she acts. Generally, when she pulls this carp, H goes and gives in to her, his baby girl (59). She gets the attention she so craves. I don't think it is going to be like that this time. H seems kind f resigned to her DRAMA. When we put the boxes in our garage he commented this was TOO MUCH DRAMA. I believe the comment related to her as I had done nothing.
Note - she waited to pull tis UNTIL she got the mower and checked to see if we have more tires for it. AND, that we didn't buy he used rollinataor for $85.00. You know, if it has been my Parents that were looking for a walker or rollilnator and I found one I would have just dropped it off for them. I wouldn't expect any $$ for it, I mean that would have been MY father or Mom. You can see how this one thinks.
That is why I am posting and talking out things here instead of giving Her what she wants; strife between her father and me.
Keep posting and say everything you need to say here.
Keep posting and say everything you need to say here. Point out the simple facts to DH once, and then let it go. Do not engage with her about it at all. She is doing this to cause issues between you and DH - don't give her the satisfaction. From now on when he talks about her helping you when he is gone, just smile and nod and say "ok." We all know she isn't going to help you, but you are never going to convince him of that, so there is no need to try.
I know with him he is
I know with him he is concerned about leaving me on my own after he is gone. I think it is his wishful thinking that SD will look out for me.
I recall she did this to me once before when we first moved down here. The usual she wanted something that I was going to have in MY house. So, she went home, packed up everything we gave her - minus the mirror and other very nice items, and left them on the poarch. H was oh so concerned, her feelings had been hurt; so he packed everything up and drove down to her place. I didn't go. After several hours he came back and she kept everything. But she made a scene and rukus and had him bending over to placate her. Like someone said, this is being done to try to turn Daddy against me and for her and perhaps, in his will.
At that point I did not know that she had stolen the sundial. BUT, I was already getting a good inkling as to what she was to deal with and I didn't like it.
H told me when she was young and they would play a board game llike Monopoly, if someone got houses before she did she would get angry, knock the board over and storm away!
ONE thing I have learned re this SD is to stop expecting normal from her. THAT is NEVER going to happen.
He may want to put up with this nonsense in his old age, but I have better things to do.
She just cleaned out part of
She just cleaned out part of her garage.
I would drop it all off at a thrift store.
H keeps telling me that after he is gone she would help me out. I don't believe that. When I point out the few times I have asked for help and NEVER received it, he tells me "That is the past"
I would stop responding to his nonsense, there is no point in pointing anything out. You know the truth, she won't be there for you, and frankly, I wouldn't want her around, anyway.
hereiam - You are right about
hereiam - You are right about taking it to Salvation Army. I will keep what I want out of it or sell it. BUT it is not going to be hauled back down there by H so her fee-fee's can be glorified. THAT is what she expects. Trust me, she didn't drop off anything that had any real value.
One thing to add, when we were having breakfast and she called that she was outside with all this stuff, H didn't immediately jump up and go to the door. He told her we were having breakfast and let her cool her heels out there for awhile which I am certained also teed her off. Everyone needs to JUMP when SD has a a temper tantrum. Nothing like showing up at 9 a.m. on Sunday morning, unannounced, to throw a temper tantrum. Evidently she had unloaded the 4 boxes in front of the garage door and H wasn't out there a long time so he didn't encourage or listen to her whinning.
But, H has been somewhat subdued all day.
Call her. "Where is the antique framed tree and mirror?".
Time to bare her ass. Again.
Just say it and let her simmer on that for a while. If she cries to daddy, play the "She lied and said she returned everything we had ever given her. She didn't." and let him simmer on it as well.
As for venting and support, that is why we are for.
Take care of you.
Now, call Salvation Army or some other charity to come pick up what she dropped off. Don't forget to get the receipt for charitable donation for your tax return. Let her know that you appreciate the tax break.
That will drive her nuckin futz.
Hi Rags - Yeah, I already
Hi Rags - Yeah, I already pointed out this morning to H that she didn't bring back the antique mirror, jewelry tree OR the sterling flatware I gave her. I only said it once to him and left it at that. He knows.
RE the silver flatware: I inherited it from an Aunt and already had my own, my daughter was getting my Mother's set and the other one my Grandmother's set. So,I stupidly thought I'd be nice and offer it to her. This was WAY back when her father and I first married. I can remember how she grabbed it out of my hands when I offered it. Never got a thank you note, nadda.
