Well, we in general has some limitations on scrren time for SS, used to be total of 5-6 hours every week. He is 17 now and he can use ipad before bed time AFTER he did his study sessions.

I said in general because this kid has stole so many decices from his dad, and tried to use them at his bed time. It's getting real old. Even if we catch him and put a concequence, he will just get a computer at school and have his screen time all day there as well. He has ADHD + ASD, and is super sttuborn. Like your SD, he can stay on his ipad all day long too. 

But, what is really the problem that you want to fix, is it that your SD doesn't use her time well? or that she procrastinate on tasks that she needs to do because of the screen time?

We limit it because we want the kids to be able to interact with other people/things in the world, and that not being addicted to electronics. For my SS, it was also used as a reward for good behaviors when he was younger. Now that he kinda have unlimited screen time at school and the teachers didn't stop him, we really can't do much. (The rules still apply at home, so no unlimite video game/ipad for sure)

Fairly sure that excessive screen time isn't great for kids.  But.. what I would be doing is what you are currently doing.  If BM thinks the child has adhd.. she(and your SO).. should seek to have the child assessed.. then their pediatrician should be giving them some guidance on things that may help.. that could include reduced screen time.

You are correct in that without it.. the girl could be more of a presence and issue for you in the home.. many parents use them as babysitters.. keep the kid happy and occupied so they can do other things.. sometimes we pick our poison.

My kids are grown now but when they were little, I did manage their screen time. After school my bios would have a snack and do homework before screen time. I sent them out to ride bikes, play with friends or other active activities as well. Then it was dinner time (no screens at the table) bath, reading books and off to bed. 

My ex kept our kids fully stocked on electronic devices and games. It was a challenge to manage since he told them that if they went to his house they could have unlimted access (and he did allow them non-stop electronics in his house) but I did the best I could to have "my house, my rules" and not allow them unlimited access to games and electronics.

Too much screen time is extremely bad for kids and impacts their behavior and their health. A lot of kids end up having attention problems, anxiety, eye problems, hearing problems from unmonitored and unlimited screen time.

My kids didn't like my rules at the time but they thank me now for being the parent that taught them how to be functional adults.

My SS was a screen zombie. So, we banned all games/personal sreens from our home when he was in 6th grade. Total and complete ban. 5 years later we bought him a laptop for school when he was a HS Junior.  Bad move.  He kept it on the ralls for half a semester. We bought the computer at Spring parents weekend at Military school his Jr. year when his advisor strongly recommended that he have his own computer so he could avoid the overloaded computers in the computer lab that had long lines of Cadets waiting to use them and long sign up sheets for specific times.

By halfway through the first semester of his Sr. year he and the Spermidiot hacked the firewall and SS went into comatose screen zombie mode when he and his DipShitIot SpermDad would stay up all  night playing WoW.  He failed all but one class. This included the single class for the first semester of Sr. year that he needed to graduate. That class was not available again until the next fall and they did not allow it to be transferred in if he took it at home over the summer.  We would have had to fork over another full year of tuition for him to graduation from Militaty school.  So we brought him home at Winter break, enrolled him in our local HS, and took his laptop. He could only use it under direct hairy eyeball supervision by his mom or me.  He did graduate on time and with honors after a hellish last semester of HS.

I say get rid off all access to screens for this kid except under direct observation by you or DH and do not again allow access until the kid launches.

SS has thanked us many times over the years for interjecting on his screen zombie crap.

11yo and 15yo.  11yo has had a phone on thr network since December, and a phone on WiFi for the last number of years.  15yo has had a phone since 11.  They are both always on their phone.  Through the door from school. Watching TV.  Having a conversation.  At the table.  

11yo has screen time centrally controlled (only since her network has gone on her mums contract ans for other untrustworthy reasons).  Both of them have never had rules with phones. Ever.  Have always been allowed to take phones to bed, the bathroom, the shower, you name it.  Hence there isn't really any social life when they come.here to dads.  It infuriates me as I don't even get as much as a hello how are you.  It FILLS ME WITH RAGE how thry can be so fkin rude.  But I let it go.  Dad isn't arsed.  I gave up nagging him about it ages ago as I was just getting 2nd hand embarrassment from his gentle parenting crap.

They ain't my skids.  Mine would have manners.

I would let dh make the rules for his child.  My rules for my children while they were young was that they would earn screen time.  Whether they do something constructive or creative. 1hr for 1hr, they can earn as much as they like.  

DH has NEVER enforced screentime with SD15 and it has only led to problems. 

When she was 8 y/o, SD used the "family computer" a lot. She had free access and DH did not monitor what websites she was going on. I ended up catching her in a "chat" on some fashion design website for kids. She was cussing of course. 

SD got an iPad shortly after and started using that instead of the computer. No limits and played Roblox on end during COVID. 

SD got a cell phone at 11 and no shocker here, ZERO limitations. It's technically on BMs phone plan so DH uses that as a lame excuse to not monitor apps etc. 

Now SD is a screen addicted teen and constantly has it glued in her hand. She struggles with friendships and has been caught cyberbullying others. She also has ADHD and has no self-regulation or time management skills. As a result, her grades suffer SEVERELY. 

If she had been taught at an early age how to balance screen time, I don't think it would be as much of a struggle as it is now. I gave my opinion to DH when she was younger, but it obviously didn't make a difference and you can't parent someone else's child when they just want to be the "fun" parent. 

The Spermidiot is a game addicted fantasy focused waste of skin.  For decades he has lived rent free in a home owned by his parents. His parents paid every cent of his 16+ years of CS and travel espenses for my SS. They raised his three younger also out of wedlock statutory rape babies by two other baby mamas in their home while paying the two other baby mamas CS on their Spermidiot spawned progeny.

Spermidiot had a wall of large screen monitors for his gaming. The kids would sit around watching him play. They rarely got to play.  We got SS a top of the line gaming system when he was about 8yo.  The SpermClan started buying SS portable game systems several years before we bought the large gaming system

SS ended up a screen zombie syndromed gaming drooler.  After a couple of years we were done and purged all video gaming from our home.  The major symptoms were that if a screen was on anywhere near him he would stop, go slack jawed, and stare at it.  Commercials, etc... It did not matter.  So we were done.  The only TV he was allowed watch was if as a family we were watching something.  If he came downstairs during homework time and we had the TV on, instant slack jawed catatonic zombie. We would turn off the TV, he would get mad and stomp off to do whatever he came downstairs to do.

There was zero gaming in our home from the time he was about 10yo.  His use of a computer was only for school and under direct supervision.

I do not game. At all.  When Doom was big SS and I played it until I beat it.  That was it for my gaming career. SS and I did play some games together on his gaming system though that was not a lot.

SS is approaching 33 and has thanked us a number of times over the years for not allowing him to destroy his life gaming.

I am definately a founding member of team zero gaming.  

Z...... E........R.........O!