ideas, ideas
I just spoke with my BF regarding my SS and how I feel about having him around. I actually feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I'm ready to move on. I've decided that taking my 2 kids and moving out might be the best thing for me. I've sacrificed my happiness long enough, im uncomfortable in what should be my own home. Unfortunately, Its never felt like my home. Not when his ex family call and barge in whenever they want. I'm uncomfortable when they come to visit, or when they call. I did take on the responsibility willingly 12 years ago, and was a mother to him which I still will be. Just not in the same home. I feel bad that but I'm tired of hiding my true feelings. We need to go.......
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I'm sorry to hear it. I'm
I'm sorry to hear it. I'm sorry your DH isn't strong enough to stop these people from invading your home and life! Hang in there.
Thanks!! Its not that he's
Thanks!! Its not that he's not strong enough. I think he feels as though they have a right being that they are actually my SS's family. I had to tell him how I felt about it. I kills me because I got myself into this years ago, and should have thought about how it would be. I became a mother before I physically became a mother. I'm tired of feeling like there are two separate families living in my home, but that is how I feel. I want to leave with MY children and set up a home of OUR OWN. He always tells me he wish he had met me first, and that it was just us. However, it didn't end up that way, and he had to step in and take responsibility when my SS's BM started neglecting his son. Life is too short!! I'll be 30yrs old this year, and I want to start living for me and my kids!!
Good for you. It really
Good for you. It really takes guts to do what's best for you and walk away after 12 yrs. Good luck girl!
Its a very hurtful situation.
Its a very hurtful situation. I don't want to separate my children from their father and the only home they know, but if I don't, I'm afraid I'll have a nervous breakdown or something. My SS has caused a lot of chaos in our family since he was able to talk. He's 12 now, and continues to wreak havoc, get into trouble at school, lie, and steal. I understand that hes just a kid, and my own son could wreak havoc as well at that age. But, he's not MY son and I wouldn't know how I would feel unless MY own son did the same things. It sounds harsh but its the damn truth.
HOLY CRAP!! You started
HOLY CRAP!! You started Stephell when you turned 18??!!!
Girl you deserve to get out on your own!! You're 30 and that's still young! If your DH can't keep his ex-family (nicely put btw) from invading your home and making you feel like a 2nd class citizen, then it is certainly best to move on!!
Yes, I was only 18. I didn't
Yes, I was only 18. I didn't have my own kid until I was 21!!! Its been a nightmare and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I would never again establish a relationship with a man who has children after going through this!!
p.s. and by the looks of it,
p.s. and by the looks of it, you knew SS when he was just an INFANT and now he's 12!!!
That goes to prove to those women who delude themselves into thinking: "well his kids are YOUNG so they will grow to love me" are TOTALLY offbase!!
In fact I think the younger they are the FASTER and HARDER the BM can start her PAS campaign and really take a foothold. By the time the skid(s) have learned language skills they have already been taught by the BM to hate SM and disrespect biodad.
I actually never had to deal
I actually never had to deal with the BM, she pretty much abandoned him. He wouldn't recognize her if he saw her and vice versa. He talks about meeting her more and more now. He does it on purpose to get to me like I really give a crap after all hes put us through. We had him for the first 12 years, let her take him for the next!! She lives out of state and has 5 other children. Shes never shown any interest, and it would be setting him up to fail. Hes already emotionally and mentally disturbed, that would make it much worst. At this point though, I can care less where he goes and who he lives with.
Absolutely. I am right there
Absolutely. I am right there with you, sister. My ss is 13-I met him when he was 1. My dh just gave me the old, "you knew what you were getting into" line last night. Bullshit! I did not know that this one year old was going to grow up to threaten to murder my son, steal my panties, lie, steal, grow his own pot, and use drugs by the time he was 13 years of age. I had no freaking clue what I was in for and had I known I would never, ever have gotten involved with my dh. Of course I wouldnt have my darling sweet daughter, but the point remains had I known what ss would be like I would have never willingly thought it would be a good idea to expose my kids nor myself to that.
I hope things work out however you want them to.
I know just how you feel!! My
I know just how you feel!! My SS burned my daughters forehead and she still has a car. They're never allowed to be alone together because he can't be trusted around her. He has threatened harm against her as well. The difference is, he would make good on his threats if he could. People say to me, "if he was your real son, would you keep him away from her". I get pissed when I hear that real son shit...the fact is that he's not so I don't know how I would feel!!! I have a 8wk old son, and I fear leaving him in the house when my SS is in the house. Whenever I take extra shifts at work, I arrange it so he won't be home so I don't have to be worried the entire time.
I am sorry your DH does not
I am sorry your DH does not put your relationship first. Be sure to share with him, that we in stephell hopes he enjoys his time in the state nursing home where his self entitled brats will surely place him.