H. was thrilled that I gave her the set, he felt it would help bond us all together. Yeah, right.
Guess that is how one learns that no good deed goes unpunished when dealing with her.
Also Rags, driving her friggen nutz doesn't take much. She has the shortest fuse, the most egotistical (with nothing to back it up) person I have ever met. How do they say it? Her going off the deep end is not a far trip for her.
Lol. "Her going off the deep end is not a far trip for her."
One of those who goes off the deep end and breaks her ankles jumping into a wet sidewalk.
Toxic, and clearly not particularly sharp.
All of this drama and hooey.
All of this drama and hooey. *diablo*
I hope you're stomach/headache free. *give_rose*
she is certainly emotionally
she is certainly emotionally stunted. most teenagers outgrow that type of behavior befor they're 18 and here she is still playing the fool.
But in her defense, usually this works and Daddy does as she wants. She must be so confused that he isn't playing his role in her production of 'Adult Temper Tantrum Theater'
Adult Temper Tantrum Theater
Adult Temper Tantrum Theater is right on. The only thing is I have had stomache problems and a head ache since she started.
I'm too old for this nonsense. H hasn't said a word about it since we put the stuff in the garage and I pointed out the expensive, nice items she didn't give back. Only pointed that out once, so he was aware, not going to nag on it.
The more I learned about her and how she behaves and thinks, the more scared I get of her.
What is she going to do to us? Pout, not bother with us, not help us? Heck, she does all that now so how would we know the difference?
I am putting feelers on on
I am putting feelers on on this BEFORE I do it.
I have been getting rid of things I don't use etc. on eBay. Downsizing if you will. I am going to take pictures and put the silver pin we gave her from Ireland up. Don't need it, don't want it, and I can get some $$ for us for other things.
Here is the thing. SD knows I do this because a few years ago H told her I did it and gave her our seller name (H gets rid of stuff too). I KNOW she watches because that is something she would do, keep an eye on things. She has even mentioned looking at my offerings a few times.
So, if I put the piece up she will probably see it. But then she gave it back to us. I am NOT PLAYIG GAMES with her. I have no intention of giving this stuff back, again (as H did before). Any thing I can't get rid of will go to Salvation Army. I am DONE with her histronics and tantrums.
What say you all? Also, I don't want to start more problems with H but he knows I taking pics of the pin and there is only one reason I would do that.
I say... Bravo! Sell it all. Make sure SD can see what you get.
Now, demand that she return the framed jewelry tree and antique mirror. Quote her that she has returned everything that you and DH have ever given her. Add anything else to that list that she has failed to return.
Keep grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and rubbing her nose in the stench emitting stains on her lifes carpet that she made. Over, and over, and over again. When she crawls our from under her slime covered rock at the bottom of her shallow and polluted gene pool, grab her by the scruff, and get to scrubbing her nose in her own stench with an added proverbial kick to the backside. Let daddy sit and watch as reality smacks her repeatedly.
Adding in some proverbial beatings with the legal docs you are working on with your attorney.
Have fun!
The valuable stuff
Was sold, and the money received from said stuff is gone. I agree dump that stuff. Salvation Army. Is a fine group.
"What say you all?"
If you truly want an answer to that, here's my two cents:
You gave SD all these items, she is now pouting about it, and decided to be petty and drop them off at your home. IMO you/DH should have immediately taken all those items and thrown them in the trash. After all, if SD had NOT given them back you wouldn't have them anyway, right?
The time and energy you spend trying to sell a few items on Ebay is not worth the mental effort to do so. The entire time you do, you will still be mentally fixated on the fact that SD may be looking at your site, etc.
And fixated is the proper word. You need to learn to stop fixating on SD. I understand it is frustrating to you and has been for many years. But you must learn how to disengage as completely as possible. I think if you use the elder resources in your state, they may be able to find a counselor for you who will help you do that. If your DH wants or needs to communicate with her, he can also learn to do so without affecting you or drawing you into this drama.
Your entire mental and emotional focus now should be to utilize those free elder resources available to you to build a calm, peaceful life for both you and DH in your "golden years." Get all the professional help you can to do so.
While posting on Stalk is certainly a good place to vent, don't get so wound up in the drama that it becomes a daily diary for you. Spend your energy on things that bring you joy!
Thanks 2Tired. One of the
Thanks 2Tired. One of the things I do that I find fun is getting rid of stuff we don't use or need on-line. Especially as I simplify my life and start thinking more and more about Senior living. We started doing it when we could no longer deduct things on taxes and had to take the Standard Deduction. When H could no longer go fishing, we put up his Winchester fishing reel. Yes, Winchester (the gun mfg) did make a line of fishing reels WAY back when and it is a collector item. When I sold it for him we put the money in our account for future Senior Living. I use it to get rid of figurines and things I don't intend to take with me into a Senior Living facility.
I have our County Health Dept. Senior Person coming out this week to evaluate the house for what we can do to make things easier for us. I have also talked to one attoney one phone about my situation and have another one that I want to interview because he deals with Senior Law and willl be able to advise me about separation and divorce as a Senior. These things all take time to schedule.
The main reason I am
The main reason I am "frustrated" with the SD is because she keeps pulling stuff.
The other things take time. I had an appointment with an attorney, local (we are a small town of about 5,000) and before hand I sent him my list of concerns. I want to check out the attorney in a nearby larger town that handles Senior Issues but can't an apt. right away that I can make (H's many Doc. apts.)
Great advice. Drama can be addictive.
It certainly was a surprise to me when SS had aged out from under the CO and the SpermClan became instantly and entirely irrelevant. It took some time after spending 16+ years always primed for an instant battle with the SpermGrandHag for the heightened state of vigilance to decompress to a calm that I had not realized I had been missing.
Of course they did slither out from under their slug den under their rock upon occasion to try to manipulate our son. The beauty of their crap at that point was that they no longer had any protections under a CO and the gloves were off. That ultimately cost them my SS who asked me to adopt him 4yrs after he aged out from under the CO. Their attempts to get him to repay 16+ years of CS when he enlisted in the military. When he refused they then played the guilt card of his "starving" three younger SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas and he should direct deposit part of his pay to SpermGrandHag for them. He refused that too. Over the years they will occasionally start the guilt card when they see on FB that he is visiting with his mom and me and we are visiting my ILs who live in SpermLand.
"But come visit us!!!
He used to have us drop him off at the Hag's for a couple of hours but no more. There is always some sleezy manipulative crap that is pulled. Mostly just the guild fest. This has mostly been regarding SS's eldest of two younger half bros who is in prison. That broke my son's heart and is is much of the reason why he has written them off as the root cause of the felony armed burglary convict/inmate is the SpermGrandHag and the SpermIdiot's shit parenting.
Interestingly, they stalk my FB and when one of my ILs posts a pic of the family all together including SS, his mom, and me, that is when the FB cry fests starts from the SpermClan. I have no idea how they stalk me. They are not even on my Friends list. But, I really don't give as shit other than relishing in their crying mopey bullshit.
Which I am more than happy to facilitate.
Living well is always the best revenge.
Oh - 2Tired - I am using
Oh - 2Tired - I am using another thread I created to help me focus on what I need to do and what I get done. You may have already read it.
I/ve decided to sell the good stuff and add the money to my retirement living account along with the $500. I will give all the dishes to Salvation Army. They will notify me when they will next be in the area. Not certain I want to wait that long so we will see where they will go.
Here is something that I
Here is something that I really found interesting concerning H.
Amid all this drama, SD is scheduled to have TKR today. I am not a mean, heartless person even towards SD, so yesterday evening I casually reminded H about the surgery and that he should/might want to give her a call and tell her he (abiet we) were thinking of her etc. This kind of thing we have always done for other family members.
Imagine my surprise when he replied that he knew and wasn't calling! WOW!! That alone speaks volumes. I dropped the matter, but I was stunned.
I know the sundial matter is done but I want to tell you why it was so important to me at this/that time. My BFF has cancer and doesn't have a lot of time left. I would love to go see her, but that is not feasible at this time. I want you to understand it was not just what the piece meant to me, it is also what is going on with my BFF. I hope that makes sense to you.. I am dealing with a lot at this time.
I am sorry to hear about your friend.
No need to explan. You had me at the moment this shit spawn stole from you.
That is all anyone needs to know about her.
Take care of you.
Yep, this is the right topic
Yep, this is the right topic and SHE's BACK
As I said she just had knee surgery last Monday. Her husband took the week of so she was silent. Today, one week later,he is back and work and she is looking for DRAMA! It is funny because I have seen her do this before and it is predictable, though I have not brought this up with H.
Now, she claims, she the therapist that she was to go to have told her that they are understaffed and they will not be able to get her in until Thurs. or Fri. at the earliest, if then. WHAT IS SHE TO DO????? They are terrible people!.Having already been through a TKR I knew this would be BS. H. told her to call her doc and explain what was happening as getting into therapy quickly after a TKR. Of course he got the usual BS about how she can only go to certain places because of insurance and the hospital near her is TERRIBLE for therapy. Excuse, excuse, moan, poor her.
Surgeons want you in therapy ASAP after TKR. This I know as a fact. No way are they going to let you sit around for 2+ weeks before starting. The therapy is all set up for you on your instruction list so you know where to go and when to be there aka, apt. set.
H. had her on speaker phone so I chimed in and told her that it seemed she had a problem and that she should call Doc. office as they could get it fixed or get her in somewhere else. They CAN get over ride on insurance if there really is some sort of problem. H. agreed. SD did NOT want to hear this. All she wanted to do was b*tch to H about how terrible the therapists are. Told her that if there really was a problem that could get home therapy for her. Oh heavens NO, her insurance won't pay for that. Which again is total BS.
Tired of her dramatics and seeing it for what it is and not really being intersted, as I walked out of the room I told H to tell her to call the Doc and then to call him back so he would know what was going on. This he did.
Her call to him was at 2 and it is now 5:30 and she never called back. Why? Because it was total BS, a poor me, aren't I being treated terribly by whomever. Her husband is at work and she requires attention; you know the type, high maintenance.
After dinner I am going to have H call her back to find out what is going on, put the ole screws on her. I am doing this not because I give a ratz butt, but for H's sake. So he won't worry. You see, once her husband gets home, her need for DRAMA from H is over because her husband is there.
A very sick, needy person who has no concern for anyone but herself.
Now, as to why I am posting this? I would rather say here what I would like to say to H because, well I just don't want any drama with him. She is shaking him up well enough.
I am taking H with me to the library tomorrow afternoon so he can help me do my geneology. Trust me, whe will call with her latest tale about therapy and what wacko's they are but we won't be there.
All I can say is amazing how predictable she is.
What a load of shit this one is spouting.
TKR .... instant therapy. PERIOD. DOT. Unless, there is a medal reason to delay. If she is at work, there is no medical reason for her to not be in PT for her TKR recovery. She is purposely dooming herself to the pitty train. Is She is not immediately in PT she is sacrificing range of motion in her new knee and self victimizing.
She will milk this by hobbling around with a cane for the rest of her waste of skin life.
My mom did TKR about 10yrs ago. First one, then 4mos later, the other. She did PT instantly and she and dad did agressive PT at home doing the excercised demonstrated and provided by the therapist. Mom returned to full ROM very quickly. Their neighbor who is a couple of decades younger than my mother had TKR on both knees and did not to PT. He is a gimpy always in pain moron these days.
His choices, his consequences.
If SD endes up like my parent's neighbor, she needs to be forcibly relegated to the FAFO club and kept there by anyone and everyone she plies with her woe is me it huuuuuuurtsss..... BS.
Yes, PT is uncomfortable. But, do the right things and get back to no pain and full range of motion, or don't do the right thing and suffer for the rest of your life.
Not rocket surgery by any means. Pretty much, be stupid, and hurt.
Stupid should be her FIRST
Stupid should be her FIRST name. Recall this is the same person who took her hubby's Ozempic or whatever it is because she claimed no one would prescribe it for her.
H. lhasn't heard back from her and she is not answering her phone, surprise, surprise.
I emailed sock puppet (her H) yesterday evening and told him H and I were conerned about her inability to get therapy and how necessary it was that it start quickly. That, perhaps, he should help her out. In his rsponse he thanked me, he lhad NO idea there was any problem with therapy and her. IMHO she got caught in another pity me play. This will get added to her LONG list of aches, pains, rare diseases, etc. which she relishes and moans about how she hurts etc.
H. and I are going to library to do my geneoloical research so we will be there a few hours. AT least I do not have to listen to H. worry about SD. Thank Heaven! Told H sock puppet is on it so doesn't have to worry about her. He, we, have enough problems of our own.
I saw this and had to chuckle
I saw this and had to chuckle as I could slap it on my SD's forehead: It's not my fault you thought I was normal. You/ve had plenty of time and more than enough clues to figure that out.
Love it. How true.
H has not heard from SD since
H has not heard from SD since I called and asked her Husband about her "supposed" problems with therapy.
She got caught in her drama and another play for attention. Her "I want/need attention" game isn't playing here any more.